Baboy sa dilang baboy itong si Joey Vavalina de Cashtrue!

AKALA naman ng uncircumcized at queen of halitosis (yuck! so baho da smell..Hahahahahaha!) na si Joey ‘Vavalina’ de Cashtrue ay afraid ako sa expose’ raw na gagawin ni Ferminata sa kanyang column na day in, day out ay puro si Willie Revillame ang laman. Hahahahahahahaha!
Cheap!

Sabi pa ng payatolang Vavalinang duldulin (duldulin daw talaga, o! Hahahahahahaha! how yucky!), maraming exposes’ raw na gagawin si Lola Fermi sa amin sa kanyang pralala-oriented columns. Hahahahahaha!

As if naman I’m scared of them.

Really? Go ahead! Make my day so I could write about your darkest secrets that’s as hideously discolored as your armpits. Hahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, isusulat daw ng attack and collect/defend and collect matronang nagmakaawa raw ako sa kanya many years ago dahil muntik na raw akong patayin sa subdivision na tinitirhan namin sa Talipapa for non-payment of apartment rentals. Hahahahahahaha!

Reallly? Ikaw talaga supot na hinayupak na Ali Baba, kahit kailan, walang-wala kang kredibilidad just like your idol Lola Fermi who’s the original ESP writer this side of Hollywood.
Hahahahahaha!

Bakit naman ako papatayin for non-payment of apartment rentals gayung lagi naman akong up to date?

Mag-research ka nga supot na matandang nanggigitatang mabahongang bakla bago ka mag-text ng mga kwentong Tasya Pantasya. Hahahahahahahaha!

Cheap na tsupingerang bakla, pakisabi mo sa duldulic mong amiga na bago siya manglait nang kung sinu-sino sa kanyang cheapanggetch na columns, manalamin muna siya at pakatitigan ang kanyang reflection roon at baka higit pa siyang nakaririmarim sa mga artistang tinitilad-tilad (her very cheap and antiquated word..Hahahaha!) niyang parang piling bikol. Hahahahahahaha!

As if naman I’m scared of any concoctions that this aging matrona would write about me. Hakhakhak!

Go ahead. Make my day!

Pag ako ang nagsulat ng no-holds-barred things about you, baka hindi ka na makalabas ng bahay at magngangawa ka na naman tulad nang ginawa mo more than a decade ago sa office ng Bandera (that was owned then by its original owners the Go Kong Wei).

Honestly, ikaw naman talaga ang pinaka-Oro Cang nakilala ko. Kayong dalawa ng duldolic na si Vavalina de Cashtrue na mamamatay na lang ay puro pa kasinungalingan ang alam at never na naging makatotohanan.

Ipasuka ko kaya ang nilamong masasarap na pagkain sa bahay namin ng matandang hangap sa ratbulites na’to at baka matauhan?

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Sa totoo, this doltish ingrate of a sloven pig doesn’t know what gratitude is all about.

I bailed him out of his troubles many times but gratitude is not a part of his physical make-up.

This diabolical pig doesn’t sleep at all and would text me non-stop with some piggish delusions that seems to fester insidiously in his veritably deranged head. Hahahahahahahaha!

No wonder, he’s now afflicted with diabetes and it’s only a matter of time before Taning claims him to stay with him in his kingdom in hell.

Hahahahahahaha!

Serves you right, grandma for being such a fiendish ingrate.

No wonder, your scars all over your body is triangular and colored purplish black.

That’s the devil in you pestering within your soul and making some overt appearance in some parts of your body.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Triplehin mo ang mouthwash mo, lolang mukhang buhay pa’y mukhang tigok na, (Lolang mukhang tigok na raw, o! Hahahaha!) para makahada ka pa bago ma matigbak. Hahahahaha!

***

Ate Vi off to Hawaii with Sen. Ralph and Ryan

ALL work and no play makes Pilar a dull girl.

That must be the dictum that Governor Vilma Santos Recto assiduously adheres to that’s why she’s taking some time off from her hectic working sched to unwind a little with Senator Ralph Recto and son Ryan in Hawaii.

“We’re leaving tomorrow for Hawaii,” Ate Aida Fandialan keeps us updated with Ate Vi’s latest itinerary, “and will be back on the 17th.”

The entourage is composed of the same intimate travel group – Senator Ralph, Ate Vi, Ryan, Momsie Carmen with two pals, Ate Vi’s siblings Lyn and Joel, Ralph’s friends Neal, Bimbo and Boyet, Yvonne, a family friend, Carla, Ate Vi’s niece and Ate Aida.

According to Ate Aida, she’ll positively be seeing Ate Vi’s friends from the press at the presscon of Star Cinema’s The Healing sometime in July.

Happy trip, Ate Vi. We’re hoping that you’re going to have a most fulfilling vacation with your family and some intimate friends.

***

Eula Valdez’ staying power

KAPAG tiyempong nasa bahay lang kami, specially so at the height of the Corona impeachment trial, talaga namang never naming nami-miss na panoorin ang top-rating program na Mundo Man ay Magunaw ng ABS-CBN.

Buod kina Empress at Nikki Gil, pinakaaabangan namin ang appearance ni Eula Valdez whose kind of beauty has remained fresh and comely.

Bagay na bagay sila, in a way, ni Emilio Garcia who’s still rivetingly handsome and sexy and can very much hold on his own comeliness side by side with Ejay Falcon.

Anyway, shocked-to-the-hilt kami sa rami ng commercials ng soap na hindi magpapatalbog sa bonggang soap nina Coco Martin at Julia Montes.

Ikaw na talaga, Eula V. at wala nang iba pa.

Mundo Man Ay Magunaw gets aired from Monday thru Friday right after It’s Showtime.

***

Willing daw makipagbalikan kahit na nalagyan ng ekok sa ulo

PAGKATAPOS na sagarin sa pambababae ang kanyang ‘di naman kalakihang nota (‘di naman daw kalakihang nota, o! Hakhakhak!) sa walang habas na pambababae, na-realize raw ng aging hunk na ‘to na labs niyang tunay ang girlfriend niya of six years na ang sabi’y living in heavenly churva (heavenly churva raw, o! Hahahahaha!) with her new mate. Hahaha!

He’s willing to forget everything raw and smoke the peace pipe with her.

Ang tanong, willing ba naman ang girl?

Ang sagot, Washington DC raw. Hahahahahahahaha!

Not in the next 50 years ever. Hahahahahahahaha!

Happy na raw kasi ito sa bago niyang paparu who’s a lot younger and bigger and has got awesome staying power, if you know the salient point I’m hinting at. Hahahahahahahaha!

Punung-puno raw kasi sa bagong papa ang girl whereas may mga unfilled gap sa kanyang former flame.

Ganuned? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Ang tindi ng sex appeal ni Alden Ricahrds!

PANAY ang buntung-hininga ng mga vaklushi sa trailer ng bagong soap (One True Love) nina Alden Richards at Louise delos Reyes. Pa’no naman kasi, delectably fresh and very papable ang dating ni Alden at gandarang tunay naman si Louise.

From the looks of it, ang tandem nila ang isa sa magiging pinaka-successful na loveteams sa Kapuso network.

As Tisoy and Elize, the two are going to bring you into the faraway dreamland where true love still exists and fairy tale romances still triumph beyond all odds.

Sa true, mukhang swerte ang GMA sa dalawang ito dahil perfect ang kanilang chemistry from their appealing good looks down to their promising acting capabilities.

Mapanonood na ito starting June 11 on GMA Telebabad, right after Makapiling Kang Muli.

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