Bungalyang Ferminata pailalim na tinitira si Ruffa!

THERE is no one like Ferminata, the aging tsaka, when it comes to duplicity.

The scheming shrew has been able to master her taling-harap ways to the max. Hahahahahaha!

Kunwa-kunwari’y okay kayo pero kwidaw, she is already spewing filth behind your back and would do the suave maneuvering of putting you down through her ‘tentacles’. Hahahahahahaha!

That’s how hideously she operates. Hahahahahaha!

And that is what she’s actually doing right now behind Ruffa Gutierrez’ back.

Suffice to day, her decision to resign from Paparazzi has been one of the best and sanest decisions she has made in years. Mahirap kasing katrabaho ang isang La Traidorang tulad ni Lola Fermi who operates stealthily behind your back.

A veritable back-stabber if I may say so! Hahahahahahaha!

At any rate, if there’s one thing with the obese gurangga, she never forgets a grudge and would get even in the ignominious way she knows how to. Hahahahahahahaha!

So, right now, kinukudlit-kudlitan din niya si Rufingfing pero ang tumitirang talaga ay ang kanyang ‘terminators’, one of which happens to be this delusory lesbo whose loyalty to Lola Fermi is solid as a rock.

Hahahahaha!

Anyhow, they won’t in the least bit succeed because creeps like them rot in hell in due time. Hahahaha!

Akala naman siguro nitong si Nganga ay nagtagumpay na siya tulad ng paninirang ginawa niya kay Rufa Mae Quinto nu’ng time na nagiging paborito ito ni Pareng Willie. Hahahahahaha!

Out of intense insecurity, kung anu-ano ang binukeke ng matandang mamad na ang mga labi (Hahahahahaha! how kadiri talaga this guranggetch! Hakhakhak!) sa kayuyupyop ng yosi (Hakhakhak!) kaya in the end, nagtagumpay na naman siya at biglang nagbabu sa show ‘yung tao (Rufa Mae) when she was decided to be a part of it for a long, long time.

Imagine, this old goat had the temerity to write that the Kapuso star’s boobsies are supposedly sagging, it was grossly unbecoming of her to be wearing such revealing outfits that more than showcased her depreciated assets. Hakhakhak!

The nerve!

Eh, siya, kumusta naman ang bumpers niya? Are they still in good shape?

Buoyant pa ba ang mga ito at ‘di pa nakaturo sa lupa?

What about her flawed skin, is she proud of it? Hahahahahahaha!

Ang tiyanetch na sooo laki and sooo tsaka, kumusta naman? Hahahahahahahaha!

Kung bakit kasi ‘di ipa-tuck in ang nagsa-sag niyang panga para gumanda-ganda naman ang itzu niya.

Hahahahaha!

Alam mo, gurangga, with all the money that you’ve been able to harbat from Papa Wil, why don’t you have your underarm treated so that the purplish discolorations would vanish? Hakakhak!

Yosi-kadiri naman ‘yan. Ang dami mong anda tapos was mo trip ipaplantsa ang kili-kili mo para di nakahihiya kapag naka-short sleeves at nagtututuro nang kung anik-anik. Hakhakhak!

Lastly, ipaplantsa mo ang bornok mong pag-uugali na grabe kung manira. Tigil-tigilan mo na rin ang AC/DC ways mo dahil sa edad mo, di na ‘yan kagandahan. Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Elmo Magalona at Julie Anne San Jose masaya sa positive reviewers ng Together Forever

DAHIL sa magagandang feedbacks mula sa fans at manonood, patuloy ang tinatamasang tagumpay ng pinakabagong Sunday youth-oriented series ng GMA, ang Together Forever, matapos makapagtala ng mataas na ratings simula nung umere ito.

Base sa overnight household data mula sa Nielsen TV Audience Measurement na narecord sa Urban Luzon (June 17 at June 24), ang Together Forever ay nakapagtala ng average household audience share na 31.8% points kumpara sa ibang shows na kasabay nito. Ang Urban Luzon ay bumubuo ng 77 percent of total television households nationwide.

Sa Mega Manila, nakapagtala ng 31.4% ang Together Forever. Ang Mega Manila ay bumubuo ng 58 percent ng total television households nationwide.

Ang buong cast at production team na pinangungunahan nina Elmo Magalona at Julie Anne San Jose ay masayang-masaya sa success ng kanilang bagong show. Ayon kay Elmo, hindi siya makapaniwala sa natatanggap na positive feedback at overall reception ng mga manonood. “I’m amazed and contented sa pagtanggap ng mga viewers at fans sa Together Forever. Happy ako dahil ang ganda ng feedback na nakukuha namin at makikita nga ito sa ratings ng show,” saad niya. Si Julie Anne naman ay masaya rin sa success ng kanilang unang series, “Masaya po ako dahil sinuportahan kami ng mga tao, at mas lalo pang masaya dahil mataas ang ratings noong pilot episode.”

Ngayong Linggo, alam na ng Trinidad siblings na sina Jasmine (Janine Gutierrez), Ely (Elmo), at Raz (Renz Vale -rion) ang tunay na pagkatao ni Angelo (Enzo Pineda), na ito ay anak ng kanilang yumaong ama sa unang karelasyon. Hindi tanggap ni Ely ang bagong salta sa buhay nilang magkakapatid. Pero wala naman itong mapagsabihan ng problema niya lalo pa’t iniiwasan siya ng best friend niyang si Toyang (Julie Anne San Jose).

Pero sa tulong ni Jepoy (Sef Cadayona) magagawang makausap ni Ely ang best friend para alamin kung ano ang issue nila. Samantala, sunud-sunod na mga problema naman ang darating sa buhay ni Jasmine. Nandyan na ang paglapit ni Angelo sa kanya; paghiling ni Aurora na lumaban siya ulit sa school pageant; at sinabayan pa ni Ben (Benedict Campos), ang kanyang boyfriend, na nagrereklamo na kulang ang oras na binibigay sa kanya.

Magkakaayos pa kaya ang magparekoy na sina Ely at Toyang? Paano haharapin ng magkakapatid ang bagong salta sa buhay nila?

Alamin sa Together Forever ngayon Linggo July 1, pagkatapos ng Party Pilipinas sa GMA.

***

Dati’y deadma, ngayon’y nagtitilam-tilam na!

HAHAHAHAHA! Things are getting better in as far as this good-looking hunk is concerned.

Dati, and this was the time when he was languishing and was not in any way busy with any jobs or commitments, deadma raw sa kanyang presence ang isang moneyed entrepreneur.

But now that he’s body has become buffed and he’s much sought-after and is busy hopping from one network to another doing soaps, it seems that the gay businessman has had a change of heart. Hakhakhak!

Parang nagtitilam-tilam na raw ito at naiintriga na sa crotch ng di na rin naman kabataang aktor. Hakhakhak!

In a way, di rin namin masisisi ang ricang negosyante. Talaga namang nagkaroon ng sex appeal ang ombre at ang gandang tingnan ng kanyang firm and trim body, along with that intriguing bulge that is now the main focus of his machismo. Hahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Supsupan, anyone? (Shamcey Supsop daw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!)

***

Edilson Nascimento once more with feeling!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ever since we featured Brazilian hunk model Edilson Nascimento here in Remate, truckloads of text messages would inundate our cellphones first thing in the morning.

Iba talaga ang kanyang sex appeal at boyish allure, fags and bisexuals of all ages are pretty intrigued and sa livating. Hahahahahahahaha!

Once again, here he is. Savor him to the full, babes! Hakhakhak!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hahahahahaha!

***

Dahil sa sobrang sipag, nag-relapse ang flu ni Ate Vi!

DAHIL advance ang deadline natin, di natin alam kung makadadalo mamayang gabi sa Shang-rila hotel ang Queenstar for all Seasons para tanggapin ang kanilang award ni Senator Ralph Recto in connection with public governance.

But at seven in the morning, Ate Aida Fandialan told us that Governor Vilma Santos Recto did have a relapse and was running a fever again the night before.

“Nabasa kasi siya ng ulan the other day noong umikot kami sa Batangas city, Tanauan and Sto. Tomas,” Ate Aida asseverates.

“Wala pang feedback re-affair tonight,” she adds cryptically.

Oh, well, it’s time for Ate Vi to take a stock of her life as a public servant.

Siguro naman, at 35, she should know her limitations and should not over-exert herself.

At any rate, sa huling text bulletin (text bulletin raw talaga, o! Hakhkahak!) ni Ate Aida, baka raw may possibility na um-attend sa affair sa Shangrila ang actress/politician. It would all depend on how she would be feeling in the evening of that day.

Kung naka-attend or hindi, ang wish lang namin is for Ate Vi to really get well.

Malapit na ang showing ng kanilang The Healing under Star Cinema, she needs to be physically fit for its mara- thon promo.

***

Blooming si Jennylyn

UM-ATTEND kami sa presscon ng Hindi Ka Nag-iisa ni Ms. Jennylyn Mercado at napuna naming super slim lately ang mama ni Luis Manzano.

Kunsabagay, looking fit and svelte seems to be the order of the day as evidenced with the way the other actor of the soap Carl Guevarra looked.

Going back to Jennylyn, naikwento ni Mosang, na siyang kaeksena niya in most of her early scenes in this soap, na may mga time na aminado raw ang young actress na hirap itong umarte.

“Puro bugbugan talaga ang eksena namin dito ni Jen,” reports Mosang with insouciance. “‘Yung una kong scene, nag-aaway kaming dalawa. Sinasabunutan ko siya, sinasampal.

“Professional talaga si Jen,” she adds in obvious admiration of the actress’ professionalism.”

Minsan daw, kapag aminado ang aktres na hirap siyang umiyak, may mga drama silang peg nilang maging Vilma Santos si Jen at Edu Manzano naman siya.

Minsan naman, Ate Guy raw si Jen at Ralph Recto naman siya. Hahahahaha!

Ka-amuse!

Anyhow, monster raw ang role niya rito. Doon nga raw sa first day of taping nila, nagka-acid reflux siya dahil sa tensyon. “Nilalait ko ba naman agad siya and it even came to a point na hinayaan kong niri-rape siya ng boy -friend ko.

“Monster talaga ang role ko rito!” she asseverates.

Anyway, magpi-premiere ang kanilang soap sa July 9 sa GMA Afternoon Prime. It will replace Hiram Na Puso.

Competent director Gil Tejada, Jr. is at the helm.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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