Dahil sa anda: Daniel Fernando kinakana na naman ni Ferminata!

TINDI talaga ng kapal ng apog nitong si Ferminata, the ugly and money-oriented lola. Hahahahahaha!

Imagine, Vice-governor Daniel Fernando hasn’t done anything bad to her but typical of this money worshipper matrona, (money worshipper matrona raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!) she’s once again repeatedly writing the most obnoxious things about the good-natured actor-turned politician.

Magkanoooooooh?

Ang kapal! Over sa kapallllllllll!

Kung gusto niyang iangat ang kanyang manok, this scheming and wily as snake matrona can do so without having to hurt Daniel in the process.

Ano ba naman ‘yung i-hosannah niya to-the-highest ang kanyang good-looking talent and no one would even raise  a condescending brow.

Ang kaso, Lola Nganga has been putting Vice gov Daniel down while heaping on the best of accolades and praises on her protege.

Isn’t she being unfair?

Ano ba naman ang nagawang mali sa kanya nu’ng tao para tilad-tilarin niyang parang piling bikol (if I may borrow your very cheap words, lola… Hakhakhak!), aber?

Ito talagang si Nganga, oo. When money’s the issue, she salivates like an ogre and would resort to her mud-slinging tactics in the most obnoxious and deplorable manner imaginable.

Cheeeaaapppppp!

Panget na nga, mukhang anda pa, (Hahahahahahahaha!) no wonder she’s fast becoming obese and untolerably ugly. Hahahahahahaha!

Ang tanong, may naniniwala ba naman sa kanya?

In my case, I’ve known Daniel since the mid-80s when he was being introduced by way of the blockbuster Peque Gallaga erotic master piece Scorpio Nights.

And since then, I get to see him only occasionally until such time that he becomes a politician in Bulacan and I would say with all the objectivity in me that he’s always been exemplary and a real friend of and on cam.

Nu’ng magkaroon nga kami ng konting problema with some of the politicians in his bailiwick, I learned that he gave his unbiased opinion on the matter to them without sounding in the least bit antagonistic.

Ang layo naman sa mala-burukang approach ni Nganga na obvious talagang andalu ang motivations.

Andalu raw talaga ang motivations, o! Hakhakhak!

Ito talagang ngangaerang matandang ito na pinagwiwelgahan ng televiewer namin noon sa Juicy, the men in particular, who could not stomach her hideous-looking face, along with her cheap hosting skills that borders on nauseating ka-cheap-an and mala-Balagtasan way of talking with matching cheap katas and kitas thrown in for nauseating measure, walang pagbabago ang pagiging anda-oriented. Hahahahaha!

No wonder, below sea level ang kanilang ratings dahil who would watch a cheap obese (obese raw talaga, o! Haha hahaha!) matrona at one in the morning blubbering inanities and idiotic stories on cam?

Hahahahahahahaha!

Magtinda ka na lang ng kakanin sa Parada, Valenzuela city at baka kumita ka pa, lola! Hahahahahahaha!

Tantanan mo si Papa Daniel because he’s not doing anything deplorably bad to you.

Umayos ka, huh? Baka maikwento ko pa ang mga nakaririmarim mo pang gawain magngangawa ka na namang parang itik.

Nakaririmarim (o, hayan, gurangis, huh? ang salitang ugat ang inuulit…idiota! Hahahahahahaha!) ka! Sa totoo lang!

***

Shawn M. is hot!

SHAWN M. is presently one of America’s hottest Timoteo briefs signature models. A young US Marine, recently returning home from Iraq, he’s presently enjoying his new endeavors as a fashion and ramp model.

Have a peek at his riveting machismo. Isn’t he simply irresistible? Hahahahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal ang magtikol! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Agot Isidro signs up with GMA7

GMA Network formally welcomed seasoned actress Agot Isidro as a Kapuso. The multi-talented TV personality was gladly received by GMA officers as she inked an exclusive contract today at GMA Network Center. Agot makes her television debut in GMA as one of the lead stars of the primetime drama, One True Love, where she’s pitted against the formidable acting skills of equally seasoned talents Jean Garcia and Raymond Bagatsing, along with the promising young tandem of Louise delos Reyes and Alden Richards, that goes on the air righ after Makapiling Kang Muli on GMA Telebabad.

Present in the contract signing were (from left) AVP for Entertainment TV Redgie Acuña-Magno, GMA Entertainment TV’s OIC Lilybeth G. Rasonable, GMA Chairman and CEO Atty. Felipe L. Gozon, Agot and Shirley Kuan (Agot’s manager).

***

Sinayang ang oportunidad dahil sa kabaklaan!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! This emaciated fag is presently the target of venomous gossips and cheap allusions.

Mantakin mo nga namang nag-overboard siya sa kanyang pag-iilusyon at mujer na mujer na ang kanyang pantasya lately.

Jesus H. Christ! will somebody please slap him real hard so he would be back to the stark reality that he’s  a man and not a woman even if he’s going to starve himself to death so he could avail of an anorexic figure?

Honestly, deluded ang vaklung na ‘to at parang disoriented sa mga nangyayari sa kanya. Hahahahahaha!

Kahit bali-baliktarin man ang mundo, he’s a man and there’s no escaping to that.

Honestly, sinayang niya ang pagkakataong lumigaya sa piling ng lalakeng pantasya niya dahil sa hitsura niyang ‘yan sa ngayon, malabo ng may magkagusto pa sa kanya.

My God! Is he some kind of a nuts?

‘Di hamak na attractive at katilam-tilam ang kanyang itzu when he was still a man as compared to her emaciated appearance now that’s reeking with unadulterated cheapness.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Imagine, di ba niya na-realize na mas effect-effect ang lovelife niya nu’ng bisexual o closet queen lang siya as compared to her obnoxious figure now that he’s a full fledged transvestite?

Sinayang mo kuya ang nota mong sooo haba and oh-sooo taba pa raw namang naturingan. Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Ate Vi is overwhelmed with her Vilmanians’ concern

She is not much of a talker when it comes to her emotions, but Queenstar Vilma Santos Recto is palpably overwhelmed with her Vilmanians’ concern and showcase of love specially so now that she’s in her sickbed.

Sa totoo, matibay ang kanyang resistance sa mga sakit-sakit na ‘yan but she must have been exerting too much efforts and abusing her body in a way without her being much aware of it.

Running a province like Batangas is no joke considering the one thousand and one commitments that you need to attend to.

May hangganan din siyempre ang body resistance ni Ate Vi kaya at one point, she is comparable to an engine that has suddenly dramatically conked out.

Her generic medications help but she also needs to have it augmented with complete body rest, along with eating the right food.

One thing that she seems to have neglected at times by virtue of her hectic working sched as Batangas’ lady governor.

So, just relax Ate Vi and take your sweet honest time in recuperating from your ailment.

Love you much!

***

FHM’s sexiest uli si Sam Pinto!

O, ‘DI ba naman?

FHM’s Sexiest na naman this year si Sam Pinto at natalbugan talaga niya ang ibang contenders sa title na ‘to na nakipagpukpukan sa kanya many weeks ago.

Kunsabagay, deserved naman ni Sam ang nasabing title dahil she’s not only refreshing comely but palpably loaded as well.

Sa recent movie na nga lang ni Mr. Ogie Alcasid under GMA films and Regal productions na Boy Pick-Up: The Mo- vie, outstanding ang labas niya mereseng ang dami rin nilang mga sexy at pretty chicks roon. Hahahahaha!

Iba kasi ang beauty ni Sam. She’s freshness personified and the cameras truly adore her. Hahahahahaha!

‘Yung iba nga, naturingang magaganda pero tsapter ang registration on cam.

Maybe it’s because Ms. Claire dela Fuente’s protegee happens to be intrinsically good-natured, the cameras capture it in full regalia.

Sa July na nga pala ang coronation at awarding kay Sam bilang FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World 2012 and it’s going to be staged at the World Trade Center.

Pabolosa!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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