Movie ni Coco Martin, flop na kaagad para sa guranggang kiyemedorang si Ferminata!

HOW so funny naman itong guranggang na si Ferminata, da tsakitang (tsakita raw, o! Hahahahahahahaha!) ngangaera who’s very much wanting of credibility. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Da kabalangic gurangga is once again doing a reprise of her cheap ESP way of writing of late by way of foretelling an event long before she gets to see its outcome. Hahahahahahaha!

In all honesty, she’s into ESP writing once again just like before when she was using the monicker Nelia Santos, among other aliases that she concocted while doing a series of articles for Jingle Sensation mag prior to the advent of her Mariposa publication. Hahahahahahahaha!

Cheap bungalya! Hahahahahahahahah!

Anyway, say ni Peter Ledesma, our trusted friend for many good years now, hindi pa man daw nalalaman ng babaeng bungalyang gurang (bungalyang gurang daw, o! Hakhakhak! cheap!) ang outcome sa takilya ng Born to Love You nina Coco Martin at Angeline Quinto under Star Cinema na super positive ang feedbacks ngayon in some 100 cinemas nationwide where it’s presently being shown, flop na agad ang verdict ng ESP writer ng milenyo. Hahahahahahaha!

Kumbaga, nininega na n’ya agad para tabangan ang mga otaw na panoorin ito dahil ‘di naman pala ito tinatao. Hahahahahaha!

Guranggang bungal, you can’t do that to Coco Martin who’s definitely one of the hottest actors of his generation.

Why don’t you focus all of your fading energy on your show that’s being shunned away from by the multitude basically because of your hackneyed hosting style that has long seen better days? Hahahahahahahaha!

Guranggetch, maggantsilyo ka na lang sa iyong tumba-tumba chair dahil your cheap nauseating showbiz oriented talk show was doomed the very moment you have it anchored with your cheap antiquated style. Hahahahahaha!

Kung bakit naman kasi nagpipilit na buhayin ang istilong mga tayutay when it’s now the advent of Tag-lish generation? Hahahahahahaha!

Kung matino ang pag-iisip ni Mr. Perci Intalan, ibabalik nya ‘yan sa amin nina Rey Pumaloy at Morly Alinio at huwag kaming bubusalan ng mga insekurida riyan at hayaang mag-host in the amusing style the public has come to love, ewan ko lang kung di mag-rate muli ‘yan.

Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yung mga masalamisim mong pananalita ay nauso pa nuong time ni Lola Basyang, guranggang tsaking, kaya let go of these and try to keep abreast with the ever-changing times. Hahahahahahaha!

Paayos mo na rin ang busalsal mong ilong na hirap na hirap hagipin (hirap na hirap hagipin daw, o! Hahahaha!) ng mga camera men dahil dapang-dapa kaya mahirap angguluhan. Hakhakhak!

Another thing, pa-lipo mo na ‘yang sooo laki and sooo bilog mong tiyanetch para magkakorte ka naman at ‘di na kinakailangang magsuot pa ng mga drab and shapeless outfits mong ‘yan na parang trapal ang arrive. (Parang trapal daw ang arrive, o! Hahahahahahahaha!)

Honestly, comparable ka sa mga trapong politicians. Kumbaga, tapos na ang time ninyo, it is best that you just fade out from the scene with dignity or be kicked-out ignominiously. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Kung bakit kasi pinagpipilitan ang bornok na istilo na hindi na adaptable sa panahong makabago. Hahahahahaha!
‘Yun lang!

***

Levi Johnston bares it all!

LEVI Johnston is all of 21 years old and Hollywood’s most promising newcomer and soon to be an expectant father when his live-in mate delivered their first born.

A very private person, Levi is not much into socializing and would very much prefer to stay in the privacy of his bedroom when not busy with his showbiz commitments.

Look at his young and verile body. Isn’t he simply gorgeous? Hahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hahahahahahaha!

***

Speechless kami sa ganda ng obra ni Direk Ricky Davao

ANG ganda-ganda ng latest master piece ni Direk Ricky Davao sa GMA.

Intriguingly titled Makapiling Kang Muli, it’s being headed by the slimmer and a lot yummy-looking Richard Gutierrez and the fabulously lovely Carla Abellana.

Casting coup rin ito in the sense that it has incorporated some of the country’s finest acting talents in the person of Mr. Philip Salvador, Mark Gil, Robert Arevalo, Ms. Gloria Romero in a role you’ve never seen her before, and my favorite actress Ms. Rio Locsin.

Sa second generation of stars, we have the hunky Paolo Paraiso (it’s so nice to see him acting again on the boob tube), Dominic Roco, Benedict Campus, Rocky Gutierrez, the lovely Janine Gutierrez that’s being introduced in this soap, together with the very macho gwapito Mark Anthony Fernandez.

Jennylyn Mercado was given a featured role in this soap as the young Rio Locsin.

Syempre, ang star of the show ay si Richard Gutierrez na suportado ng feisty mom nyang si Madam Annabelle Rama and her magic lechon. Hahahahahahaha!

Honestly, quality ang soap that’s being shot on location para majustify ang mga eksenang rodeo at cowboy.

Bagay na bagay si Richard sa kanyang role bilang si Marin Caballero at talagang complimentary ang kanyang personalidad sa overflowing beauty ni Carla Abellana.

Kaaliw rin ang direktor na si Ricky Davao na pawang magaganda ang projects na natotoka sa kanya ng GMA.

Kung ang ibang direktor ay mga tensyonado sa set, cool lang si Direk Ricky and would only motivate his actors if and when it’s needed.

But after this project sees completion, he says he’d return to acting once again for a much needed change of phase and ambience.

Oo nga naman.

***

Martir sa Golgotha!(HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

KAALIW naman ang kwentong nagsi-circulate tungkol sa controversial lovelife ng isang hunk actor at ng kanyang comedy sweetheart. Hahahahahahaha!

Dahil sa masyadong napagod na raw sa sagad-sagarang tapings, nagyaya ang tisay na girlalu na mag-out-of-town naman sila ng kanyang bruskong papa.

Okay na raw sana ang set-up, ang kaso, biglang may-I-join ang gay manager ng not-so-young hunk actor, much to the chagrin of the winsome actress, but naturally. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ang ending, scorer raw ang tisay na girlalu dahil ang katabi sa pagtulog ng paparu niya ay ang claving na manager at ‘di siya.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

How depressing! (How depressing daw, o! Hakhakhak!)

At any rate, marami namang time para sila’y mag-churvahan.

Pero kapag ganyang kasama talaga ang eksenadorang bading, etsapwera muna ang girlalu dahil ito raw ang legal wife. (Legal wife raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!)

Syempre naman, career muna bago love. Hahahahahahaha!

Material boy kasi si papa and the young sexy actress naman is very much aware of the set-up long before they
became on.

Ang tanong, nakatutulog kaya ang girl knowing pretty well that her papa’s sizable dick is being fellated repeatedly by the dick-hungry vaklung the whole night? (The whole night daw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahaha!)

Well, that is the kind of abysmal set-up that you need to stomach if your papa is trying to live in the best of both worlds.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Natauhan na at ‘di na ginagamit ang grandslam title ni Ate Vi

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Magaling na aktres naman si Ms. Lorna Tolentino and she’s one of the finest actresses Tinsel Town has ever produced but the grandslam actress epithet truly belongs to the Queenstar for All Seasons Ms. Vilma Santos.

Anyhow, may nag-feedback sa amin na natauhan daw yata ang TV5 people kaya hindi na nila ginagamit ang title na
‘yun for Ms. LT.

Sa rating-less (rating-less raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak! how gross!) nga raw ng showbiz-oriented program ni chakelyang Lola Fermi, veteran actress na ang ginagamit nila.

Sabi nga ng isang avid reader ng ating tabloid, “You know what? At my age, (she’s 34 years old), lahatin mo na ang mga artista pero si Ms. Vilma Santos lang ang napananatili ang kasikatan simply because lahat ng kanyang ginagawa, mapa-movie or TV show man, remarkable talagang lahat dahil very particular si Ate Vi sa script.

“Kumbaga, hindi siya money-oriented.”

“Kung ganda naman ang pag-uusapan, she adds in earnest, ageless pa rin.”

“Kung ‘yung iba ay puro botox queen like Gretchen B., si Ate Vi all natural pa rin!”

Oo nga naman!

Sabi nga nya in one of her interviews, ni isang turok ng karayom ay wala pa raw sa kanyang mukha.

Dapat lang!

***

Ngarag na ang mga kalaban ng Showbiz Inside Report!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! There’s no doubt that ABS CBN’S Showbiz Inside Report is presently lording it out at the 2:30 to 4 pm slot on a Saturday afternoon.

Naiiba naman kasi ang approach ng mga hosts (Carmina Villaroel, Janice de Belen, Joey Marquez and Ogie Diaz) sa mga sizzling issues sa show business.

They might be fearless in some aspect but they never fail to maintain their objectivity and sense of fairness. That must be one of the reasons why SIR is admittedly the hottest showbiz oriented talkshow every Saturday afternoon.

And today, a lot of people will positively be intrigued with Joey Marquez’ segment wherein he’ll be having a
most intimate interview with Ms. Alma Moreno.

I’m sure a lot of people would be tickled pink as Ness tries to answer Joey M.’s most probing and intimate inquiries about her life at the moment.

So, it’s a date every 2:30 in the afternoon up to 4 pm, right after It’s Showtime.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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