Na-trauma sa man-eating diva

HAHAHAHAHA! Hanggang ngayon pala, ‘di makalimutan ng daks na bold actor na ‘to ang isang emasculating episode niya with a good female singer who’s not bad-looking but faggish in her ways with men. Hahahahaha!

Faggish in her ways with men raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

Imagine, as per agreement, nag-motel daw sila ng ‘customer’ niyang female singer pero nang akmang maghuhubad na ang bold actor nagulat siya sa pagiging sobrang agresibo ng flawless sana pero may pagkabading kung dumiskarteng singer. Hahahahahahah!

Talaga raw biglang inulaol nito ng halik ang nagulat na bold actor hanggang sa mapahiga ito sa kama. Hahahahahaha!

Dahil sa sobrang agresibo ang chick, di na raw nakaporma ang hubadero na gulat na gulat talaga sa man-like de-
meanor ng chicks na kaeksena niya. Hahahahahaha!

What’s funny is the fact that he wasn’t able to brag about his sizable dick that had gone limp all troughout his emasculating ordeal. Hahahahahahaha!

But his ‘customer’ won’t accept the bold actor’s seeming reluctance to go all the way and display a huge erection as well. Hahahahahaha!

Finally, to make a long story short, nag-orgasm din ang bold actor na for the first time ay hindi nakaporma at nakapagmalaki sa chick na ka-churvahan niya. Hahahahahaha!

Kung sa mga vaklung ay buong ningning niyang pinagmamalaki ang kanyang six-inch dick, sa well experienced niyang kaeksena ay ‘di siya nakaporma dahil ang say raw ng chick ay naliliitan pa siya (Would you believe naliliitan pa sa que sabroso niyang tarugs na pantasya ng mga vaklushi? Hakhakhak!) sa kanyang kargada. Hahahahaha!

Imagine, six inches na, naliliitan pa? Hakhakhak!

Kunsabagay, sanay sa mga Kano ang bida nating babae dahil matagal na panahon siyang tumira sa Tate kaya karamihan sa mga nakaeeksena niya ay mga de ochong kargada. Hahahahahahahaha!

De ocho raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!

Wala palang binesa kahit de sais na lalake kung babaeng sanay sa Kano ang kanyang makae-eksena. Harharhar!

***

Interview ni Joey kay Alma sa SIR esekolang talaga!

ANG tindi ng dating ng one-on-one interview ni Joey Marquez sa kanyang former wife na si Ms. Alma Moreno sa Showbiz Inside Report last Saturday.

Talaga namang tinutukan ito ng sanlibutan at marami ang naaliw at nagkaroon ng lump in the throat sa napaka-honest na paglalahad ni Alma sa pinagdaanan niyang buhay (from Rudy to Dolphy down to Joey M.).

I’m sure na patataubin na naman nito sa rating’s game ang mga kapanabayang showbiz oriented program.

In that interview, Alma sincerely answered all of the most poignant questions about her past relationships up to the present one that’s repeatedly being maligned by the press.

Point-blank na sinabi ni Ness that her union with her new husband is still very much on and solid more than ever before.

Ang nakatutuwa, kung dati’y si Daboy (Rudy Fernandez) ang kanyang soulmate at best friend, now that he’s gone, it’s now Joey who has supposedly taken his place.

Touching!

Napanonood nga pala ang Showbiz Inside Report right after It’s Showtime at ABS CBN.

***

Tween Hearts bids farewell with heartwarming finale

AFTER a total of 86 successful episodes aired during its run on GMA every Sunday afternoon, REEL LOVE presents TWEEN HEARTS, bids farewell to its loyal fans and viewers with an emotional but heartwarming finale episode on June 10.

Originally slated to air for just 8 episodes, the program, which launched the careers of the network’s Tween stars, was awarded several extensions after its successive victory on the ratings game. It remains to be the No. 1 and most preferred youth-oriented drama of the televiewer.

At present, the program continues to claim leadership in its timeslot according to data from the more widely recognized industry ratings supplier Nielsen TV Audience Measurement. Based on average households data in Urban Luzon covering the period February 19 to May 27, 2012 (based on overnight data), Tween Hearts registered 31.3 share points. It has continued its winning streak in Mega Manila, which now comprises 59 percent of total television households nationwide, after it garnered 31.7 share points against its rival progrm.

Aside from its high ratings performance, the show also catapulted the Tweens into stardom, with their massive fan base and widespread popularity stretching all over the country and at the same time, around the world. The Tweens – headlined by Barbie Forteza and Joshua Dionisio, Bea Binene and Jake Vargas together with Joyce Ching, Kristoffer Martin, Derek Monasterio, Kylie Padilla, Yassi Pressman, Ken Chan, Teejay Marquez, Kim Komatsu, Kiko Estrada, Hiro Magalona, Rhen Escaño, Therese Conde, Gabby Garcia and Louise De Los Reyes, Lexi Fernandez – have transformed into seasoned actors and actresses and are all set to showcase their talent and acting chops via new projects and TV endeavors.

From first loves to first heartbreaks, from ‘fitting in’ to peer pressure, from bullying to how broken marriage affects the teens, Tween Hearts’ universal theme for all ages transcended into tackling more complicated issues, complex character dynamics and exciting tandems that continuously hooked and charmed the Filipino viewers with each subsequent episodes.

In the last two episodes, the lives of Josh (Joshua) and Bambi (Barbie) will be put in jeopardy. Will they survive this unfortunate accident? Meanwhile, Bel (Bea) and Rick (Derek) will have a confrontation on the kiss that happened between them. Jacob will put an end to his friendship with Rick because of this incident. Will Aya (Joyce) and Kris (Kristoffer) find a way to patch up things between Jacob and Rick?

Viewers must also await whether or not Josh will finally leave Bambi and put their friendship to rest or will Jacob (Jake) and Belinda settle their differences and kiss and make up. Witness too, if Jacob, Rick, Belinda and Heidi (Kylie) will resolve their conflicts and find it in their hearts to forgive one another. With bonds they have built, will the barkada’s friendship last until forever?

Catch the finale episode of Reel Love presents Tween Hearts: Friends Forever on June 10 only on GMA.

***

Lady politician sa kilalang angkan ng super K!

HAHAHAHA! Kaaning naman ang naging experience ng mga entertainment writer sa kamay ng isang lady politician na galing sa isang well-respected political clan.

Imagine, super excited silang pumayag nang may mag-invite sa kanilang dumalaw sa probinsiya nito from the north.
Alam kasi nilang magwawagi sila at uuwing nakangiti. Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, to make a long story short, tour galore ang grupo sa mga scenic spots roon na talaga namang breath-ta-king ang dating.

On top of that, hotel-hopping rin sila kaya pregnant with the thought na ang grupo na the moment that episode was over, they would go home richer by a couple of thousands of pesos.

Three nights and four days ba naman silang nagpakapagod na pagbigyan ang kagustuhan ng lady politician na bisitahin ang probinsiya nito at nang maisulat nila in full regalia?

In full regalia raw, o! Hahahahaha!

Anyhow, palipat-lipat sila ng lugar at katakot-takot na hotel-hopping ang ginawa ng grupo until it was time for them to leave and go back to Manila.

Nagkatinginan daw ang grupo ng magbabu na lang nang ganun-ganon lang ang sosyalada at esekolang lady politician without the giving them the moolah that they were hankering for and had envisioned earlier. Hahahahahahahaha!

In short, Lou Bonnevie ang grupo at umuwi silang nanlalata at walang kibuan all the way to Manila. Hahahaha!

Multi-millionaire raw ang lady politician pero nat-maku at lang-magu!

Hakhakhak!

‘Yun na!

Ayokooooooh! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Hindi na siguro nararapat pang pagkumparahin sina Vilma at Nora

TIME and again, we would receive some text messages comparing Queenstar Vilma Santos’ admittedly awesome accomplishments to that of Superstar Nora Aunor’s supposedly formidable credentials.

Siguro naman, at this point, comparison would be most odious and unfair, if not totally immaterial altogether.

Magalit at magtampo man sa akin ang mga Noranians, I would say with full objectivity that in their long drawn- out race for box-office supremacy, it’s Queen Vi who’s been able to emerge palpably victorious.

I need not emphasize the obvious.

The 70s and part of the 80s truly belongs to Ms. Nora Aunor. But from the late 70s up to the present, it’s queen Vi all the way.

Kumbaga, masyado kasing nadala ng kanyang phenomenal fame si La Aunor, nawala tuloy ang kanyang sense of objectivity at somewhere along the way, has become ignominiously complacent.

Kahit nga sa politics ay nag-attempt din siya but her lackadaisical attitude, along with her delusions has proved to be her own undoings.

What a waste and how veritably pathetic!

Kita n’yo naman, 2012 na, humahataw pa rin si Ate Vi at katatapos lang niyang gawin ang thriller na The Healing under Star Cinema with Kim Chiu, and by Thursday, may grand presscon ang bago niyang endorsement sa isang pabolosang hotel in Makati no less.

Pa’no kasi, intact pa rin ang kanyang credibility and her life has become ideal and exemplary.

One thing that cannot be said about Nora who’s life has palpably remained tumultuous as ever.

Well, I can say more than a mouthful but I’d rather not, lest I offend the Noranians all the more.

Kaya tama na ang mga walang kawawaang awayan at intrigang ‘yan.

The battle for box-office supremacy is over and the crown is now being rightfully held by the Queenstar for all Seasons Ms. Vilma Santos Recto.

Bow!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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