Nahambal ang claving na entertainer sa kabadingan ng hunk na personalidad!

HAHAHAHAHA! How so amusing naman this story about this balding gay performer’s encounter with this hunky TV personality in one show where both of them are appearing in. Hahahahahahaha!

Nang ma-sight daw ng claving ang tall, fair and handsome personality, inatake na naman daw ito ng kakatihan.

Hakhakhak!

Dahil sana’y namang mag-flirt sa mga ombres na habitues sa mga kinakantahan niyang sing-along bars, excited at pretty titillated daw na in-approach ng kirikay na claving ang ombreng-ombreng paparu.
Hahahahaha!

You could just imagine how he shocked he was when the hunky guy suddenly brushed him off and gave him a biting line or two to purportedly lay his filthy hands off him. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Halos atakehin daw sa puso ang gandarang vaklita dahil sa kabarubalang asal ng mahadera palang personalidad in person.

Sa totoo, the gay impersonator was not prepared for that kind of cavalier reaction coming from the good-looking personality, he almost had a heart attack. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sayang na kagwapuhan. Maricona pala ang hitad at obvious na diring-diri sa mga ladladerang bakla. Hahahahaha!

From then on, pinakaiwasan na ng nasabing gay performer ang papang-papa at obvious na Dakila Castro pa naman ang arrive na teevee host.

Hakhakhak!

Akala ko ba it takes one to know one?

How come his ESP didn’t pick-up the overt signal that the young man he was flirting with happens to be a closet queen as well? Hakhakhak!

Que barbaridad! Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Edilson Nascimento, once more with feeling!

EDILSON Nascimento was born on April 1, 1986 in the northeastern state of Paraíba, Brazil. At age 16, Edilson took his first steps as a model during Paraíba Fashion Week, earning ENORMOUS praise from the media. Edílson became an overnight sensation on the internet and was soon spotted by professional photographers and modeling agencies in the United States, including the Steven Klein Studio and Major Model Management, who immediately recognized his potential and invited him to New York in February 2008. He signed with Major Model Management and has since signed with Vision Model Management in Los Angeles. He is currently working in the United States.

Superfab, di ba naman? Hakhakhak!

Look at his trobbing succulence, does he excite you well? Hahahahahaha!

As always, bawal ang magtikol! Hakhakhak!

***

Umakyat from P2.16 billion to the staggering P4.14 billion ang net loss ng TV5!

GRABE as in supercagifragilistic expialidocious ang pagkalugi ng network ni Mr. Manny Pangilinan.

Nu’ng magsimula raw ang network wayback in the year 2010, mula sa P2.16 billion, its net loss has skyrocketed to a staggering P4.14 billion.

Ito’y based sa financial statement ng ABC Development corporation, ang parent company ng TV5.

Anyhow, kaya raw nagkaroon ng merger ang TV5 at GMA7 ay dahil sa hangad ni Mr. Pangilinan na tapatan ang ABS CBN na mayrong P2.4 billion net income noong 2011.

Sang-ayon sa nasabing financial report, tumaas rin ang pagkakautang ng TV5 mula sa P2.52 billion noong 2010 to a whopping P6.45 billion for the year 2011 dahil na rin supposedly sa kanilang equipment upgrades.

Oh, well, part of the company’s gigantic losses can be largely attributed to its wrong decisions in hiring new talents like the has-been Ferminata whose Juicy has been making a terrible dent in the company’s finances.

For some reasons, sobra ang lakas ng ngangaerang oldies kaya hindi siya tinitigok kahit na hindi income-generating ang show nitong Juiceless since Lola Fermi took over.

Ang nakaaaning pa, patuloy pa rin ang pagrereyna ng inaamag na ang hosting skills na ranggulites (inaamag na raw ang hosting skills, o! Hakhakhak! Syoraketch!) mereseng below sea level (below sea level raw, o! Hahaha!) ang ratings nito kaya nagdesisyon na ang network na ilagay (permanently I suppose …Hakhakhak!) sa graveyard shift. Hahahahahahaha!

Que pobrecita! Hakhakhak!

Dapat lang, noh?

Sa Juiceless pa rin, nangbi-brainwash na naman si Lola Fermi through her battery of PRs na para mag-rate raw ito, dapat itong ilagay sa mas maagang slot para mas marami ang nakapanood. Hahahahahahaha!
Idiotang matanda! Hindi ang programa ang may problema, lola.

Ikaw ang problema dahil pinandidirihan ka na ng televiewers for the simple reason na nakasusulasok (hayan gurangga, ha? salitang-ugat ang inuulit, tonta! Hahahahahahaha!) ang iyong itzu (sooo gurang and soo taba! Hahahahaha!) at panahon pa ni Mahoma ang iyong hosting style.

Hahahahahahaha!

Holding on pa rin kasi sa kanyang posisyon when she’s no longer suited to host such kind of show that needs dynamic hosts. Hahahahahahahaha!

Okay lang naman kasi kung matanda ka na as long as the young pulsating blood still throbs in your system.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Sa totoo, mas makabago pa sa ‘yo ang namayapa ng si Tita Dely Magpayo. Harharharharhar!

Nakahihiya! (Take note, guranggita! for the umpteenth time – ang salitang ugat ang inuulit! Hakhakhak!)

Babutsh!

***

Fully recovered & raring to work!

NAG-REPORT na si Governor Vilma Santos-Recto sa kanyang gubernatorial office sa Batangas last Monday with that stock-in-trade sweet smile plastered on her comely face.

As always, she joined the officials and employees of the Provincial Government of Batangas during the Monday flag ceremony.

She also vivaciously greeted their guests, particularly the Ala Eh festival 2012 participants.

After which, she handed over Certificates of Appreciation to them and met with them much later on at the mansion to express her personal thanks.

On Ate Vi still, she is the lone female national finalist in the Civil Service Commission’s Presidential Lingkod Bayan Award under the 2012 Search for Outstanding Officials & Employees.

Excited din ang multi-awarded actress sa nalalapit na pagpapalabas ng kanyang Star Cinema suspense thriller na The Healing kung saan kasama niya ang young actress na si Kim Chiu, Janice de Belen, Pokwang, Martin del Rosario, Daria Ramirez, among many others.

Under the direction of the multi-awarded director Chito S. Rono, Ate Vi is excited in this movie since, apart from having Direk Chito as director, this is the first time that she’s starring in a suspense thriller with a young actress like Kim as co-star.

So far, Star Cinema’s asking for her availability for the movie’s dubbing sessions, pictorials, and approval of promo scheds.

***

Magtinikling ka raw sa ere para patawarin ka ni Ara Tinang!

NAKAAANING naman ang reaction ni Cristine Reyes nang mag-guest sa The Buzz last Sunday.

Hitsurang parang lumalabas lang sa kanyang bibig ang mga salitang binibitawan niya without having to consider its essence really.

Hahahahahahaha!

Honestly, she looks catatonic and devoid of any sincerity and seems to be mouthing lines she had assiduously rehearsed but without giving the right shade of emotion to them.

Kaya siguro siya nangayayat ay dahil sa takot siyang matigbakers ang kanyang showbiz career na nagti-take-off na sana at blockbuster ngang lumabas ang kanyang last movie with the enigmatic Anne Curtis sa Star Cinema. Hahahahaha!

Honestly, ‘yan ang kanyang greatest fear kaya napilitan siyang mag-issue ng public apology without meaning it.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Hay, naku, hija, kung ganyan ka nang ganyan, sa halip na ma-touch ang iyong sister na si Ara ay mukhang lalo lang itong naiimbiyerna dahil ham actress ka nang mag-emote last Sunday considering na mahusay ka namang aktres. Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yan ang problema kung hindi ka naman seryoso sa ‘yong mga pinagsasasabi at ginagawa mo lang ‘yun dahil napilitan ka lang. Hahahahahahaha!

Say ng mga okrayista, magtinikling ka raw sa ere, ining, para patawarin ka ng iyong ate Ara.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ka-amuse ever. Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Bongga ang mga kaganapan sa finale ng Mundo Man Ay Magunaw!

SA WEDNESDAY na pala ang last taping day raw ng blockbuster na afternoon soap (Mundo Man Ay Magunaw) ng ABS-CBN. Siyempre pa, super excited ang buong tropa (Eula Valdez, Tessie Tomas, Ejay FLCON, Emilio Garcia, Nikki Gil at Empress, among many others) dahil puro highlights ang kukunan sa location shoot nila somewhere in Antipolo.

Sabi nga ng in charge sa production na si JC Bagio, ikagugulat daw namin ang mga mangyayari sa kanilang shooting finale, it’s of vital importance that we should be there to witness the final unfolding of some scenes that we’ll positively find ultra-riveting and emotinally draining but highly interesting.

Sosyal!

Nevertheless, mapanonood n’yo pa rin ito right after It’s Showtime up to the first week of July.

Ultimately tragic kaya ang ending ng character ni Ms. Eula Valdez o baka naman positibo naman dahil marami na naman siyang traumang napagdaanan?

‘Yun na!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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