Size ng sex organ ng mga lalaking na-link sa kanya ang ikinahambal ni Ruffa G.! (Hahahahaha)

HAHAHAHAHA! Masyadong personal pala ang katanungang ibinulong kay Ms. Ruffa Gutierrez kaya nahambal ito at nagdesisyong mag-resign na lang sa showbiz-oriented talk show ng TV5.

Naibulong daw kasi ni Mr. Fu kung sino ang pinaka-well endowed sa mga lakaking na-link sa rating Ms. World beauty. Hahahahahahaha!

Not that she’s supposedly acting like a prude but topics such as this should be talked about or discussed in private and between intimate friends only.

Never naman daw kasing naging that close si Ms. Ruffa with Mr. Fu kaya she found the question outright abrasively offensive and horribly in bad taste.

In fairness naman daw kay Mr. Fu, he only did what was expected of him in connection with his work as one of Paparazzi’s hosts.

Nothing personal, so to speak.

Anyhow, sa isyung lilipat na raw si Ruffa sa rival showbiz-oriented program na The Buzz, an ABS-CBN executive told us authoritatively that it’s not highly probable since Ms. Ruffa’s still under contract with TV5.

Kung nag-expire na raw sana ang kontrata nito, that’s a highly possible alternative then.

Ang kaso, very much existing and airtight nga ang kontrata ni Ms. Ruffa sa nasabing network kaya this lipatan ng network issue is a remote possibility.

‘Yun na!

***

Ryan Bertroche’s esoteric appeal!

HE is ethereally handsome.

Angelic would perfectly describe the kind of handsomeness that this Iowa born hunk veritably exudes. Anyway, if your cup of coffee this morning is not doing the trick of waking you up, this superbly good-looking hottie with the best butt ever named Ryan Bertroche (Hahahahahaha!) surely would! Hahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal magtikol, bro! Hakhakhak!

***

Ferminata pailalim na namang kinakana si Alex Gonzaga!

O, ‘DI ba’t matindi talaga ang sama ng pag-uugali nang tsakang matronang si Ferminata?

Imagine, kinakana na naman daw nito nang patalikod ang orig na host ng Juicy na si Alex Gonzaga dahil tinamaan na naman ng insecurity ang gurang na bungalya dahil napag-alaman sa survey na wasang (wala) pa ring binatbat siya in as far as the televiewers’ opinions are concerned.

Hahahahahaha!

Meaning, Ferminatilya is a non-entity in as far as the masa’s perception is concerned. Hahahahahahaha!

Siyempre, they hanker for a host that’s not only pleasant-looking but innovative and jibing in with the ever changing times. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sino ba naman kasi ang magkakagusto sa isang gurangis na host na sooo laki pa ang tiyanetch and the panga is nagsa-sag na dahil sa combined effect ng old age at obesity? Hahahahahahaha!

Ang nakababaliw pa, ni hindi uubrang magsuot ng medyo arresting at sexy outfits ang tanderaketch na ‘to dahil soo laki nga ang kanyang tummy.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, dahil La Traidora nga, pailalim na palang kinakana na naman ng shrewd and wily as a snake na gurangga si Ms. Alex.

Dahil in bad taste na lalabas kung siya mismo ang bibira, palihim niyang ginagapang ang young teevee personality sa pamamagitan ng pag-uutos sa kanyang mga bayarang ‘alipores’ na kanain sa kani-kanilang columns ito.

Hahahahahahaha!

Ang kapal ng mukha, ‘di ba naman?

Hayan at si Ms. Alex ang orig na host ng show at kinuha lang siya ni Mr. Perci Intalan para gawing welcome addition rito pero feeling reyna nga ang matagal nang nalaos (Hahahahahahahaha! ngetpalites na nga, osla pa! Hahahahaha!) na TV personality kaya siya na lang halos ang may boses at pinatanggal talaga ang rating (I repeat, RATING, huh? Hahahahaha!) segments na nag-akyat ng ‘di biru-birong anda sa TV5 during our time tulad ng roleta ng intriga (intriga, ha? hindi intrega, lolang harbatera! Hakhakhak!), towel boys, among many others.

Honestly, nu’ng papaalis na kami nina Morly at Rey at hinayaang diskartehan ang show tulad nang una, tatlo o apat na ad placements ang pumasok pero biglang umeksena nga ang gurang na sentensiyada (sentensiyada raw, o! Hahahahaha!) kaya unti-unting nag-fade out ang mga commercials hanggang totally ay matigbak na nang tuluyan.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Natakot kasing baka biglang magbago ang isipan ng management kapag na-realize nilang may arrive pa ang triumvirate namin Wala biglang pumasok na mereseng in deep mourning pa raw kuno siya dahil sa pagkamatay ng kanyang ina (with a face like that, who would have the initiative to watch the show anyway?

Hahahahahahaha!).

Kaya hayan, Walang Tulugan na ang Juicy at madaling araw na ito pumapasok pero dahil sa nawala ang aliw factor, parang may ketong itong pinandidirihan ng mga commercials.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Good riddance, tsakang gurangga! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Full blast ang Star Cinema sa promo ng The Healing nina ate Vi at kim Chiu!

STAR Cinema’s not leaving any stone unturned in as far as the success of it’s soon to be released movie The Healing is concerned.

Ngayon palang ay pinaghahandaan na nila ang premiere night nito at showing on the 25th of July.

Kunsabagay, they have a veritable winner in this scary movie that’s being directed by the authority in this kind of movie, Direk Chito S. Roño.

This early, the dedicated Vilmanians all over the country are already devising of ways on how to make this movie a truly memorable one.

Sabi ni Bossing Roxy Liquigan, dapat daw talagang abangan ang confrontation at fight scenes rito nina Ms. Vilma Santos at Kim Chiu lalo na bandang hulihan ng pelikula.

According to some people who have seen its rushes, talaga raw matindi ang suspense element ng pelikula lalo na nga sa mga scenes sa pagitan nina Ate Vi at Kim Chiu.

Commendable rin daw ang cinematography dahil capture na capture ang eerie ambiance ng movie.

Looking back, Queen Vi was able to do movies along this genre in the past but she considers The Healing to be different and unique in the sense that The Master is at the helm and at work.

Well, ang masasabi ko lang, if it’s from Star Cinema, it must be fabulously good and worth the long wait.

Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Kulang ng sincerity!

NAGKAROON ng special interview sa The Buzz last Sunday si Cristine Reyes at right then and there ay nag-apologize siya sa older sis niyang si Ara Mina.

Honestly, she’s veritably haggard-looking with her eye-bags too pronounced and perpetually ubiquitous.

‘Yun nga lang, parang wanting of sincerity naman siya at mukhang napilitan lang out of necessity.

Out of necessity raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!

Syokoters na siguro si Tinay dahil apektado na nang husto ang kanyang showbiz career dahil sa kabalahuraang ginawa niya sa kanyang Ate Ara Mina at nanay niya. Hahahahahahaha!

Ang bad karma…bow!

Anyway, she looks palpably haggard and almost emaciated.

Kay liliit na ng kanyang mga hita’t braso at mga binti at nawalan na ng pep ang kanyang aura.

Ang tawag diyan ay bad karma.

Magtinu-tino kasi, noh? Maswerte ka nga’t binigyan ka ng pabolosang career ng Diyos pero ang siste’y naging super ilu ka!

Magbago na, ning, before it’s veritably too late!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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