Ang laki na ng puson at peke na ang mga alahas!

DATI-RATI, pinagtatawanan ng mahusay na aktres na ‘to ang isang contemporary niyang aktres dahil sa nagkaedad daw itong wala man lang nai-save ni konti sa kayamanang tinamasa nito during her heyday as an actress.

Siya kasi ay loaded during that time at blooming pa rin ang showbiz career.

But love has proved to be her own undoing.

Nagsimula ang kanyang misfortune nang ma-in-love sa isang out of showbiz na negosyante.

Biglang-bigla, nagbago ang kanyang mundo. She tried to keep up with the frenetic activities of the new man in her life to the point that she learned how to imbibe some intoxicating beverages and would even stay up late in some up-all-night bars that was the fave watering hole of her new man.

Hopelessly in love, she even gamely took some drugs just to fit in to her new man’s debased world.

Today, she is devoid of any emotional involvement and is morose most of the time.

Kung dati-rati’y the life of the party ang drama niya, ngayo’y tahimik lang siya pala-palagi at parang perennially ay in deep thought.

To be honest about it, ganon na lang ang gulat ni Peter L. nang makita niya in person sa lamay ng isang pinagpipitaganang personanalidad ang dati-rati’y glamorosa at dressed to the nines na aktres looking dowdy and matronly.

“Parang ‘di na siya confident at mailap sa mga tao,” Peter L. opines. “Malaki na rin ang kanyang puson at di na tucked-in tulad nang dati.

“Honestly, parang di na sila nagkakalayo ni____________(name of the actress who happens to be her archrival and contemporary),” he further asseverates. “‘Yan kasi, mahilig siyang manglait sa mga taong di raw nag-ipon kaya naghihirap.

“Sa hitsura niya ngayon, bakas na bakas na ang kanyang paghirap.”

Korek! Kung kani-kanino na nga lang daw ito nakikisakay dahil wishing it was you na ang expensive makes ng car na dati-rati’y kanyang pride and joy.

Doon nga sa hospital kung saan matagal na nag-stay ang dakilang personalidad, talagang sa likuran siya nagdaraan dahil nahihiya sigurong makita siyang nagta-taxi na lang ng mga tao.

How pathetic!

‘Yang drugs talaga ay walang naidudulot na kabutihan sa isang tao.

Let this be an eye-opener to everyone.

What the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh!

Kaya dapat ay pahalagahan natin ang anomang biyayang nanggagaling sa Kanya dahil kapag tayo’y nagmalabis, we can lose everything in a wink of an eye.

***

Philip Fusco, everyone’s fantasy!

HE’S young, only 21 years of age and a most promising American male model to boot.

Philip Fusco is not at all particular with the kind of outfit that he’d be wearing for a particular photo shoot as long as he gets paid handsomely. Hahahahahaha!

It’s a job and he’s most professional in dealing with it.

Laban ka? Hahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal magtikol!

***

Maxene Magalona fights custody of kids with Marc Abaya

MAS matitinding komprontasyon ang dapat abangan ng mga manonood sa afternoon drama na Faithfully matapos madiskubre ni Maxene Magalona ang babaeng kinalolokohan ng kanyang asawa.

Lalong umiinit ang mga eksena ngayong Linggo dahil nadiskubre na ni Stella (Maxene) na si Luchie (Michelle Madrigal), ang kanyang matalik na kaibigan, ang kabit ni Kevin (Marc Abaya). Guguho ang mundo ni Stella at hindi makapaniwala sa ginawang pagtataksil nina Kevin at Luchie.

Hihingi ng tawad si Luchie kay Stella pero hindi ito papatawarin ni Stella. Masakit sa kanya ang ginawa ng matalik na kaibigan. Sa tindi ng kanyang galit, pilit kukuhanin ni Stella ang kanyang mga anak sa mansion ng kanyang biyenan na si Amanda (Chanda Romero). Magtagumpay kaya si Stella sa planong pagkuha sa kanyang mga anak o magpapadala siya sa takot kay Amanda?

Samantala, madidiskubre ni Stella ninakaw ni Kevin ang minana niya sa kanyang namatay na lola. Magsasampa ng kaso si Stella laban kay Kevin at may nakuhang katibayan ang kanyang amang si Fidel. Magtagumpay kaya si Stella na ipakulong si Kevin bago ito makalabas ng bansa kasama si Luchie? Matatakasan ba ni Kevin si Stella?

Mapanonood ang Faithfully Lunes hanggang Biyernes pagkatapos ng Kasalanan Bang Ibigin Ka? sa GMA Afternoon Prime.

***

Superb ang response sa morning soap nina Papa Chen at Jodi!

SHOCKED ang ABS-CBN sa terrific response sa soap nina Papa Chen (Richard Yap in real life) at Ms. Jodi Sta. Maria na “Be Careful With My Heart.”

Superfab kasi ang response rito at umaapaw talaga ang ad placements considering na patay ang ganitong oras kaya pinakaiiwasan ng mga ad men.

Not in the case of Be Careful With My Heart though. Talagang super hot ang reception dito at marami ang naniniwalang maraming factors ang nagtutulung-tulong kaya bongga ang reception dito.

In a way, it’s the story and the commendable performances of the protagonists in the soap that make a lot of difference.

Mother role na ba naman si Aiza Seguerra (carry n’yo ‘yan? Hahahahahaha!), di ka ba maiintriga?

On top of that, naka-i-in love ang tambalan nina Papa Chen at Ms. Jodi na alam nating may kanya-kanyang involvement in real life pero kinagat talaga ng mga tao dahil may kilig ang kanilang tambalan.

Hindi man sila available for this emotional involvement thing off-cam but they have this electrifying presence that will make you fantasize about a possible intimate relationship. Hahahahahaha!

Machung-macho nga naman si Papa Chen at debonair-looking considering that he started out in that famed noodle commercial more than a year ago.

Mapanonood nga pala ang Be Careful With My Heart bago mag-It’s Showtime sa ABS-CBN naturalmente!

***

Vavalina pantasyadorang talaga!

AYAW manahimik nitong si Joey ‘Vavalina’ de Cashtrue, the smelly old hag of a fag who is perpetually in search of a dick to fellate but to no avail. Hahahahahahaha!

With a diabolical face like that, who would have the bravura to allow the demonic fag to touch them, much more have him fellate their dicks? Hakhakhak!

Kasuka!

Anyway, the halitosis infested fag palpably craves for attention so we’re giving him what he’s hankering for.

Already in his late 60s, this malnourished crabby-looking fag still craves for attention.

Matagal na kasi siyang osla, (no sane entertainment ed would touch him with a ten-foot pole…Hahahahaha!) kaya nagpipilit talagang mapansin at makaeksena ang hinayupak na supot na baklang gurang na halimaw na ‘to.

Jesus H. Christ! kung magsalita sa internet ay para bang he’s veritably well off and a grand dame of considerable wealth and connection but the truth is he’s poor as a rat.

No wonder, he palpably smells! Hahahahahahaha!

Di ba naman naghuhugas ng keps (di raw naghuhugas ng keps, o! Hakhakhak!) kaya punung-puno ng mga sapalic manifestations ang kanyang super dyuts (super dyuts raw, o! Hahahahahahaha! yuck!) na kepying.

Hahahahaha!

Nakaririmarim! (O, hayan, Bubonic, huh? salitang ugat ang inuulit, tonta! Hahahahahaha!)

Honestly, this miserable fag leads a horrific existence that’s why he’s almost emaciated and cadaver-like. Hahahahahahaha!

Up to now, di pa rin siya maka-move on sa pagpapalayas na ginawa namin sa kanya dahil baboy sa dilang baboy ang pag-uugali gayong I made him stay with Nong and I and the kids for 25 long years (off and on that is). I-wish ba namang mamatay na kami para ma-usurp niya ang aming trabaho, what would you feel?

Sa halip na ipagdasal ka para gumaling, lagi na’y nakaabang sa mga untoward incidents na mangyayari para siya na ang umeksena.

Ang kapal, di ba naman?

At ambisyoso! Hahahahahahaha!

Mukhang taringting (a tropical bird that’s known for its half-moon-shaped appearance..Hahahahahaha!) na nga, sooo itim pa the zingits and is burdado all over with triangular-shaped scars (da omen talaga, di ba naman?

Hahahahaha!)

Matuto ka kasing magdasal, taning. Sobrang baboy ka, pati ba naman ang anghel kong anak na si Christopher ay kung anu-ano ang kapraningan ang pinagsasasabi mo?

Wala kang galang sa mga taong namayapa na dahil di ka naman tao, baboy!

At any rate, I’m sure that you’ll simply conk out one of these days because you happen to be a bad seed, supot na nabahongang nanggigitatang ngetpalites na matanda. Hahahahahaha!

Period. Ayoko ng tsakaaaaah! Hahahahahaha!

***

Iba na ang level of confidence at intelligence ni Ate Vi!

SA PRESSCON ng The Healing (Star Cinema’s latest offering that’s slated to detonate in some giant cinemas all over the country oin July 25) na ginanap sa Dolphy Theatre the other day, halatang-halata ang intelligence at exalted level of confidence ni Ms. Vilma Santos side by side with her loaded and very articulate director Chito S. Roño.

It took years pala before the great director was able to find the right material for Ate Vi and when he did, it was definitely worth all the long wait.

Compared to the unique and mature material of The Healing, lumalabas na kid stuff na raw ang Feng Shui at Sukob.

Sosyal, di ba naman? Hahahahahahaha!

On the set, minsa’y nagpapakita ng temper si Direk Chito lalo na’t medyo may kakulitan ang kanyang mga artista but as a whole, it was a smooth-sailing ride all the way!

Nag-enjoy raw talaga nang husto si Ate Vi while the shooting of their film was in progress, nalungkot ito nang magtapos na ang kanilang pelikula dahil hindi na naman daw siya artista kundi back to the same old grind as a
politician.

Sabihin man kasing naging matagumpay ang kanyang episode bilang politiko, it’s an unassailable fact that Ms. Vilma Santos will always be known as an actress and only second as a politician.

***

Carmina’s time!

TAMANG-TAMA raw kay Carmina Villaroel ang titulo ng soap nila ni Zaijan Jaranilla na Lorenzo’s Time.

Palitan lang daw ng name ng teevee host/actress ang titulo nito, it fits to a T na sa asawa ni Zoren Legaspi.

True enough, bongga naman talaga ang participation nito sa nasabing soap at talagang very poignant and moving.

Kay Carmina pa rin, well rounded talaga ang personality nito dahil swak na swak din siya sa hosting as proven by the superfab reception sa kanilang Showbiz Inside Report nina Janice de Belen, Ogie Diaz at Joey Marquez.

One of the major reasons why their show is veritably well-followed and clicking is the chemistry that binds them together.

Walang sapawan ang show na ‘to at mahahalata mong may kanya-kanyang highlight ang bawat host nito.

Anyway, it gets aired every Saturday afternoon right after It’s Showtime.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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