Ayaw matulog ang gabi ni Vavalinang supot!

(YUCK, SO BAHOOOO!)

Hahahahahaha! How so kadiri naman this uly old fag of a goat named Joey ‘Vavaling’ de Cashtrue.

This emaciated fag never sleeps and seems to devote all of his (maybe for wanting of better things to do…Ha- Hahahahahaha!) at the net posting some repugnant concoctions about me. Hahahahahahaha!

Sa halip ba namang kung anu-anong kababuyan ang pinaggagawa mo ay natutulog ka naman para nagkalaman ka kahit konti, di umayos-ayos naman ang iyong yosi-kadiring itzu. Hahahahahahahaha!

I know that you’re inordinately hard-up because no one, not even your brothers and sisters who are all very well into their 70s, would welcome you at their abode simply because they know that you’re evil and diabolical. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ano man ang i-post mo riyan sa mga cheap na websites na ‘yan ay di naman ako apektado because people get to see me on national television often and they know that I look positively attractive and youthful. Hahahahaha!

Di ba tulad mong nanggigitata at wala nang makain kaya kung anu-ano na lang ang pinapantasya at kasinungalingang pinaggagagawa. Hahahahahahah! (Hayan, Ferminata, salitang ugat ang inuulit, tontita! Hahahaha!)

Instead of devoting all of your time concocting the most hideous things about me, why don’t you just look for a job so that you would have something to eat? Hahahahaha!

Para ka ng pulubi, baklang matandang halimaw, don’t you pity yourself? Hahahahaha!

Kung noong nakatira ka pa sa bahay namin and was busy devouring the fabulous gourmet food that I was cooking at the kitchen ay pinandidirihan ka na ng mga ombres minsang nag-soul-searching (Hahahahahahaha! may baboy palang may soul-searching eklaboom..Hakhakhak!) ka kuning-kuning sa Baguio at sa tindi ng iyong depression ay text to the max ka talaga up to the wee hours in the morning about your deep-seated disenchantment. Hahaha!

Well, sino ba naman kasing closet queen or bisexual for that matter, ang magkakainteres na maka-churvahan ka gayong you’re as ancient as the moon and the stars (ancient as the moon and the stars raw, o! Hahahahaha!) and not in the least bit pleasant to look at? Harharharharhar!

Kaya go ahead, Vavalinang half-moon ang maaskad na pagmumukha, (ayan, huh? I speak of the truth at hindi basta naninira lang tulad mo! Hahahahahaha!) siraan mo ako nang siraan sa mga cheap websites na ‘yan and continue to spew imagined filth about me, I don’t give a fucking hoot! Hakhakhak!

‘Yung tinitirhan mong que miserableng smelly kwarto-kwartito somewhere in San Mateo, Rizal ay bagay lang naman sa status mo bilang has-been na writer who does nothing but bask in past glories and do lots of reminiscing. Hahahahahaha!

Sabihin mo na ang pinaka-vile things about me and I won’t even care.

Kitang-kita naman sa hitsura nating dalawa, baklang halimaw, na ikaw ang miserable at nakaririmarim ang kapa-  ngitan at hindi ako. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

How could the public believe in the imagined filth that you’ve been attributing to me when they know that I’ve always been hardworking and not into that procurement business that you’ve been speaking ill about? Hahahahaha!

Yuck! Patuli ka muna, baklang halimaw, bago mag-imbento ng mga nakasusulasok (Hayan, Bubonic, huh? salitang ugat ang inuulit, lola Lukresya! Hahahahaha!) na bagay tungkol sa akin. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Halata namang ikaw ang miserable at wah kaon and not me! Hahahahahaha!
Sino naman kayang lalake ang magpapa-chupeta sa mukha mong parang nilubugan na ng araw at pag-asa? Hahahaha!

Honestly, I pity you because you’re already near the grave and yet you don’t have friends to keep you company and someone, like my Nong who’s so loving and caring and huge! (Hahahahahahaha!, carry mo ‘yan Vavaling?) to share your moments of depression and disenchantment.

***

Ate Vi’s the star of the hour!

KAHIT saan ka magbasa, laman ng mga dyaryo ang Queenstar for all seasons na si Ms. Vilma Santos.

Kaya for once, hayaan naman nating sila ang mag-highlight sa mga accomplishments ng Batangas lady governor at tahimik na lang muna kami.

Basta, honestly, we’re so very happy that Ate Vi has come to fulfill her fondest dream of doing a suspense/horror movie under Direk Chito S. Ronio’s awesome direction.

Knowing her, she has always craved for some new challenges in her career and doing Star Cinema’s The Healing has filled up the void.

Also, it must have been extra-fulfilling to be starring opposite the princess of drama Ms. Kim Chiu.

Aware naman kasi si Ate Vi how promising an actress Kim is and doing a movie with her at this time is something that she has always looked forward to and longingly wanted to do.

July 25 na nga pala ang showing ng The Healing at makaaasa kayong it’s one movie that’s worth watching for.

***

Charles Dera, unsung hero of porn!

HE is from Pennsylvania, a former Marine before he becomes a dancer/model/porno actor.

A Chippendale star dancer before he becomes a porno stud, Charless Dera has got no qualms in baring his machismo in the many porno movies that he’s made but he says that off-cam, he leads a fairly tranquil existence with no hanky panky dealings on the side.
Really? Is that sooooo? Hahahahahaha!

Sige! Sige raw talaga, o! Hahahahahaha!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hakhakhak!

***

Dapat ay huwag nang uratin ni Chito si Madam Annabelle!

CHITO Alcid is my friend specially so during our Erap Estrada days.

I do understand his predicament more so now that he was purportedly harassed by the feisty Madam Annabelle Rama at Tito Dolphy’s wake.

Not for anything, but I do believe that Chito should put a stop to his biting criticisms on Tita Annabelle if he wants absolute peace of mind.

I’ve known Madam Annabelle wayback the late 80s and I could say that she’s one person who’s innately good-natured, albeit a fiery warrior when provoked.

Hindi kasi showbiz si Tita A kaya naman ayaw niya ng mga bukekeng kaplastikan.
Kapag nakilala mo siya, di hamak na mas tao siya compared sa iba riyang mga santa-santita kuning-kuning ang drama.

It’s been almost three decades already and yet I still vividly remember how she came into Christopher’s birthday and mine, too, with Ruffa Gutierrez in tow, in the faraway Novaliches.

Ganyan siya kabait makisama kaya di ko nakalilimutan ito.

Tulad ko, di niya feel ang mga bolahan at charingan dahil totoo siyang tao.

Misunderstood nga siguro but I like her a lot and the feeling appears to be mutual although we are not the kind who would frequently hang-out together chatting the night away.

Honestly, bibihira ang totoong tao sa industriya and I would say na isa si Tita A. sa mga ‘yon.

***

Pag-tripan man nila si Sam Pinto, butata silang lahat!

Hahahahaha! Matagal nang natapos ang ballot counting sa FHM’s Sexiest 2012 kung saan si Sam Pinto nga ang nanalo pero ayaw pa ring tumigil sa kangangawngaw ang mga talunan. Hahaha!

Honestly, useless na ang mga bukeke ninyo dahil legal naman ang pagkakapanalo ng alaga ni Ms. Claire sa nasabing titulo at di naman dinaan sa ballot switching or anything like that.

Aminin na kasing kinareer ng magandang mainstay ng Bubble Gang ang popularity contest ng FHM at magaling siyang dumiskarte kaya win siyang bigla.

But contrary to other people’s belief that it was an easy victory, that was not the case.

Angel Locsin ahd her adoring minions did give Sam a good fight.

‘Yun nga lang, mas desidido ang kampo ng alaga ni Ms. Claire kaya sila ang nanalo pero very small ang margin of winning ni Sam.

Almost a hundred grand lang yata, if I’m not mistaken.

Kaya ‘yung mga sour-graping ngawngaweras riyan, ma’no ngang manahimik na kayong lahat!

The die is cast and Sam’s the rightful winner.

Period. Ayoko ng tsakaaaaaaaah! Hahahahahaha!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

loading...

About accounting

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply