‘Di na hunk ang dating!

KUNG sina Cesar Montano at Gabby Concepcion ay talaga namang hunk na hunk pa rin ang dating and the years seem to have made them all the more appealingly macho, mukhang pinaglaruan nang panahon ang brown machismo ng dating bold actor na ‘to.

Jesus H. Christ! wala ni bakas ng dati niyang Pinoy good looks sa ngayon and his mane of lustrous hair appears to have fallen out and is now palpably thinning and devoid of any health. Hahahahahaha!

Even the way he’s dressing up is repugnantly cheap and devoid of any style or glamor.

Kunsabagay, hindi naman talaga fashion plate kahit kailan ang aktor na ‘to na nagpakita ng tarugs (Hahahaha!) sa kanyang experimental movie an aeon ago.

Sadly though, with the way he looks right now, no fag would be of modicum interest to see that the limp thing dangles listlessly in between his legs. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ayoko namang maging out and out uncouth but the man is positively a goner at the looks department.

Walang-wala siya sa papable aura pa rin nina Gabby Concepcion at Cesar M., o ni Gardo Verzosa kaya.

Hahahaha!

Dapat siguro’y putulan na niya ang kanyang thinning mop of hair dahil nakahahabag lalo siyang tingnan.

Ora mismo! (Ora mismo raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!)

Care to ride on my boat, man? Hakhakhak!

‘Yun na!

***

Richie Nuzzolese appetizing!

HE STARTED out as a model for undies for men and is now a recognized actor in some hot video movies.

His name is Richie Nuzzoleze (what a unique name indeed!) and he is touted to be one of the hottest video actors pretty soon.

Only 21, he dreams of becoming a legit actor in the lofty mold of Silvester Stallone.

Look at his body somewhere in this spread, isn’t he simply adorable? Hahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal ang magtikol! Hahahahahaha!

***

Super happy si Nikki dahil back in the country na ang daks niyang papa

HAHAHAHAHA! From ear-to-ear ang pagkakangiti ni Nikki Gil nang makasabay namin sa elevator on our way to the presscon venue of Mundo Man ay Magunaw that’s penned no less than by the former king of AM radio in Bicol Mr. Salvador Royales.

Anyhow, kaya naman pala smile galore si Nikki dahil back in our country na naman daw ang papa niyang si Billie Crawford after his brief jaunt in Europe in quest of his aborted stardom in that country.

Dahil naakyat na kami sa presscon proper, ‘di namin na-follow-up ang anak ni Olivia (Eula Valdez) sa top-rating soap ng ABS CBN.

At any rate, dahil ang ganda ng working experience ng tropa sa kanilang soap, everybody was practically despondent and emotional.

Si Ms. Tessie Tomas na lang ay melting with gratitude talaga dahil sa break na ibinigay sa kanya ng nasabing soap. “Di naman talaga ako madalas mabigyan ng ganitong role sa isang soap opera kaya pinagbuti kong talaga,” she asseverates. “Nakatulong din ‘yung magandang samahan namin sa set para lalong mapagbuti namin ang pagganap.

“Di na lang kasi basta trabaho ito,” she adds somewhat sad that their soap is about to reach its abysmal end.

“Kasama na ang puso dahil matindi nga ang naging bonding namin habang ginagawa ito.”

Oo nga naman.

Anyway, with Nikki, this is a break of a lifetime since the soap has exploited her dormant acting talents.

“Believe it or not,” she admonishes, “marami-rami na rin po akong soap na nagawa pero wala lang.

“Hindi talaga nagmarka. Tuod po kasi ako roon,” she adds joking.

But the soap Mundo Man Ay Magunaw has exploited her dormant acting skills to the fore.

“Sayang nga lang at na-abort kaagad ‘yung katarayan ng role,” she says kind of in a jocular mood.”Maganda na  sana at challenging but halfway, bumait na kaya nabitin ako. I would have wanted to play the role of a bitch to the max.”

Anyway, now that ABS-CBN has been given a sample of the things that she can do, we’re positive na more meaty and juicy roles will be coming her way.

Pakatutukan lang po ang mga bonggang kaganapan sa pagtatapos ng top-rating afternoon soap (it gets aired right after It’s Showtime) na Mundo Man Ay Magunaw. It’s a gem of a soap one should not miss specially its riveting ending.

***

Iresponsableng talaga!

APART from being an absentee mother, (which, in a way, could be blamed to her utterly hectic working sched at the height of her fame) this once very popular actress can safely be considered as half-uncaring and very much indifferent of her maternal responsibilities to her children.

Imagine, ‘yung ‘eldest’ pala niya’y hindi naman nairehistro kaya walang record sa NSO. Hahahahahahahaha!

Nitong magkalkal ng kanyang mga papeles ang anak ng aktres, shakira siya dahil wala namang existing record ang kanyang pangalan sa national statistics office. Hahahahahahahaha!

Hindi naman pala officially nairehistro ang kanyang adopted daughter kaya ang ginagamit na nito sa ngayon ay ang kanyang totoong pangalan na galing talaga sa kanyang maternal mom.

Nakatatawa talaga (o, Ferminatang lukresya, salitang ugat ang inuulit, lolaski..utang na boot! Hahahahaha!) ang mga eksena ng babaeng ito. Imagine, all the while, her daughter was of the belief that she was legally adopted, only to find out that no such record exists.

Kunsabagay, what would you expect from a scatter-brained woman who lives in the perpetual delusions that her legendary fame would last more than a lifetime. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Okray talaga!

***

Impressive talaga!

THIS early, sandamakmak na ang pumupuri sa trailer palang ng Star Cinema movie na The Healing nina Governor Vilma Santos at Kim Chiu.

Para raw kasi itong Italian movie na kakaiba talaga ang ambience ng pelikula.

Sa trailer palang, may haunting quality na ito that’s by far a lot different from the usual run-of-the-mill movie that we are inundated with lately.

Idagdag mo pa ang acting eloquence nina Ate Vi at Kim and you really have a good movie to look forward to.

Sa totoo lang, kakaiba talaga ang texture ng pelikula and credit should be given to Direk Chito S. Roño who’s the man behind it all.

Kaabang-abang daw talaga ang confrontation scene nina Ate Vi at Kim sa bandang hulihan ng pelikula.

It’s not only hair-raising but deeply penetrating your psyche as well.

Swerte talaga ng Star Cinema to be having a most competent director, along with two of the finest actresses that Philippine cinema has ever produced.

They might be generations apart, but good acting has got no boundaries. At one point, may chemistry talaga ang dalawang aktres dahil they know what they are doing and are professional enough not to resort to upstaging each other but are more in tuned with this thing called ensemble acting.

‘Yan siguro ang magic ng tandem nina Kim at Ate Vi. Just one look at each other and they know what Direk Chito expects from them, along with the kind of approach that must be done.

Pakaabangan nga pala ang The Healing in cinemas near you on July 25. It’s another master piece of the undis- puted master of horror and suspence ladened movies, Direk Chito S. Roño.

Ang sabi nga niyan, if its from Star Cinema, it must be terrifically good!

***

Practice what you preach Ferminata!

HAHAHAHAHA! How so funny talaga this bungalic (bungalic daw talaga, o! Hakhakhak! how gross!) lola who’s the paradigm of orocanic (orocanic daw talaga, o! Hahahahahahaha!) plasticity.

Honestly, Lola Fermi is the kind who never practices what she loftily preaches. Hakhakhak!

Kunwa-kunwari ay she means well sa mga banat na ginagawa niya almost on a daily basis kay Ms. Ruffa Gutierrez na pinalalabas niyang oozing with insecurity raw sa beauty at intelligence ni Ms. Mariel Rodriguez, pero saan ka, gusto talaga niyang kanain ang panganay ni Madam Annabelle. Hahahahahahahaha!

The truth of the matter is she’s (orocanic Fermi..Hahahahahaha!) the one who’s inordinately insecure with Ms. Ruffa’s overpowering intelligence and global beauty and sex appeal. Hahahahahaha!

Pa’no ka nga naman makae-eksena sa isang maganda at intelehenteng babae gayung alam mong you’re very much wanting at the department she palpably excels at? Hahahahahahahaha!

Kunu-kuno ay pinalalabas niyang super inse raw kasi si Ms. Ruffa sa capabilities ni Mariel Rodriguez kaya gumawa na lang ito ng petty excuses para maeskiyerda sa Parazzi tienes. Hakhakhak!

Ang totoo niyan, siya ang tremendously insecure sa sophistication at unfading beauty ng personalidad who’s spearheading the Roof-a-child Foundation that intends to provide shelter for disadvantaged kids coming from abusive homes, abandoned by their parents, or afflicted with disabilities.

It also aims to equip the youth with tools that they need for holistic development through educational, athle- tic, and cultural means.

Anyhow, instead na mang-intriga ka, Lola Fermi, at mainggit sa mga lofty achievements at accomplishments ni Ms. Ruffa, why don’t you just focus on your harbatic episodes and be a zillion times richer? Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun lang!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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