Ferminata ‘di naman pala kakapalan ang pagmumukha!

HAHAHAHAHA! Nahiya na yata sa kapal ng kanilang pagmumukha kaya wah na sa pagka-feel mag-sing ng mga alipores ni Lola Fermi sa kanilang rating-less na radio program. hahahahahaha!

Sino ba naman kasi ang magtitiyagang makinig sa radio show na puro batian lang naman ng mga taong nadedenggoy nilang magbigay ng mga products tulad ng peanut butter, among other things? Hahahahahaha!

Ever since, Ferminata Lumba-lumba has always believed that people would tune in to their radio program just to hear them wail like banshees. Hahahahahahaha!

Wail like banshees raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

Walang takot talaga ang guranggetch na ito na sayangin ang airtime ng network sa walang kawawaang batian portion nila na ‘yun at ang nakatatawa, ‘yon at ‘yon din naman ang mga taong binabati almost on a daily basis. Hahahahahaha!

Ang nakababaliw pa, (hayan Ferminata, ha? salitang ugat ang inuulit, lola! Hakhakhak!) feel na feel magpaka-diva ni Nganga gayung wala naman siyang talent sa departamentong ito. Hakhakhak!

Ang nakatatawa, may nagtext sa amin the other day na wala raw roll call si Lola Fermi nang magsimula ang kanilang supper cheap na radio program a day or two ago. Hahahahaha!

Feeling siguro ng guranggetch na ‘to, her off-key singing would more than suffice to keep their listeners entertained. Hahahahahahahaha!

How presumptuous can you get! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, like I said, apart from the highly nauseating batian portion, sing-along pa rin sila before with the songs that they get to play.

As if naman they have golden voices like Ms. Nora Aunor.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Cheap!

Hay, naku! magnganga ka na lang, Lola Fermi, baka kumita ka pa. Hakhakhak!

Baka kumita pa raw, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, it was a good thing that Lola Fermi’s cohorts have come to realize their follies and are now aware of the fact that they don’t sound in the least bit harmonious on the air, they have steadfastly refused to sing-along with the golden buddha (golden buddha raw, o! Hahahahaha!) no matter how she prods them to do so.

Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Ina muna bago ang lahat!

‘DI NAKASIPOT si Governor Vilma Santos Recto sa block screening ng pelikula niyang The Healing last Thursday evening na in-arrange ng kanyang mga fans sa Cinema 2 ng Trinoma mall.

Bagama’t disappointed, naunawaan naman nilang higit na kailangan ang actress/politician ng kanyang anak na si Luis Manzano na off and on ang fever kaya sinugod na sa ospital dahil nagha-hyperventilate.

Minsan pa, pinatunayan ni Ate Vi na she’s a mother first before being an actress or a politician.

How veritably nice and comforting to know that she knows how to prioritize every aspect of her existence.

And for us, that’s very inspiring and worth emulating.

Bibihira ang artistang tulad ni Ate Vi na alam kung ano ang priority niya sa buhay at ‘yun ay ang kanyang pamilya.

Oo nga naman. When everything is lost and gone, your family will always be around to keep you sane and whole.

Kay Ate Vi pa rin, 147 theaters na ang The Healing as of yesterday at tuwang-tuwa ang Star Cinema people dahil 12 million lang naman ang kinita nito when it opened last Wednesday in some 140 theaters nationwide.

Perfectly impressive, isn’t it?

Dapat lang! Ate Vi yata ‘yan!

***

Ariel Villasanta, ‘di kaya magselos sa closeness nina Cristina Decena at Daniel Fernando?

BAGAMA’T off-line na raw sina Cristina Decena at ang mister niyang si Ariel Villasanta, di kaya magselos ang actor/comedian sa newfound closeness nito at ng actor/politician ng Bulacan na si Vice-governor Daniel Fernando?

Full support kasi ang ibibigay ng kontrobersyal na businesswoman sa papable na actor/politician sa Bulacan di lang sa forthcoming elections kundi lalo’t higit sa ngayon.

For one, magtatayo raw ito ng mga negosyo roon at nakahandang suportahan ang mga proyekto ni vice-governor sa abot ng kanyang makakaya.

Sa formal launching at inauguration ng mga negosyo ni Ms. Decena last Wednesday sa Makati, special guest of honor si Daniel kaya parang nakaaamoy ang press people na tipong something exciting raw is bound to happen soon.

True kaya?

Anyway, pangiti-ngiti lang si Vice-gov. kapag binibiro ng working press sa new found closeness nila ng ex ni Philip Salvador, na, incidentally, is running purportedly opposite Daniel at the forthcoming elections.

Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

‘Yun na!

Anyway, in the few times that we’ve seen them together, na-sense agad naming di magtatagal ang kanilang relasyon. Kadalasan kasi’y nagmumukhang tanga si Ariel dahil ang working press ay laging naka-focus sa kanyang asawa at di sa kanya for some reasons too obvious for us to expound on. Hahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Ayaw matulog ang gabi ng duldonic na si Vavalina!

HAHAHAHA! Vavalina Duldolica is purportedly posting some supposedly revealing and shocking concoctions about us at the net.

The malodorous libidinous uncircumcised fag (yuck! soo kadiri! Hakhakhak!) is supposedly hellbent in ruining our reputation with the debased and heinous concoctions that he’s posting nonstop at the websites only he and his cohorts are basically aware of. Hahahahahahaha!

Who, the hell, cares?

Does he have credibility in the first place? Hakhakhak!

Sino ba ang maniniwala sa isang non-entity sa show business na nag-iilusyong in pa rin kuno siya gayung never naman siyang sumikat? Hahahaha!

Instead of monitoring every single move that I make, delusory filthy fag, why don’t you consult the doctor nearest you so that your diabetes can be arrested?

Inggit na inggit ka, wala ka namang binesa compared sa akin dahil duldulic ka, nanggigitata, gurang, naglulupa at mukhang tipaklong na nasinok at di na nakahinga kaya natigok sa ere. Hahahahahaha!

Why don’t you post your diabolical photo so people would have the idea how ugly, old and wasted you look? Hahahahaha!

Magpakamatay ka na lang kaya dahil hopeless na rin naman ang gangrenous duldolic manifestations all over your anorexic body?

Hahahahahahaha!

Mamatay ka sa inggit Vavalina Duldolica because you don’t amount to anything as compared to what I have become

in the business by virtue of my being a hardworker. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ni aso nga di ka kilala, why delude yourself into the false belief that you amount to something? Hahahahahaha!

Good riddance, old goat. Wala ka nang mapupuntahan kundi ang public cemetery na matagal nang naghihintay sa ‘yo dahil ni pambili ng third rate na kabaong ay wala ka. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun lang!

***

AC/DC ang ipinalit!

NATATAW ang mga vaklushi sa diskarte sa pag-big ng isang libogeric (libogeric raw, o! Hahahahahaha!) young actress.

After na mag-break sila ng kanyang tisoy na papa, heto ka at may kapalit na raw agad ito sa katauhan ng isang older hunk who might be hunky and good-looking but is reportedly a closet queen.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Hindi kaya maging anorexic na naman si kuya in the event na sagutin siya ng libidinous young actress just like what happened sometime last year when he had a most scalding sexual relationship with a sexy actress?

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Hindi kaya between the devil and the deep blue sea ang maging episode niya in the event that the young actress he’s supposedly courting now accepts him as the replacement of her former flame? Hahahahahaha!

At least kahit may pagka-praning, certified ombre naman ‘yung ex (ex na nga ba? Hahahahahaha!) niya.

Rito sa bago niya, baka magdusa siya. Hahahahahahahaha!

Baka magdusa raw, o! Hakhakhak!

****

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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