Ferminata tinataling-harap na naman si Vice-Gov. Daniel Fernando!

MATINDI talaga ang topak sa ulo nitong si Ferminata, da super ngangaerang lola na paboritong pag-trip-an si Vice-Governor Daniel Fernando sa kanyang cheaply written columns dahil gustong i-build-up ang alaga niyang aktor who’s venturing into the equally intriguing world of politics at the forthcoming election.

The money-oriented old woman is harping incessantly on the good-natured actor in her cheap attact and collect, defend and collect (how gross! Hahahahaha!) columns in her typical duplicitous manner of writing. Hahahahaha!

Okray talaga itong si nganga, oo. Sa kawalan ng valid issues na maibibira kay Vice-gov. Daniel, kung anik-anik na pantasya na lang ang sinusulat, makakudlit man lang baga.
Palibhasa’y afraid na pangalanan ang politician turned actor, dinadaan ng matandang walang kredibilidad at sooo laki ang puson, ang pagbira kay vice by way of her cheaply written blind items. Hahahahahahaha!

Cheaply written blind items raw, o! Hahahahaha!

Anyhow, according to Lola Fermi, who is known for her legendary ESP manner of writing since the early 80s, tamad na tamad daw lumabas sa kapitolyo ang mabait na politiko at wala na raw itong ginawa kundi magkulong doon doing nothing but simply stare intently at his reflection infront of the mirror and while away the time doing nothing.

Hahahahahahahaha!

According to Lola Pantasya, bihirang-bihira raw tumatanggap ng speaking engagements sa labas ng Kapitolyo si papa Daniel dahil hindi raw trip nitong naaalikabukan at mas feel na lang nitong maghapong kumukuya-kuyakoy sa ganyang golden cage. Hahahahaha!

How presumptuous of this old goat of an ugly woman.

Are you really aware of his activities inside the Kapitolyo, lola?

Matandang gurang na urung na urong ang dentures, (urung na urong daw ang dentures, o! Hakhakhakhakhak! kapalmuks!) subukan mo kayang magtrabaho roon up to ten in the evening attending to the needs of these multitude of people who are all in need of the little financial assistance that you can possible dole out, how would you feel?

Hindi kaya mabaliw ka, gurangga, na kiyemeng prim and proper pero mahilig din sa mahahaba at matatabang nota?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

How gross!

Yuck!

Honestly, it’s not a joke doing what Vice-Gov. Daniel does on a Tuesday afternoon.

Palibhasa’y wala ka nang ginawa kundi sumahod sa mga ‘kinukotongan’ mo kaya you don’t know what hard work is all about cheap old delusory woman. Hahahahahahaha!

Kilabutan ka sa mga paninirang ginagawa mo. Mas noble naman ang ginagawa ni Papa Daniel na nagsisilbi sa kanyang constituents in the noble way he knows how, compared naman sayo na ang tanga-tanga na nga, chakang kotongera pa. Hahahahahahahaha!

Baka if you were on Vice-Gov. Daniel’s shoes ay magkaroon ka ng fainting spells matandang mukhang anda. Hahahahaha!

Kasuka ka!

Sulat ka nang sulat ng mga bagay-bagay na imbento gayong kaya nga every Tuesday ay nasa Kapitolyo si Papa Daniel ay para makapagsilbi sa kanyang mga nasasakupan at di magpa-pogi sa kanyang opisina.

Maipagtanggol mo lang ang manok mo, kung anu-anong mga kasinungalingan na ang pinaglulubid mo.

Nakasusuka (hayan, gurangga, salitang ugat ang inuulit, tonta! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!) kang tunay. You’re comparable to a leech that sucks the blood out of its hapless victims.

Wala ka ng ginawa matandang halimaw kundi banatan nang banatan ang mga taong di mo pinakikinabangan at purihin to-the-max ang mga personalidad na pinagkakaperahan mo.

Di ba naman, Papa Wil na napaka-generous kay Bubogik? Hahahahahahahaha!

Kaya tantanan mo si Papa Dahiel dahil matino siyang tao at di harbaterang tulad mo.

Nakaririmarim ka matandang di makatayo sa Juicy dahil afraid na ipakita ang yosi-kadiring tulak (tiyan vagah! Hahaha!). ‘Yun lang!

***

GMA mamimigay ng milyon-milyon!

NAKATAKDANG mamahagi ng mahigit P15 million cash ang GMA-7 sa pamamagitan ng pinakabago at pinaka-engrande nitong promo campaign na Kapuso Milyonaryo!

From July 30 up to September 23, may 11 Kapuso ang mabibiyayaan at tatangghaling mga bagong milyonaryo.

May apat na idedeklarang surprise winners ng P1 million, at 35 weekly winners ng tig-10,000 pesos sa Kapuso Milyonaryo winners plugs na mapapanood sa GMA at GMA News TV (GNTV).

Bukod dito, may karagdagang 7 sponsor winners pa ang mag-uuwi ng P1 million each sa finale na gaganapin sa September 29 sa Manny Many Prizes.

“Ito ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon na mamimigay ng ganitong kalaking papremyo ang GMA pagkatapos ng marami nang matagumpany na promo campaigns. Nais naming ibahagi ang aming tagumpay at biyayaan ang mga tapat na Kapuso dahil kung hindi sa kanila ay hindi kami magiging number 1,” ayon kay GMA Marketing and Productions, Inc. (GMPI) Vice-President of Sales, Riza D. Garduque.

Para sumali, ipunin lamang ang mga Proof of Purchase (POP) requirements at ilagay sa isang envelope kasama ang papel na may pangalan, address, edad, contact number, at pirma.

Sa likod ng envelope ay isulat ang “Kapuso Milyonaryo”, brand ng POP, petsa, at lugar kung saan naninirahan. Para sa karagdagang mechanics sa pagpapadala ng electronic entries ay abangan lamang ang daily plugs sa GMA at GMA News TV na hatid ng iba’t ibang Kapuso stars.

Maaaring ihulog ang mga entries hanggang September 23 sa GMA Network Center, GMA Regional stations, GMA Radio stations, o sa mahigit 300 Mercury Drugstore branches nationwide as per DTI-NCR Permit No. 4687, series of 2012.

Maaaring ikaw na ang maging susunod na Kapuso Milyonaryo! Para sa karagdagang detalye sa pagsali, manood ng Kapuso Milyonaryo mechanics plug at solo POP plugs ng bawat sponsor, hanapin ang mga poster o bumisita sa www.gmanetwork.com/Kapusomilyon.

***

Master piece ni Direk Chito Rono ang ‘The Healing’

UPON the invitation of Queenstar Vilma Santos’ VSSI as ably headed the very affable Jojo Lim, nanood kami ng block screening ng The Healing ni Direk Chito S. Rono sa cinema 2 ng Trinoma.

Honestly, the Star Cinema presentation is bewitching and riveting in the sense that the story’s not hackneyed or run of the mill.

Hindi ito predictable at masasabing original ang story line at above par ang acting ng mga personalities involved particularly sina Kim Chiu, Janice de Belen, Pokwang, Ynez Veneracion at Martin del Rosario.

Inasmuch as the supporting cast are all competent and good (Joel Torre’s exceptionally fascinating as Daria Ramirez brother), there is no doubt that the movie is Queenstar Vilma santos’ vehicle.

From beginning up to the very end, she is going to keep you glued to your seats with her no-nonsense acting and sensible delineation of the character she’s been given the chance to portray on the big screen.

Daria Ramirez, in fairness, is haunting and enigmatic as the healer Elsa.

Na-internalize niya nang husto ang kanyang role at ramdam na ramdam mong siya talaga si Manang Elsa and not Daria Ramirez, the actress.

Anyway, from the very beginning up to the end, feel na feel mo ang unique touch ni Direk Chito.

Matalino ang pagkakagawa ng pelilula, veritably a reflection of the kind of lofty intellect that Direk Chito has.

Panoorin n’yo. Hindi kayo manghihinayang sa perang isi-shell out ninyo.

***

Di talaga ibigay ng Diyos ang lahat ng biyaya

KUNG tutuusin, mapalad sa dilang mapalad ang personalidad na ‘to dahil na rin sa katotohanang from rags to riches talaga ang kanyang drama.

Mula sa kanyang humble beginnings na maituturing, she’s been able to make something veritably remarkable out of it.

Kung tutuusin, she never wants of anything when you speak of material things.

But when you focus on her personal life, everything seems palpably in turmoil and unsatisfactory.

Indeed, she is a lonely hunter and her heart appears to be perennially in search for Mr. Right.

Dati, Bubonic, matinding trauma ang dinulot sa kanya ng isang money-grabbing hunk na ang ending ng kanilang relasyon ay bitter animosity talaga.

Parang ikaw, lola. Hahahahahahaha! You never want of material things but your keps (your keps raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahaha!) is perennially ‘tigang.’

Perennially tigang daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, just when she thought she had already found Mr. Right, she was palpably shocked with the realization that the guy she got entangled with seemed to enjoy the company of his driver as compared to her. Hakhakhak!

Shocking and deppressing at the same time. Hahahahahahaha!

Nang magkasakit kasi ito at ma-confine sa hospital, he chose to be ministered intimately by his private driver as compared to the comforts that his wife could give. Hahahahahahaha!

Sinaraduhan daw talaga ang girlalu ng pinto at wasang pagka-fellanggetch ng papa niya na kanyang punasan ang kanyang intimate body parts.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Kaaning ever! Hakhakhakhak!

Totoo ka, God is not going to give you everything.

For if that is the case, what good is living for? Hahahahahaha!

Kailangan siyempre ay palaging may challenge para maalala mo Siya.

Period. Ayoko ng nota!

Ayaw raw ng nota, o! Hakhakhak!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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