Kadakuan ang pang-akit mereseng bayota!

HAHAHAHA! How so very funny naman ang episode ng isang strikingly pretty and super opulent socialite na very much hooked sa isang bisexual but succulently well-endowed na aktor. Hakhakhak!

Imagine, dahil tagong vaklushi rin, oks lang sa paparu niyang tumatambay siya sa mga gay bars (would you believe? She is a certified gay bar habitue but her papa is supposedly most tolerant and has got no complaints whatsoever… Hahaha!).

Not for anything, but I strongly believe that no sane man would ever tolerate his girlfriend’s predilection for gay bars that more than showcased men in their brazen and ignominious nudities.

Hahahahahaha!

‘Di ba’t nakatatawang tambay ng gay bars ang syota mo at sinusundo mo pa mandin? Hakhakhak!

Times have indeed inordinately altered.

Kung dati-rati’y taboo ito, this time it seems to have become an accepted norm. Hahahahahahaha!

Pero ang sabi naman ng mga intrigero, kaya naman daw tino-tolerate nu’ng ombre ang mga eyebrow-raising actuations ng kanyang girlfriend ay dahil sa vaklung rin ito na meron ding mga questionable activities behind the scene. Hahahahahahaha!

Makes one wonder where our world is heading at these days? People are becoming too liberated to the point of becoming a veritable libertine. Hakhakhak!

But then, it’s their lives. Bahala sila kung ano ang gusto nilang gawin. Hahahahahaha!

Kung happy ang baklang babae sa que sabrosong tarugs ng sila-silang lalaki, so be it! Hahahahahaha!

Tutal naman, desidido na rin daw ang lalakeng pakasalan siya for reasons too obvious for us to expound on.

Hahahahahahaha!

Ang dakotang tarugs…bow! Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Nakikiramay kami Ms. Claire

IT IS sad when you lose someone you dearly love.

Ako nga, it’s been years since I lost my mom and my son Christopher but the pain apparently never leaves.

It’s with you every time your feeling low and is beset with so much problems.

The pain also comes with a vengeance in the middle of the night when you wake up for no apparent reason and you suddenly remember your long departed loved ones.

That’s why I know how devastated Ms. Claire dela Fuente is when she texted that her mom, the late Rosario dela Fuente, has already passed away after battling with old age related problems.

Anyway, her remains is lying in state at the Venice & Lesbon room at the Loyola Memorial Park in Sucat, Paranaque. Her necrologic rites will be held tomorrow, July 3 at 8pm in Loyola Memorial chapel, then will be cremated on July 4, at the Heritage park crematorium.

Once again, to Ms. Claire, our condolences and let’s just be happy that your mom is already at peace and would no longer be harmed by these physically debilitating ailments that old age bitchingly brings.

***

Lola Fermi nuknukan ng pagkaplastikada

‘YUNG mga bukeke ni Ferminata, ‘da ograng lolang tsaka, (orgrang lolang tsaka raw, o! Hahahahaha!) na dapat daw ay ilipat sila sa mas magandang timeslot para makapanood naman ang kanilang young (young daw talaga, o! Hahaha!) followers kuno ay figment lang ng kanyang delusions.

Kung talagang magaling ka at may aliw factor, your audiences would cotton to you like anything no matter what timeslot you would be in.

Perfect example ang old Juicy namin noon nina Morly at Rey P. Hitsurang 6% ang rating ng aming replays at mas mataas pa sa noontime rating (5%) namin.

Pero the mere fact na sinubok na ng network ang lahat ng timeslots possible and Fermi wasn’t able to deliver, whose fault is it?

Aminin na kasing passe’ na siya at wala ng arrive bilang teevee personality since wala na siyang aliw factor and the men (the men daw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) are inordinately pissed off with her antiquated Pilipino, along with her obese figure and laylayic (sagging, my love! Hahahahahaha!) fezlak.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Kung bakit kasi pinagduduldulan sa mga new breed of televiewer ang mga kabaduyang kata at kita, ang ending, para siyang kay sakit na ketong na pinandidirihang talaga. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ayoko ng baduy na’y tsaka paaaaaaah! Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun lang!

***

Anthony Michael Carecha oozing with succulent appeal!

PEOPLE are amazed with his kind of sensuality.

At 19 (oh, the sweet bird of youth! Hakhakhak!) Anthony Michael Cadrecha exemplifies today’s youth.

Vibrant, alive, oozing zest and sensuality. The very reason perhaps why he’s one of America’s much sought-after male models.

Look at him, isn’t he simply irresistible? Hahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hakhakhak!

***

Vilmanians na-appreciate ang ginagawa namin sa kanilang idolo

I HAVE never met them but some Vilmanians are assiduously sending in touching messages of thanks for the kind of support that we have supposedly been giving to their idol Queenstar Vilma Santos.

And one of them happens to be a guy named Jake who happens to be a silent admirer of the Batangas lady governor. “Good morning, kuya Pete,” he says beaming. “Ang laki nang nagagawa ng write-ups mo kay Ate Vi.

“Short or lengthy, tumatagos sa puso,” he adds beaming. “Walang Vilmanian na ‘di natutuwa sa ginagawa mo.

“I’m with my barkada right now,” he avers. “We just read ur Remate column and we’re one in saying na iba ang   pagmamahal mo kay Ate Vi.

“Ikaw na!” he glowingly states. “Ikaw na talaga.

“Wala na yatang tungkol sa aming reyna na di mo alam. Daig mo pa ang mga manunulat diyan who claim to be Vilmanians pero madalang pa sa patak ng ulan kung magsulat sa kanya.

“Ate Vi should really be thankful to you (She’s nice every time I get to see her and is most accommodating. And for me, that’s more than enough. ‘Yung iba nga riyan, deadma. But Ate Vi would even call me personally to ask if I’m okay because I happened to leave early in one occasion and was not given the chance to have a private audience with her. – Ed) 4 ur unconditional love and concern.

“Dapat malaman na ni Ate Vi kung sino ba talaga ang nagmamahal sa kanya!” (Of course she knows! Ate Vi’s most perceptive and sensitive unlike you know who! Hahahahahahaha! Basta on my part, just to see her from afar is all I crave for. Di na kailangang i-acknowledge niya ako or bigyan ng VIP treatment. Happy na ako na batiin niya in that very intimate manner she’s always been famous for. – Ed)

***

Happy raw sa wholesome smell ng tarugs ni papa!

ANO ba itetchie? Ang siyete ng mga intrigera, kung dati-rati raw ay half smile lang ang isang sexy actress kapag tinatanong sa kanyang imported na papa, these days she appears to be simply ecstatic.
Hahahahahaha!

Finally, pumayag na raw kasing magpa-circumcise si papa kaya very much sated and at peace na si mama.

Hahahahaha!

Big as her boyfriend’s dick (he’s half-breed, expected lang na his dingdong would be enormous! Hahahaha!) happens to be, she is reportedly pissed off with the not-so-pleasant smell that emanated from it every time they would have some highly intimate moments together. Hahahahaha!

Iba nga naman ang binyagan. Every time you get to smell it (smell it raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahaha!), walang malodorous chuva na makati-turn-off sa ‘yo. Hahahahahahaha!

So, in a matter of speaking, complete na ang pagka-macho ni papa.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

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