Vaklung na young actor mas maramig nahahada sa bagong nilipatang network

MAHADERA ang young actor na ‘to na in full regalia ay pinagkakalat na never raw siyang pumatol sa third sex. Hahahahahahahaha!

Bagama’t well endowed, (que sabroso at katilam-tilam daw sana ang tarugs nitong sooo haba and oohh, so taba! Hakhakhak!), diring-diri raw ito sa third sex dahil tagung-tagong vaklung din kasi. Hahahahahaha!

At one point, napilitan siyang makipag-on sa isang young actress na anak ng isang mahusay na character actress pero nothing came out of their union because he appeared not to be that interested in taking her out on a date for the simple reason that he would very much prefer to go out with the other young men at the network he used to be an integral part of.
Hahahahahahahaha!

Ang bakla, tadtarin mo man nang pinung-pino, bakla pa rin. Harharhar!
Sa ngayon daw, happing-happy ang claving na yung actor dahil marami siyang naieklay sa bagong network na kanyang pinagtatrabahuhan. Hakhakhak!

Palibhasa’y maraming male starlets roon na willing na willing makipaghadahan sa kanya for the love of a break, reynang-reynang ang halaang (halaan daw, o! Hahahahahahaha!) young actor lalo na’t big star siya kung ituring roon dahil naging blockbuster ang pelikulang kanyang pinagbidahan na, you got it right, (Hahahahahahaha!) kabadingan din ang tema. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ang siyete nga, ‘yung morenong daks na aktor na gumanap na kanyang lover roon ay matagal-tagal ding naging ka-um-uman niya ever. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Star na kuno kasi si ate kaya more than willing to give in naman si papa. Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, may watering hole raw si ‘mama’ (mama raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) sa may Rizal Avenue na isang cheap na motel roon. Ang drama raw nito ay magtsi-check-in nang mag-isa at pasusunurin na lang ang kanyang hada much later on para di nga naman obvious. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ang mga vaklung talaga, paiba-iba ang drama. Hakhakhakhakhak!

‘Yun na!
***
Delusions have never a part of Ate Vi’s physical make-up

A lot of people are wondering what could be Queenstar Vilma Santos’ secret for the kind of awesome longevity that she has in the business.
Karamihan nga naman sa kanyang contemporaries ay wala na halos sa sirkulasyon at kahit ‘yung arch-rival niya for many a good year now is not as hot as she used to.

Well, delusions have never been a part of Ate Vi’s physical make-up.

Naranasan na niya lahat halos ng recognitions pero never na lumaki ang kanyang ulo at lagi na’y nakatapak ang kanyang mga paa sa lupa.
Bilang isang public servant, never na nag-ilusyon siya o nag-asal prima donna kaya.

Lagi na’y consistent siya sa pagbibigay ng public service kaya naman her followers have cottoned to her in the many years that she’s been in this kind of profession.

Most probably, huhugos na naman sila on the 25th of July para suportahan ang kanyang latest incursion sa movies by way of the Star Cinema’s latest offering The Healing that will pit her opposite Kim Chiu, among other actors and actresses.

Directed by Chito S. Ronio, the best so far in this kind of genre, we can be sure that the movie we are about to see is of the finest quality.

Period!

***

Amusing ang interview kay Aiza sa Sir!

BONGGA ang interview ni Mr. Joey Marquez sa comebacking heiress of drama (I hope I did get her title right) na si Andi Eigenmann pero mas riveting ang panayam ni Janice de Belen kay Aiza Seguerra sa kanyang sariling portion sa top-rating na Showbiz Inside Report.

Doon ay buong layang pinakawalan ng lenguang singer/actress ang kanyang nararamdaman sa kanyang tagong katauhan before.

Would you believe, there was even a time when she had a loveteam in the person of Spencer, the star dancer of Chito S. Ronio’s Street Boys. Hahahahahaha!

Aiza went along with the tide to the point that she even allowed Spencer to kiss her on the cheek in one of their gigs together? Hahahahahahahahaha!
Aiza was a lot slimmer by then and was wearing girlie outfits that befitted her stature as a teeny bopper. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Kaaning!

But things are a lot different now. Sa Be Careful with My Heart, mother role na nga ang ginagampanan ni Aiza at may bump and grind routine pa siya (with matching tanga, huh? Hahahahaha!) sa Atlantis Productions of Rock of Ages. Hahahahahaha!

No wonder, it became a hit dahil it’s not every day nga naman that you get to see her donning such a provocative outfit. Hakhakhak!
Anyway, going back to her challenging role as a mom at 29 sa Be Careful with My Heart, di raw sinabi agad sa kanyang may anak siya rito bilang older sis ng role ni Jodi Sta. Maria.

“Akala ko nung una, medyo weird,” she explains. “Kumbaga, nagkataon lang na dala ng alak kaya ako nagkaanak.

“Pero hindi ‘yung tipong akala ko magda-duster ako. Hahahahahahaha!”

Going back to her guesting at Showbiz Inside Report, dinivulge ni Aiza na ever since naman daw ay never siyang nagkaroon ng identity crisis. Alam niya kung ano siya at never siyang na-confuse sa kanyang sexuality.

Mapanonood nga pala ang Be Careful with my Heat daily from 10:45 am bago mag-It’s Showtime.

***

Michael Radon, athlete turned fashion model

RUGGEDLY handsome Michael Radon, an athlete turned fashion and fitness model is our centerfold for the day.

A former Canadian football player who attended Missouri State University and graduated 2007, he’s now a full-  time American model.

Oks ba mga repaps? Hahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal ang magtikol! Hakhakhakhakhak!

***

Walang arrive ang grand winner

MUKHANG mas magkaka-career pa ang runner-up lang compared sa grand winner ng isang reality show sa isang sikat na network.

‘Yung runner-up kasi ay may dating kahit nakahubad mereseng may pagka syonga ang arrive. (May pagka-syonga raw ang arrive, o! Hakhakhak!)

‘Yung grand winner kasi ay napakalamya at parang girlie ang projection if you are not going to look at him on teevee.

Samantalang itong syongaers na ombre ay daks (daks raw talaga, o! Hahahahahaha!) ang arrive at maganda ang pangangatawan unlike roon sa isa na chicken legs ang mga hita’t binti. Hahahahahahaha!

Maybe the nota is not naman chicken legs chuva but his legs are not shaped the way a man should be and he doesn’t exude machismo when he talks.

In stark contrast, the runner-up evokes manliness the natural way even if he’s not that articulate when he starts talking.

‘Yung pagsasalita kasi ay pwede namang ma-improve pero ang chicken legs ay hopeless nang talaga. Hahahahaha!

Given more time to have his body developed, nakasisiguro kaming magkakaroon lalo ng sex appeal ang ombaw na ‘to na isang certified dakota lalo na’t American ang fadir nito. Hahahahahahahahahaa!

‘Yun na!

Tsalap!tsalap!tsalap! Hakhakhakhak!

***
Papa Daniel macho at barako pero maunawain

IBA ang dating ni Vice governor Daniel Fernando as compared to other colleague of his at the political arena.

Hayan at pilit na isinasabong sa kanya ang isang aging aktor who was a big-named personality during his peak years as an actor but to no avail. Hahahahahahaha!

Dahil gustong itapat sa kanya, pinatayuan pa pala ito ng mansion (yes, dear readers, a mansion no less kaya he goes there most of the time and stays when he’s not pre-occupied with any showbiz commitments) ng kanyang mga supporters but to no avail.

Si Papa Daniel pa rin ang sinisigaw ng mga Bulakenyo at mahihirapan siguro ang sinumang tumapat sa kanya. Hahahahaha!

Ang maganda kasi kay VG Daniel ay madali siyang lapitan.
Kung napadadalaw nga kami sa kapitolyo ng Malolos, witness kami sa rami ng mga taong pumipila para humingi ng tulong sa kanya at lahat naman sila’y kanyang pinaglilingkuran sa abot ng kanyang makakaya.

No wonder, mahal na mahal siya ng kanyang mga constituents kaya bago mo siya mapataob, kailangang bumangga ka muna sa pader.

‘Yun na!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang Kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.
Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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