Bagong show na kasama si Ferminata, walang arrive tulad ng kanyang pagmumukha

HAHAHAHAHA! Hindi pa man nagsisimula ang show ni Lola Fermi sa TV5, marami na ang naniniwalang tigokers na naman daw ito sa ratings. Hahahahahahaha!

We certainly wholeheartedly agree! For Ferminatex is no longer suited to be a part of any teevee program because she’s kabaduyan personified. Hahahahahahaha!

When is Bubonic going to accept the fact that her hosting skill is infinitely passe’ and is no longer appreciated by the multitude who naturally prefer their hosts to be updated and in tuned with the ever-changing times and not the relic of an almost forgotten past? Hahahahahahaha!

Honestly, wala ng puwang sa local television ang kabaduyan na siyang forte ni Lola Fermi. Hahahahahahaha!

Hayan nga at mismong mga kasamahan niya sa TV5 ay nanininidig na ang mga balahibo at nangingilabot sa kanyang antiquated hosting style that tends to make use of hackneyed words and phrases like puting katsang telon chuvanes, among other hard to decipher words and phrases.

Hakhakhak!

Puhlezzeeee! Put a stop to your baduy expressions because no one appreciates it anymore. Hakhakhak!

How so very yucky! Harharharharhar!

Bubonic, I strongly suggest that you take a refresher course on dynamic hosting. Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, super write si Fermi sa ma-emosyonal eklaboom kuno nilang paalaman ng ibang hosts ng Juicy na kaya lang naman pinandirihan ng mga otaw ay magmula nang ang mala-chabokan niyang pagmumukha ang bumandera roon.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Up to the very end, ni isang commercial ay walang nahipat si Lola Fermi dahil diring-diri sa hilatsa ng kanyang pagmumukha ang mga ad men.

Harharharharhar!

Kunsabagay, with a face like that, along with her deplorable hosting style, she is naturally being avoided like the plague by most televiewers, the discriminating males in particular.

The discriminating males in particular raw, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Trulili! Hindi nila ma-take ang bungalic host na paborito ni Mr. Perci Intalan na naging gwaping na pero si Lola Fermi ay napirmi na ang kapangitan at syoraktsinang katawan. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Kaya sa ngayon, umaasa raw si Fermi na tatangkilikin ang bago nilang show ng sanlibutan.

Hahahahahahaha! Neknek mo!

Magsasara rin ‘yan dahil osla ka na at wala nang naniniwala sa kaplastikan mo at pagiging mukhang anda’t taling-harap. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Mamahinga ka na, lola, dahil basang-basa na ang papel mo sa publiko.

Aware silang kapag pinuri mo ay may andalung gibsona sa ‘yo at kapag binibira mo ay hindi pa naghahatag.

Kapal! Over sa kapalllllllllllllllll!

Magtinda ka na lang kaya ng okoy sa Valenzuela city, lola. Baka kumita ka pa.

Lumayas ka na sa mundo ng telebisyon dahil wala ka ng kredibilidad!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ngetpalites na nga nama’y mukhang anda pa. Hakhakhakhakhak!

You’re a goner, Lola Anda. Mamahinga ka na!

Period. Ayoko ng tsakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Bo Roberts from jail guard to modelling

FORMER mixed martial arts cage fighter turned model, Bo Roberts, is an aspiring actor from Charlestown, Indiana, now living in Sarasota, Florida. Born November 8, 1985, he has formerly worked as corrections officer (riot squad) for a jail. He has since been spotted as a cover boy for Australia’s DNA magazine, and been photo- graphed by David Vance, Luis Rafael, David Arnot, and Rick Day.

***

Derek Ramsay passe’ na at walang ng interesado!

NASILAW sa huge talent fee pero nasaan na nga ba si Derek Ramsay sa ngayon?

Unfortunately, his career seems to be very much in the dumps after quite an impressive showing at ABS CBN.

In Derek’s case, minsan pang napatunayang the network he used to work for is the key to the kind of popularity that he was enjoying then.

Now that he’s under the employ of a network who might be supremely moneyed but is not in the least bit well-followed, his once prodigious career is now way below his new network’s expectation.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Que miserable usted, Bubonika! Hahahahahahaha!

Pero better naman siya sa ‘yo.

At least parang may promise pa naman ang kanyang showbiz career unlike yours that’s already stale and good as dead.

Good as dead raw, o! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Bagets na aktor, papa raw ng gwaping na matinee idol?

GULAT na gulat kami sa tsikang ang gwaping na young actor na sa kabilang network pumirma ng talent management contract ay di raw pala pamangkin ng isang kontrobersyal na matinee idol kundi papa raw nito. Hahahahahaha!

Shocking Asia naman.

“Tama!” trills a colleague who seems to be too knowledgeable of the young actor’s whereabouts. “Pinalalabas lang na pamangkin kuning-kuning niya pero papa niya ‘yun!”

Ows? True ba ‘yan? Parang kamukha naman siya nung brown-skinned matinee idol, ‘di kaya iniintriga lang sila?

“To see is to believe!” so says our colleague.

Well, I still won’t believe our colleague’s allegation. Parang iniintriga lang naman ang baguhang aktor.

Let’s wait and see.

Let’s wait and see raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

***

Dapat patunayan na wala talagang kasalanan si Nora

SANG-AYON sa reportage ng ilan nating kasamahan sa trabaho, biglaang umuwi raw sa Pinas ang Superstar Nora Aunor para i-confront ang dating publicist niyang si Pilar Mateo tungkol sa sinulat nitong nangungutang supposedly kuno siya ng ten thousand rito nu’ng time na siya’y nasa States pa.

Ang sa akin lang naman, Pilar won’t have the temerity to write about the actress in her columns if she doesn’t have some tangible proofs that she is the one who texted her a couple of days ago to ask for a loan.

Ang sabi, talaga raw namang wala nang natitira sa malaking allowance ng kontrobersyal na aktres coming from TV5 dahil kadi-deposit palang daw ng management ng kanyang anda, a few minutes afterwards ay gets galore na ito ng aktres.

Well, dapat lang sigurong seryosohin na ni Nora ang pagbabago kung ayaw niyang maging katulad ng isang legendary movie queen na si Ms. Carmen Rosales who died under miserable circumstances a couple of years ago.

Why can’t she emulate the lofty example of her kumareng Vilma Santos who’s sane management of her earnings has made her beyond comfortable of late?

Kita n’yo naman, 80 million na ang kinita ng kanyang suspense/horror movie na The Healing under Star Cinema and still counting.

Pa’no naman, ang tinu-tino ni Ate Vi sa paghawak ng kanyang career at finances kaya naman she’s beyond comfortable and has fabulously earned the respect of her peers in the industry and that of her fans’ as well.

Kung naging matino lang si Guy sa paghawak ng kanyang earnings, there’s no doubt that she would have been the first actress to have acquired billions of pesos.

Kaya lang, marami siyang nakaiiritang eksena kaya butata!

Bagama’t madalas niyang sabihing she’s not scared supposedly to go back to her once very humble beginnings, carry kaya niyang makitang buhay bilyonarya ang kanyang kumare and still very much on top of the heap when you speak of her finances while she’s way down in the dumps?

Sayang naman ang kanyang God-given talent kung sasayangin lang niya ito sa mga pagsusugal na ‘yan at kung anu-ano pang mga ka-cheap-ang eksena.

Wake-up, Nora Aunor. It’s never too late to straighten your path and live a life of dignity just like your kumareng Vilma who’s highly esteemed by her colleagues and vastly adored by her fans because she has led an exemplary existence and has worked awfully hard to be where she is at the moment.

Period. Walang comma!

***

Asset ni Aga sa kanyang kandidatura sa Bikol ang napakabait na si Charlene Gonzales!

SA INTERVIEW niya sa TV Patrol ng ABS CBN, inamin na ni Aga Muhlach ang kanyang intensyong tumakbo bilang congressman sa 4th district ng Camarines Sur.

Sa kanyang bagong endeavor na ‘to, suportado siyempre siya ng napakabait at napakaganda niyang first lady na si Ms. Charlene Gonzales na superfab talaga ang arrive ng segment sa top-rating na The Buzz every Sunday afternoon.

Honestly, malaking factor ang presence ni Ms. Charlene para sa kandidatura ni Papa Aga dahil bukod sa unblemished personality ng kanyang misis, sikat na sikat pa ito dahil sa kanyang sterling performance sa top-rating showbiz-oriented program ng ABS CBN na The Buzz.

Kita n’yo naman, kinabog na nito ang kalabang show sa ibang estasyon at kahit na siguro tapatan pa ito nang panibagong show, di pa rin nila uubrang kabugin ang malaking following nito hindi lang sa Pinas kundi lalo’t  higit sa abroad thru it’s TFC.

Kasama siyempre ni Ms. Charlene sa The Buzz ang napakahusay magsalitang si Kuya Boy Abunda at ang wacky but sensible na si Ms. Toni Gonzaga.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.  
Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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