Iba talaga ang dating ni Lovi Poe!

HAUNTING ang dating ng beauty ni Lovi Poe sa trailer ng Guni-Guni ng Regal films.

Iba talaga on cam ang dating ng kanyang beauty. May semblance of Claudia Zobel na naiiba at mukhang mysterious.

Anyway, Regal Entertainment, Inc.’s latest offering tends to have a surreal effect that’s all the more augmented with the lead actress’s mysterious persona.

In person, parang hindi bagay kay Lovi ang baby-babyish look ng kanyang leading man na si Benjamin Alves (the controversial newcomer who’s repeatedly being doubted with regard to his relationship with his hunky tito Piolo Pascual), but on cam, they compliment each other perfectly well since the sensitive cameras tend to capture Lovi’s youth in all its mysterious glory.

And speaking of Benjamin, his being articulate and intelligent seem to piss off some the entertainment press.

Naku naman mga teh, it’s not his fault if he’s comfortable in the king’s lingo since he stayed in the States for quite sometime.

Anyhow, winner ang directorial debut ni Direk Tara Illenberger. Maganda ang pagkakagawa niya sa pelikula at mukhang panalo talaga ang dating nito lalo na’t mahuhusay naman ang ibang artista rito na kinabibilangan nina James Blanco, Neil Ryan Sese, Julia Clarete, Ms. Gina Alajar at Empress.

The movie’s going to open in some giant cinemas on August 22.

* * *

THIS ancient fag who smells like hell is once again trying to hug the limelight by way of tring to make it ap- pear that queenstar Vilma Santos’ The Healing happens to be a megaflop supposedly. Hahahahahahahaha!

Why don’t you have your mega veritably small dick be circumcized at the hospital nearest you in that God forsaken place you’re living in, so that you won’t smell malodorous? Hakhakhak!

You’re almost 70 old hag of a fag and yet you seem not to learn from your past mistakes.

ESP writing pa rin ang forte mo gayung late 60s ka pa nagsimulang magsulat, halimaw na baklang wala ni kati-ting na kredibilidad. Hakhakhak!

Why don’t you look for a decent living, anorexic fag, instead of focusing on posting some fantasy things about Ms. Vilma Santos and her blockbuster movie The Healing at the net?

Lola, lola, ling, vaklang nangangamoy at may tililing, the last time I was able to talk to Mr. Roxy Liquigan of Star Cinema, he told me pointblank that The Healing grossed 105 million already.

At the net (boxofficemojo), it has been posted that it grossed 73 million no less in twelve days of showing.
So what’s the problem?

Ke 105 million o 73 million on its ten or twelve days of showing, that’s still formidably impressive.

Sa panahong kaliwa’t kanan ang mga bagyo at baha, gigantic accomplishment pa rin sa kaso ni Ate Vi at ng mga artistang kasama (Kim Chiu, Martin del Rosario, Pokwang, Allan Paule, Ynez Veneracion, Mark Gil, Carmi Martin, Ms. Janice de Belen, among many others) niya sa obra ni Direk Chito S. Ronio na kumita ng ganong kalaking hala -ga ang pelikulang kanilang ginawa.

Palibhasa’y you’re afflicted with dementia (it shows naman on how gory you look at your favorite number 69..Ha -hahahahahaha!) kaya befuddled na ang iyong Alzhiemer’s disease-laddened mind.

I guess you need to consult a psychiatrist, Vavalina biglang tsaka (Vavalina biglang tsaka raw talaga, o! Haha -hahahaha!) because something appears to be grossly wrong with you.
Imagine, mega hit na nga ang suspense horror movie ng reigning Batangas lady governor and yet you still have the effrontery to make it appear that it’s a flop!

Kilabutan ka, dulduling mabahongang matanda!

Yuck! Umaalingasaw ang halitosis mo even if I don’t get to see your ugly face anymore. Hahahahahahaha!

Honestly, no matter what you do, it’s not going to change the fact that The Healing made a killing at the box-office, further attesting to the box-office supremacy of the Queenstar for all seasons.

Umangal ka pa’t susungalngalin ko na ang ngetpalites mong pagmumukha! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

You’re so yucky and kadiri!

Ang tanda-tanda mo na’t peklatin, kulu-lulubot pa ang panget at vavalina mong pagmumukha and yet you’re still vey much wanting of credibility.

Ang mukha ko, it’s being seen on national television, at the net, and at the tabloids I write for.

Why don’t you have your ugly beyond belief physiognomy published so people would know how diabolically ugly you look! Harharharharhar!

Grabeeeeeee! You’re sooo ugly!

‘Yun lang!


Mr. Randy at your service!

Hahahahahaha! His name is as intriguing as his libidinous personality.

For Mr. Randy is indeed as lustful as his name suggests. Hahahahahahahaha!

Take a look at his photo and be the judge if he can be your possible randy mate tonight. Hahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hahahahahahahahahaha!



Nostalgiang balita ang hatid ng radio show ni Ferminata    

FOR wanting of better things to do on an abysmal and gloomy Friday afternoon, Abe decided to listen to Ferminata’s radio show.

And true enough, everything that our avid listeners at DWIZ (882 Khz in your radio dial Monday thru friday from 2 to 3pm) had reported about the show is true! Hahahahahahahaha!

Sa one and a half hours na tinakbo ng programa, wala nang ginawa si Ferminatext kundi batiin ang mga connect nila kung saan-saang lupalop.

At least, wah na siya pagka-zing kaya hindi na broken eardrums ang drama ng mga listeners. Hahahahahaha!

Nevertheless, if you’re the kind who loves to listen to some supposedly earth-shaking news about the interes-
ting people in the business, the show’s a big letdown. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sa buong isang oras, walang binabalitang showbiz items si Lola Fermi at sa last ten or fifteen minutes lang siya nagtu-talkies, puro nostaliga pa at tungkol sa kanya. Hahaha!

Cheaaaapppp! Hahahaha!

Who would be interested to listen to her exploits and episodic ka-cheap-an? Hahahahahahahaha!

Ilusyunada talaga itong si Lola Fermi. Feeling niya pakikinggan sila dahil lang sa ten-minuteer na along memory lane na kanyang kwento.

Cheeeaaaappppp! Hahahahahahahahaha!
I’d rather sleep!

No wonder, wala ito ni isang commercial. Hahahahahahahahaha!


Glenn Roy, Mr. Senti

OUT of the twenty Proteges who are competing for the major prize of 12 million, Glenn Roy palpably stands out with his good looks and sentimental bearings.

Imagine, tinanong lang namin siya tungkol sa kanyang pamilya, teary-eyed na agad siya dahil hiwa-hiwalay raw sila at never pang nagkasama-sama kahit araw ng Pasko.

His mom works for the reigning vice-mayor of Tarlac while his dad stays in Davao.

His two sisters and one brother work in Manila, the very reason why they very seldom get to see each other even during Christmas day.

Asked about his fondest dream in life, he says it’s about earning enough money so his family would be together again in one roof.

Well, he’s got the looks and the talent as well. Sana nga’y matupad ang pangarap niyang manalo para one big happy family na silang muli.

Incidentally, Protege goes on the air every Sunday after I Bilib on GMA’s Sunday Grande block.

The 15 minuteer daily updates that’s being hosted by Ms. Jennylyn Mercado is seen daily after One True Love.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com
and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my
love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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