Mahilig mamangka sa dalawang ilog!

SIMPLE lang (di makabasag-pinggan talaga ang arrive..Hakhakhak!) pero may kakatihan pala ang sweet-imaged na young actress na ‘to.

Unbeknown to most, matagal-tagal na rin pala siyang namamangka sa dalawang ilog.

Yes, Virginia! she’s supposedly very much on with this young and dusky-skinned young actor while she discreet- ly maintains a lover on the sly.

A lover on the sly? Carry n’yo ‘yun?
Hahahahahahahahaha!

Sa pagka-sweet niyang ‘yun, (para talagang virginal ang arrive) two-timer pala ang tisay na young actress at dalawang personalidad ang kanyang ka-churvahan? Hahahahahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, I can’t blame her for the young actor she’s presently having an intimate relationship which happens to be a veritable looker while the young man she keeps on the sly happens to be well-connected but not half as handsome as the diminutive actor.

But who is bigger? I mean, better endowed? Hakhakhak!
Ma at pa!

That’s for you guys to know and for me to find out. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, kaya pala tagung-tago ang kanilang relasyon ay dahil sa may ibang masasagasaan. Hakhakhak!

Tindi talaga ng girlalu na ‘to.

Kaya pala di niya pansin noon ang isa sa dalawang leading men niya sa afternoon soap na ‘yun na nag-introduce sa kanya sa show business ay dahil sa meron na siyang ka-churvahan.

Appearances can indeed be pretty deceiving.

Tama!

***

Papa Jack at your service!

Hahahahahahaha! HE’S not a super famous male model but his looks and gorgeous physique would make the hottest male models of today green with envy. For Papa Jack is certainly appetizing to look at with his long legs, well-sculpted body and long dick.

Long dick daw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!

Watch out for his looming endorsements soon!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Gov. Vi is thankful that Batangas is not prone to floods and typhoons

ACCORDING to Ate Aida Fandialan, Governor Vilma Santos Recto’s most trusted employee and confidant, her boss is thankful that Batangas had not been severely hit by the past calamities except for some occasional rain and showers.

“Medyo hilly kasi,” ventures Ate Aida, “ang place and well-protected by trees.

“Hindi kasi kalbo ang place.”

Nevertheless, the lady governor still assiduously goes around the various cities and municipalities to ensure the safety of her constituents.

So far, she had been to San Juan, Talisay, Nasugbu, among other places in Batangas.

Regarding naman sa mga relief operations, as much as possible, she shuns away from teevee coverage and the me dia as a whole.

Lagi naman daw talagang tumutulong si Ate Vi but she wants to avoid the working press when it comes to matters like this.

Anyway, on to other things, nakatanggap kami ng ilang text messages coming from Ronald Garcia. An avid Vilmanian who’s working right now in Abu Dhabi.

“Thanks a lot sa suporta at pagmamahal kay ate Vi,” he enthuses. “Sana’y huwag kang magsasawa.

“Palagi kong binabasa ang mga write-ups mo about her at talagang happy kaming mga Vilmanians rito sa UAE.

“August 16,” he asseverates, “we will watch The Healing here!”

Nice naman.

And speaking of The Healing, I don’t want to put the Noranians down but some of them are not fair and just and can’t accept the fact that the Star Cinema suspense/horror flick (The Healing) has turned out to be a verita- ble blockbuster.

Lagi na, they keep on harping about their idol’s Thy Womb which, inasmuch as it’s megged by an award-winning director, does not have the promise of a blockbuster movie.

Patawarin ako ng mga Noranians, huh? But I do believe that it’s going to be lacklusterly accepted at the box-
office.

Nora Aunor, beyond reasonable doubt, is a remarkable actress but her box-office prowess is no longer the same, intensity-wise, these days as it was before.

Her flagging box-office appeal can largely be attributed to her indifference to her fans and her being more focused with John Rendez.

Anyway, I don’t want to be a prophet of doom but I can see a bleak future in as far as Nora’s life is concern.

I don’t have to explain why.

Knows n’yo na ‘yun.

‘Yun lang!

***

Direk Jeffrey Jeturrian perseveres!

IF I’m not mistaken, I was able to meet top-caliber movie and television director Jeffrey Jeturian during his salad days with Regal films doing sensible films like Pila Balde with the still svelte Ana Capri on the lead.

After a decade or two, I’m glad that Direk Jeffrey is still very much around, albeit he has now diversified into the boob-tube and is now co-directing the Jodi Sta. Maria and Richard Yap-starrer blockbuster soap Be Careful with my Heart with Direk Mervyn Brondial.

How would he compare the actors of the 90s with the new millennium ones?

“I would say na pareho naman silang magagaling,” he avers. “The only difference lies with the kind of mate- rials that the actors of today are being given.

“Mas demanding siyempre dahil it’s the year 2012 and so many things have changed already.”

And speaking of changes, marami ang nakapapansin at pumupuri sa kakaibang visual quality ng new soap nila for ABS CBN na Be Careful with my Heart, ano ang sikreto nito?

“Be Careful With My Heart is the first soap of ABS-CBN that is shot on HD or high-definition camera.

“That explains the glossy look of the show when people watch it onscreen, plus we shoot the series film-style so it has the feel, look, and ‘magic’ of a movie.”

Ano sa palagay n’yo ang kakaibang dulot ng programa sa mga manonood kaya mainit ang pagsuporta nila rito?

“The success of the show can be attributed to a lot of things. First, the soap is effective as a romance come- dy. There’s chemistry between Jodi as Maya and Richard as Richard. Jodi is effective as the naive and pure-hearted nanny to the deaf kid of the stern and stone-hearted widower played by Richard. The followers of the soap is looking forward to the day when Maya will be able to melt Richard’s heart.”

Well, it’s nice to know that good directors are back on mainstream television.

Sana nga’y magtuluy-tuloy na si Direk Jeffrey para mai-share naman niya ang kanyang expertise in this department na masasabing ‘pinanday’ na ng panahon.

***

Dapat huwag nang magradyo si Ferminata!

SINASAYANG lang ni Lola Ferminata ang air time sa radyo ng TV5.

Sa totoo, masyadong self-serving ang pagra-radyo niya at hindi entertaining.

Dapat sa kanya’y magnganga na lang sa mansyon niya sa Parada, Valenzuela city dahil walang katorya-torya ang ginagawa nilang pagra-radyo.

Gurangga, why don’t you listen to Star na Star at DWIZ (882 khz in your radio dial, 2 to 3 pm Monday thru Friday) for you to know what hosting a showbiz-oriented talk show is all about.

Ang cheap-cheap ng style mo, ning!

Nakaririmarim! (O, hayan, ha? Gurang na syonga, salitang ugat ang inuulit! Hahahahahahaha!)

No wonder, zero commercial load kayo dahil wala ka nang kinuwento sa last ten or fifteen minutes ng inyong programa kundi nostalgic episodes n’yo of some ten or fifteen years ago. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Palagay mo naman ikaw si Vilma Santos o si Nora Aunor kaya na interesado ang publikong malaman ang inside stories ng kanilang buhay. Hakhakhak!

Ang cheap!

Pa-lipo mo na lang ang sooo laki mong tiyanetch (sooo laki raw, o! Hahahahaha!) at ipabatak mo ang nagsa-sag mo ng panga para gumanda-ganda ang hitsura mo. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun lang muna, lola! Bukas uli.

Bukas uli raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Cutie at may appeal palang talaga si Benjamin Alves!

WELL-attended ang presscon ng Guni-Guni ng Regal Entertainment Inc. in spite of the heavy downpour of rains.

Na-late man ang ibang members ng cast like the very sexy James Blanco, nauna namang dumating ang lead actress nitong si Love Poe, ang leading man niyang totoy na totoy pala ang arrive in person (parang dripping with milk pa siya sa totoo lang! Hahahahahahaha!) na si Benjamin Alves, ang stunningly beautiful na si Empress, ang new comer na si Ria Garcia at ang lady (?) director nitong si Ms. Tara Illenberger.

Kung si James ay well-toned na ang katawan at very macho talaga ang dating with his suit, may baby fats pa si Benjamin na nali-link kay Lovi Poe lately. Hahahahahahaha!

Baby fats notwithstanding, katilam-tilam talaga ang over-all projection ng bagets na newcomer.

The fact na nephew raw siya ni Piolo Pascual makes him all the more interesting in the eyes of the ever nosy press. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Kapag nagsasalita na siya, may traces talaga ng way of talking ni Papa P although he sounds a lot younger and vulnerable unlike his uncle who’s already confident and unruffled even when asked some impertinent questions by the working press. Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, may intimate scenes pala rito sina Lovi at Benjamin at shot behind closed doors raw ang mga ito.
O, di ba naman? Hakhakhak!

Kidding aside, may promise ang bagets pati na rin ang suspense/thriller ni Direk Illenberger na parang hawig kay Ana Capri. Hahahahahahaha!

Konting diet lang, puede ng sexy actress si Direk. Hahahahahahahaha!

Joke!

Anyway, the movie’s opening on August 22 in some cinemas near you.

Pakiagapan ito dahil bonggacious na naman ang portrayal ni Lovi Poe as usual, idagdag mo pa si Empress, di ba’t swak na swak lalo na’t masa-sight mo ang kamachuhan ni James Blanco on the side? Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na! Kita-kits sa mga sinehan sa Aug. 22.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com
and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much.
___________________________

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