Chongki para magkaroon ng hard-on!

AMUSING naman ang chikang nasagap namin tungkol sa isang aktresa na medyo nagkakaedad na kaya pumapayag na lang daw sa tripping ng kanyang paparu na chumongki muna bago sila mag-churvahan. Hahahahahahaha!

How insulting can you get!

Imagine, your boyfriend is having a hard time achieving a huge erection when you are supposedly beautiful and at the prime of your femininity. Hahahahahaha!

But according to the rumor mill, that is exactly what’s happening right now between this two iconic personalities. Hahahahaha!

Dahil matagal na silang nagkakasama, parang di na gaanong in the mood si papang churvahin si mama kaya payag na lang itong gumamit sila ng ‘appetizer’.

Appetizer raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

In a way, nakatutulong rin daw ito sa pagda-diet ng mataray na aktres kaya oks na rin sa kanya.

Well, ang di niya alam, may rebound effect ito, di ba?

Kapag hindi na siya mag-take nito, baka matulad siya sa iba riyang lomobo at hirap nang ibalik ang slim na pangangatawan.

Anyway, this chongki episode must be the reason why this good-looking actor appears to be looking somewhat spaced out sometimes and kind of sloven, too! Hahahahahahahaha!

Whatever, a lot of people believe that the marriage proposal that this aging ham actress dreams of will never see the light of day.

Sawa na raw kasi ang may edad na rin namang aktor at di magtatagal ay baka magkahiwalay na rin sila nang tuluyan.

Oo nga naman. ‘Yun na!

‘Yan kasi ang mahirap kung naibigay mo na lahat-lahat sa isang lalake ang lahat-lahat sa ‘yo.

Ano pa ba ang reason para pakasalan ka niya when he can have you without any sense of obligations or commitment?

Poor woman, she seems to be heading for heartbreak city pretty soon.

Que pobrecita! Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Vice Gov Daniel walang weather sa mga intriga!

KAHIT na binibira siya ni Lola Fermi, the old dugyutic matrona (dugyutic matrona raw, o! Hahahahaha!) sa mga pralalaic columns nito from time to time, cool lang si Vice-governor Daniel Fernando.

Ang main concern niya ay ang kanyang constituents sa Bulacan at never siyang pumatol sa mga cheap na parunggit ng oslang radio and teevee personality. Hakhakhak!

Humalhal (what a word! I suppose you know it pretty well, lola! Hahahahahaha!) man ang dela (dela raw talaga,  o! Hahahaha!) mo sa kababanat sa kanya, to no avail.

VG Daniel would never stoop to your debased level and would never give you the satisfaction of knowing that he gets affected with your cheap tirade. Hakhakhak!

Paayos mo na lang kasi ang busalsal mong ilong at palipo ang sooo laki mong tiyanetch at panga (pati raw panga, o! Harharhar!) para magkaroon ka naman nang maayos-ayos na projection on cam at di ba ganyang di ka makatayo dahil you’re acutely embarrass to show to all and sundry your gigantic tummy.

Gigantic tummy raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Basta si papa Daniel, lalong gumagandang lalake as time goes by dahil malinis ang kanyang kunsensya.

Period. Ayoko ng tsakaaaaaaaah! Hahahahahahaha!

***

Ate Vi, kinukuhang guest co-host ni Kris!

MAY standing offer pala ang Kris TV sa ating queenstar for all seasons na si Ms. Vilma Santos para mag-co-host sa kanyang TV program sa Dos pero inasmuch as she’s interested, she just can’t acquiesce for the simple reason that her work load is full as of the moment.

For the record, occupied raw ang sched ng ating lady governor hanggang end of the year.

For one, magsi-celebrate siya ng kanyang anniversary in show business in November, along with her birthday celebration, too!

On top of that, may book launching pa siya at TV special kaya her hands are definitely full.

Of course we need to consider the fact that she needs to file her candidacy in October kaya di uubrang sumi- ngit ang iba pa niyang showbiz commitments like this movie with either Angel Locsin or Sarah Geronimo for Star
Cinema.

In a way, maganda rin ‘yang may gap ang paggawa niya ng pelikula para lagi na’y an event to look forward to ang kanyang cinematic incursion.

Kaya most probably, June 2013 pa siya makagagawa ng bagong pelikula.

Dapat lang!

***

Supot na Vavingving, namamatay na sa tindi ng inggit!

THIS ugly, emaciated oldies appears to be a mindless fag who’s not in his right frame of mind most of the time.

Araw-araw na lang, wala nang ginawa ang baboy na ‘to kundi mag-text nang mag-text sa amin ng mga nakapandidi ring bagay the whole day and sometimes, up to the wee hours in the morning.

Grabe ang vavalinang supot (yuck! uncircumcized at the ripe old age of 67 years old? how nauseating!) na ‘to. Palibhasa’y wala nang ibang ginagawa kundi mag-post ng mga nakaririmarim (hayan, Bubonic, huh? salitang ugat ang inuulit..Hahahahahahaha!) na bagay at paglaruan ang mga taong malalapit sa amin.

Anyway, this ugly beyond belief fag is being shunned away from by the men he gets to meet basically because of the foul-smell that grossly emanates from his body and his filthy mouth as well.

Halitosis, anyone? Hakhakhak!

Araw-araw, nagpo-post rin daw ng kung anu-anong kaokrayan sa website ng Remate ang baboy na ‘to na lumamon at  nakitira sa amin ng almost 20 years (off and on, that is) and yet it seems as if he’s making it appear that I’m the one who’s heavily indebted to him.

Kasuka! Inampon mo na at pinatirang parang prinsesa at ni hindi nagwawalis man lang ng bahay n’yo ang dugyot na mabahongang matandang ito, tapos kung birahin ka sa internet para bang ikaw pa ang may utang na loob sa kanya?

Kadiri, di ba naman?

Baboy sa dilang baboy kaya ang itzu ay tunay namang nakapandidiri!

Honestly, ang tindi-tindi talaga ng kapal ng mukha ng gurangis na ‘to na asal-senora pero wala namang anda. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ang panget-panget mo, baklang halimaw. Pakamatay ka na lang tutal naman wala namang nagmamahal sa ‘yo.

I-post mo nga pala ang latest picture mo para magka-idea sila kung gaano ka kapanget, hinayupak na supotelyang gurang na bakla!

No matter what you do, no one would pay any scant attention.

Naturingang mga kapatid mo nga, sinusuka ka, why would other people care? Hahahahahahaha!

Si Madam Marynette Gamboa nga, muntik ka nang sapakin nu’ng time na nakatira ka pa sa amin ni Nong had I not intervene. Hahaha!

Anyway, I’m sure na happy ka dahil nasulat ka na naman sa tabloid na mabenta. Hahahahahaha!

Ingat! Pag nagkita tayo, tutuliin kitang hayup ka sa harap ng maraming tao. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Tanda-tanda mo na, supot ka pa!

Babutsh, gurang na nuknukan ng pagkabalahura! Harharhar!

***
   
A big honor for me: Jayke Reyes on  singing for the queen of Thailand

JAYKE Reyes, the latest addition to Backroom’s roster of talents planed in from Thailand where she represented the country in the Asean Music for the Queen. There were about ten delegates from the different Asian countries.

At the festival, Jayke sang two solo numbers and performed with other Asian singers.

“Nagpapasalamat po ako at binigyan ako ng pagkakataon na mag represent sa ating bansa. It was a special occa- sion because we sang for the Queen of Thailand,” said Jayke. She also made a courtesy call to the Queen of England along with the other Asean singers.

For her solo numbers, she chose Anak, popularized by Freddie Aguilar and We are in This Together sang by Patti Austin. Jayke thoroughly prepared for the event. She attended workshops and voice lessons, practiced her songs and exercised. “It’s really a big honor for me.” She wore a gown by Frederick Peralta.

Next month, Jayke will release the CD-Lite which will be bannered by the carrier single, Jayke’s remake of Kay Palad Mo penned by Jimmy Antiporda and Jamie Rivera, arranged by Arnold Buena and popularized by Lilet. Also included is Ferris Wheel, a song originally performed by Regine Velasquez.

Raised in the USA, Jayke attended the Los Angeles High School for the Arts, trained with Seth Riggs (who also taught the late Michael Jackson), done commercials and auditioned for shows on Nickelodeon and Disney.

Despite her exposure, Jayke realizes that moving to the Philippines to launch a career means starting all over again. She is coming into an industry dominated by people like Sarah and Angeline Quinto, not to mention the likes of Regine Velasquez, and if she wants to find a place, she’s going to have to work doubly hard.

“As a singer, I really think I give my all. I know every singer gives their all, but I have a different quality from other singers, and I’m really dedicated. I know I can do anything. I’m really focused,” she says.

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