Di nga katangkaran, punung-puno naman!

BAGAMA’T di naman katangkaran, marami ang nagulat sa bulging crotch ng singer/actor na ‘to na punung-puno raw talaga ng K. Hakhakhak!

Hayan at sa dinami-rami nga raw ng mga mhin na nangagsisipagtangkaran, namumukod-tangi ang ‘alaga’ ng not-so-tall na alternative singer na ‘to in terms of bulk. Hahahahahaha!

Sa kaso niya, natimbog ang kasabihang height is might!

Sandamukal nga siguro ang mas matatangkad compared sa kanya pero pagdating sa size ng kargada ay timbog sila ni kuya.

No wonder, siya ang nanalo sa pagmamahal ng isang kontrobersyal na sexy actress.

Wala raw kasing binesa sa size ng kanyang tarugs ang more than six feet na dyowa rati ng kanyang live-in mama na nagkaroon lang ng arrive ang nota nang pa-injectionan ng collagen ng mama nitong nasa beauty and augmentation business. Hahahaha!

Di ba naman? Hakhakhak!

Come to think of it, the impressive size of his genitals must be the reason why this Hawaii-based Pinay singer was enormously enamored with him a couple of years ago.

Chalap, chalap raw kasi ang tarugs ni papa, wala talagang keber ang girlalung magpabalik-balik sa Pinas mereseng so layo ng kanyang nilalakbay every time. Hahahahahaha!

Ang nagagawa nga naman ng tarugs na dakota sa isang babae, oo! Hahahahaha!
‘Yun na!

***

Nakabibilib talaga si Ate Vi!

IBA talaga ang record na naitala ni Governor Vilma Santos di lang sa local showbusiness kundi maging sa field of politics man.

Imagine, from 300 contenders for the Presidential Lingkod Bayan awardee that will be awarded today at the Malacañang Palace, it was trimmed down to 9, and had ultimately become a toast between 2 finalists – Mayor Hagedorn and Governor Vilma Santos Recto.

‘Yan kasi ang maganda kung na-establish mo ang iyong credibility sa industriyang ito.

Through the years, Ate Vi has consistently become the public service to emulate.

Unbeatable talaga ang kanyang stamina kung pag-iikot sa kanyang constituents ang pag-uusapan.

Nito na lang nakaraang Feast day of Mary Mediatrix sa Taal, Batangas last September 12, apat na oras ang kanilang episode sa ilog pero cool na cool lang si Ate Vi habang patang-pata na ang lahat halos ng mga tao, the press in particular, na hindi sanay sa kanyang rigorous working sched. Hahahahaha!

Kami nga ay nag-beg-off talaga dahil sa napuyat kami the night before sa NPC night kung saan nag-assist kami sa guest singer naming si Natasha Ledesma kaya ang 4am na sched for departure ay di namin talaga kinaya.

Anyway, congratulations to Governor Vi for this new accomplishment in the field of politics.

Sino nga ba ang mag-aakalang ang may insomniang tulad niya ay magagawang gumising ng 4 in the morning para sa mga ganitong commitments? Hahahahaha!

Ibang-iba na talaga si Ate Vi at labis naman itong ikinatutuwa ng kanyang mga tagasubaybay all over the archipelago and all over the globe as well.

***

Dapat mag-aral ng speech at grammar!

TAWANAN to-the-max ang mga otawzing na nakapanood sa delayed telecast ng isang award giving body para sa mga entertainment people kamakailan sa telebisyon.

Co-host ba naman ng isang artikuladang personalidad ang gandara nga siguro at magaling na young actress pero syongaers namang tunay, di ba naman nakatatawa?

Sana man lang, iba na lang ang ginawang co-host ng dripping with kasosyalan na singer-actress at hindi ‘yung maganda nga siguro at batang aktres pero obvious namang kulang sa knowhow when it comes to hosting an event such as the one she was assigned to.

Ang ending, nagmukha tuloy siyang si Dumb Dora. Hahaha! Nagmukha raw si Dumb Dora, o! Hakhakhak!

Ang moral ng story, hindi sapat ang ganda para gawing barometer sa pagho-host ng isang event na kailangan ang intelligence.

Halatang amused na amused ang sosyaladang singer/actress sa katangahan ng kanyang co-host, she tried to level up with her Dumb Dora ways by trying to go down to her debased level but to no avail. To no avail raw, o! Hakhakhak!

Kahit ano’ng gawin ng esekolang aktres, lutang na lutang pa rin ang kanyang intelligence at kasosyalan.

Tama nga siguro ang ginawang personalized tutoring ng manager ng batang aktres para di naman ito nagmumukhang tanga in occasions such as this.

Period. Ayoko ng syonga! Hahahahahahaha!

***

Ms. Caloocan ang bagong Miss Silka Metro Manila 2012

ANG Ms. Caloocan na si Ms. Kristi Banks ang nanalong Miss Silka Metro-Manila 2012 sa grand pageant that was staged at the Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall last September 14.

Stand-out ang beauty niya sa swimwear, casual wear, and long gown division kung saan properly highlighted ang kanyang makinis na balat that is properly cared for by Silka Papaya soap and lotion.

First runner-up si Christine Almaden (Antipolo), 2nd runner-up si Lyra Velchez (Las Pinas) at 3rd runner-up si Cristia Gail Ocampo (Quezon city).

Said event was hosted by model/host Steve Patrick and Miss Silka 2010 grand winner Ms. Imee Hart.

The pageant, incidentally, continues with the search for Miss Silka Cavite, Laguna and Batangas.

Miss Silka Metro Manila is a Jumpstart production with Executive Producer Wheyee Lozada, Marketing Director John Jimenez and Pageant Director Robin Jose.

***

Carla Guevarra endures!

CARLA Guevarra Laforteza used to be a member of ABS CBN’S Star Magic but after giving it a try for quite sometime, she has come to realize that she’s more at home with stage.

Besides, being married and with three kids to look after, limit her mobility and ability to cope with the highly erratic working sched of movie people.

She used to stay abroad with her husband who used to be an actor, too, but having kids has made her change her mind and decided to stay in the Philippines for good instead.

“Me and my husband,” says one of the stars of the play Nine that’s slated to get staged from September 21 to October 7 2012 at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium, RCBC Plaza, Makati city,”we can’t be together for a long time ‘coz by then, we would be after each other’s throat. Hahahahahahaha!,” she adds with a banter.

“Honestly, I like it more in our country,” she avers. “I can do acting onstage while taking care of my kids on the side.”

But how does she manage?

“I send them off to school and then I sleep for an hour and then off to rehearsals.
“I would cook our lunch and dinner the night before so I don’t need to do it during the day.”

In the play Nine, she plays the role of Guido Contini’s neurotic mistress Carla Albanese who’s hoping for a permanent place in his life.

Carla has appeared with Atlantis in Manila and Singapore as Kate Monster in Avenue Q and Olive in Spelling Bee.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com
and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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