Mas feel ang morenong dakila compared sa gwaping na tisoy na dyuts!

KA-AMUSE naman ang eksena ng dalawang young actors na ‘to sa kanilang demure at di sex-oriented na talent manager. Hahahahahahaha!

Dahil very supportive sa kanila ito, magiliw sa kanya ang dalawa niyang katilam-tilam na talents.

‘Yung tisoy na eskalera ang pagmumukha at flawless ang skin tone, madalas raw magparamdam sa demure na manager but to no avail.

Di naman absolutely deadma ang good-natured gay manager. Tipong indifferent lang siya dahil hindi siya ‘yung tipong pumapatol sa kanyang mga alaga dahil nagiging kumplikado raw ang set-up pagka ganon. Hahahahahaha!

Pero nawala ang kanyang deadmatic stance minsang samahan niya ang moreno niyang talent na mas brusko ang dating at rumored na dakota. Dakota raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!

For wanting of better things to do, nagpapahangin raw sa labas ng kanyang cottage ang demure na manager nang lapitan siya ng moreno niyang alaga. Hahahahahaha!

Kinabahan daw ang manager nang titigan siya, in a highly suggestive manner, at hawakan ang kanyang kamay sabay patong sa namumukol (namumukol raw talaga, o! How sexciting! Hahahahahaha!) nitong crotch.

Of course he wasn’t born yesterday. He instinctively knew what he was hankering for.

To make a long story short, a hot, passionate interlude in bed followed and the gay talent manager was smiling from ear to ear after the first round.

After the first round raw, o! Hakhakhak!

Pano naman raw kasi, bukod sa makinis ang brown skinned actor, katilam-tilam pa ang kanyang succulent tarugs. Hahahahahahahaha!

Tsalap, tsalap raw kaya usa pa gani ang nasambit ng moaning with ecstacy na young actor, to which his gay manager gamely obliged. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Hitsura ng legendary expertise ni Linda Lovelace sa demure na manager kaya di na raw halos maipinta ang mukha ni young sexy actor sa tuwing idi-deepthroat ng ating lola. Hakhakhak!

Pareho nga naman silang tigang dahil parehong walang involvement kaya swak na swak ang kanilang libido. Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Reunion movie nina Ate Vi at Mama Guy malamang matuloy

SANG-AYON sa mga bali-balita, malamang na matuloy raw ang movie na pagsasamahan nina Queenstar Vilma Santos at Superstar Nora Aunor under the competent direction of Brillante Mendoza.

The rumor mill has it that Queen Vi has already said yes to the fame director’s offer for her to co-star with perennial arch rival Superstar Nora Aunor and Coco Martin in a heavy family drama to be produced by Star Cinema no less in one condition, shooting of the said project would have to commence only right after the 2013 election.

Brillante averred that he’s more than willing to wait for Vilma’s availability and will resolve the billing problem between the two great actresses by emulating what famed director Danny Zialcita did in the movie T-Bird at Ako some three decades ago.

Imagine, ganon na pala ‘yun katagal pero naririto pa rin ang dalawang titans sa industriya at nagsasabog pa rin ng kakaibang ningning.

Iba naman kasi ang kanilang stature at narating sa industriya.

Stars come and go but the likes of Ate Vi and Ate Guy have remained unmatched through the years.

Dapat lang!

***

A gentleman through & through

NAPAKABAIT talaga nitong si Vice-governor Daniel Fernando.

Hayan at kahit binabalahura siya ni Ferminata, da oslang gurangga (osla raw, o! Hakhakhak!) sa kanyang cheaply written columns ay cool lang siya and not even once did he attempt to fight back.

A veritable man of few words, he never makes any biting tirade or say nasty words against anybody’s back.

No wonder, his constituents have always believed in his integrity and honesty and capability as a public servant.

Wala talagang masamang tinapay kay VG Daniel and I, for one, can vouch for his dignity and credibility since I’ve known him way back during the late 80s.

‘Yun lang!

***

Kumita raw, o!

NAA-AMUSE naman kami sa mga bukekeng hit raw ang latest movie ng tigang sa ratbulites (tigang sa ratbulites  raw, o! Hakhakhak!) na komedyana.

Sa true, below the lofty expectations raw ng mga produ ang naging outcome nito sa box-office. Harharhar!

Bakit kaya gayung certified hits naman ang mga nakaraan niyang pelikula?

Well, dapat raw ay sa isang sikat na movie company lang (na bongga ang promo chuvanes..Hahahaha!) gumagawa ng movie ang tabatsinang lola (Tabatsinang lola raw, o! Hakhakhak!) para napu-protektahan niya ang kanyang box-office status.

‘Yung nag-produce naman kasi ng kanyang latest movie ay kuringking naman daw mag-promo kaya sumemplang ang movie ng di kagandahan pero consummate performer na aktres.

I haven’t seen the movie but some well-meaning friends of the aging actress are purportedly complaining about her lovescenes, even if they are done in a highly comedic light.

Chaka raw itong lumabas kaya di fellanggetch ng mga otawzing. Hakhakhak!

Baka nakunan ang mga bilblash ng wrangler ng aktres kaya na-turned-off ang mga otaw. Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Bonggacious ang album launch ni Bea Binene

STAR talaga ang GMA talent na si Bea Binene.

Talaga namang tinao ang album launch niya sa Skydome sa SM North EDSA yesterday afternoon kung saan sinuportahan rin siya ng mga kapwa Kapuso actors na sina Derrick Monasterio, Kristopher Martin at Jake Vargas.

Nu’ng una, kokonti lang talaga ang tao pero nang bandang late afternoon na, roon na humugos in full force ang kanyang mga supporters na walang takot na nangagsipagtayuan, mereseng inaawat sila ng guards on duty, habang kinakanta ng kanilang idolo ang bouncy opening number nitong Urung Sulong that was earlier recorder by Ms. Regine Velasquez.

Looking at Bea, tipong woman of the world na ang kanyang projection sa kanyang mga pictorials. In attendance rin ang controversial na lawyer na nali-link sa kanya at narun pa rin ang deejay na sinasabing
may special feelings sa kanya.

Ganuned?

Na-touch kami kay Ms. Connie Tunggol na maayos kaming sinaludar ni Papa Umang (Abelardo Paulite) kahit na may konting tampuhang namagitan sa amin before.

Mommy Carina Binene was, as always, the paradigm of good PR as she entertained us simply but sincerely.

***

Butiking Pasay na supot, di napapakali!

THIS uncircumcized fag appears to have stayed in a time warp.

Kung anu-anong kapraningan ang pinu-post sa internet gayung matagal nang nangyari ang mga ‘yun, kundi man sa bornok niyang ilusyon lang nag-i-exist. Hahahahaha!

Baliw na yata itong si Kuflangga de Castrue kaya out of intense envy, kung anik-anik na lang ang pumapasok sa kanyang bornok na isipan. Hahahahahaha!

I’ve said this for the umpteenth time and I will say it again. Our house in Naga city is no longer existing since it has already been sold some two decades ago and is presently owned by another family.

The funny thing is that Vavalina would continuously harp on his very much wanting of credibility postings that it’s now purportedly abandoned and in a sorry state of decay. Hahahahahaha!

Tarantadong baliw na supot! Wala ka talagang credibility kahit kailan.

Kunsabagay, pati nga younger sister kong nananahimik ay binabalahura pa rin ng tipaklong na ‘to at pinararatangan ng kung anu-anong nakaririmarim na bagay.

Ang latest nga, this emaciated, dick-fellating ugly as a gremlin fag had purportedly gone to my alma matter in Naga city to supposedly inquire if I did study there and the answer was allegedly very much on the negative.
Hahahahahahaha!

Ang mabuti pa supot na matanda, bago ka mamatay, (malapit ka ng magsitenta gurangski, di ba naman? Hakhakhak!) maglakad ka muna nang paluhod sa Quiapo para mabawasan ang mga kasalanan mo. Hahahahahahahaha!

Even my son who’s now in the great beyond, he still would include in his diabolical tirade.
You go to hell, old goat. That is where you deserved to be. Hahahahahahaha!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com
and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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