Naging gwaping uli nang mag-fall out of love!

A COUPLE of months ago, shakira kami nang mag-meet kami sa comfort station ng isang sikat na network ng isang young actor who used to be very promising when he started out in the business.

We are not that familiar with him but he’s adoptive dad was our schoolmate in Bicol many years ago.

Honestly, I was appalled with his almost skinny frame when I had a face-to-face encounter wih him at the john that time.

Halos nangangalirang na siya sa kapayatan and his eyes were almonst sunken and devoid of any life.

I deny man niya o ng kanyang adoptive father kaya, I could see that he was into something injurious to his health.

Come to think of it, whatever it was he was into was a veritable waste of time and energy.

His star could have shone brighter than what it is today had he become more focused with his career and not drifting like a log.

More than a year ago, his sensational pic at the internet showing his well-shaped dick hanging loose (hanging loose raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahaha!) supposedly having phone sex with another guy (yes, a guy, not a gal! Hahahaha!) became headline materials in some tabloids and broadsheets columns. Hahahahahaha!

At least hindi siya dyuts unlike most young actors of this generation. Hakhakhak!

Anyhow, you could just imagine our surprise when we bumped into him again at the presscon tendered by the network he’s working for some two weeks ago.

Kasali pala siya roon at leading man siya ng dalawang leading ladies roon.

Nice!

At least hindi naman pala siya nakalimutan ng network na kinabibilangan niya in spite of the plethora of newcomers that are presently swarming around it. Hahahahaha!

Considering that the new breed of newbies are almost ten years younger than he, the young actor looks fresh and healthier and a lot younger, too!

Nawala na ang kanyang durugista look, (durugista look raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) kasabay nang pagbabu niya sa karelasyon niyang young chick na tabachingching na yata lately.

Kunsabagay, being fat, to the point of becoming obese, runs in the young woman’s family. Hahahahahaha!

Welcome back, old boy! I’m sure a lot of gays would once again fantasize about your well-contoured ratbulites.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

I’m sure!

Very, very SURE!

***

The King of Talk reigns supreme!

IF THERE is one personaly on the boobtube lately who’s really hot and being avildy watched, I would honestly say that it’s none other than Kuya Boy Abunda of The Buzz.

Honestly, he’s become a real joy to watch these days primarily because he has loosened up a lot and would know how to make fun of himself on cam.

Kung dati-rati’y medyo too serious siya for comfort and kind of stiff, too, of late he already knows how to laugh at his mistakes and would even mock himself, much to the amusement of his vast audiences.

Kaya naman unbeatable talaga ang The Buzz every Sunday kung saan kasama niya ang magagaling ring sina Toni Gonzaga at Ms. Charlene Gonzales.

Oo nga’t superfab silang mag-deliver ng kanilang tough questions when the occasions needs it, but they also laugh a lot, thereby loosening the tense nerves of their interviewees. Hahahahaha!

No wonder, unmatched ang The Buzz on a Sunday afternoon at ito bale ang kunu-consider na bible ng industriya when it comes to showbiz news and other aspects related to it.

Honestly, sa The Buzz nagko-confide ang mga sikat na personalities tungkol sa mga explosive happening or occurrences sa kanilang buhay.

Kaya halika na at mag-enjoy tayo while waching Kuya Boy, Toni G., and Ms. Charlene at work.

Without a modicum of a doubt, sila ang totoong showbiz authorities sa ngayon.

A kumontra, mapupunta sa animal planet. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Mapupunta raw sa Animal Planet, o! Hakhakhak!

***

Mapi-feature pa rin si Ate Vi pero…

MARAMI ang nagtatanong kung bakit tipong every other day na lang daw namin napi-feature ngayon sa ating tabloid si Governor Vilma Santos.

May tampo raw ba kami sa ating Queenstar for all seasons kaya ‘di na namin siya nasusulat on a daily basis unlike before?

Hahahahahaha!

Ate Vi’s one of the nicest and most accommodating personalities in the business that we’ve met but lately, I have to admit that I tend to run out of materials already. It’s a good thing that the Vilmanians would send me some feeds occasionally and that’s how I’m able to sustain her daily updates in our tabloid.

But writing on a daily basis about a personality, inasmuch as you adore and love her, can be pretty taxing too, especially when you don’t have any access to her on a personal level.

Kaya kung wala siyang updates, wala na rin tayong maisusulat lalo na’t wala naman tayong maisip pa dahil narating na natin ang saturation point na maituturing.

‘Yun lang po ‘yun.

Kaya I decide to take a breather first, lest I become grossly repetitive and monotonous.

Pero siyempre pa, in the event that Ate Vi needs us, lagi naman tayong naririyan and only a phone call away.

***

Ang bagong iibigin!

‘YUNG mga dating humahataw sa fashion collections na ‘yun na every other year kung rumampa ay napagod na yata at wala nang interes na rumampa pa this year kaya parang konti na lang ang umeksena, napintasan pa dahil tipong patang-pata na raw ang mga nota. Hakhakhakhakhak!

Kabaliwed ever! Hahahahahaha!

‘Yun ngang dating daks na flawless na young actor ay piping-pipi na raw ang notrilya at mala-keps na ang dating.

Harharharharhar!

Pa’no kasi, mukhang masyado siyang napapagod sa kanyang extra-curricular activities kaya ang laki (hindi ng ratbulites, noh? Hahahahaha!) ng kanyang ipinangayayat at pati fezlak ay mukhang patang-pata na. Hakhakhak!

I’m sure pati erection ay hirap na rin si kuya.

Harharharharhar!

‘Yun namang isang exhibitionist talaga ay nagkaroon ng deep-seated trauma nang masilip ang kanyang discolored wetpaks (discolored raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) na may kasamang mapa pa raw ng Bicolandia. Hakhakhak!

Kaaning!

Anyhow, may bago na namang pagtitrip-an ang mga vaklung na mahihilig sa mga que sabrosong ratbulites in the peson of this Fil-Norwegian hunk na very prominent pa raw ang crotch nang rumampa sa isang event na mas glam ang packaging. Hakhakhak!

Talagang nagkaroon ng instant erection kuning (instant erection raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak! how gross!) ang mga binabae dahil sa katilam-tilam na crotch (na umaalog-alog, mind you..Hahahahahaha!) ng very accommodating pang papa dahil third rate actor palang. Third rate actor palang daw, o! Hakhakhak!

Well. it’s high time that these ‘old’ hunks should be on their toes.

Baka kasi magising na lang silang pinaglumaan na nang panahon. Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Vavingving supot, aning-aning na!

THIS half moon-faced aborigine is thinking of ways and means how to supposedly put us down at the net.

Hahahahahahaha!

Kung anu-anong mga pantasya ang pinu-post supposedly sa webside ng Remate out of sheer envy. Hahahaha!

Hoy, ubanggetch na gurang na vaklung (ubanggetch na gurang na vaklung raw, o! Hakhakhak!), you’re a goner.

A thing of the past.

A vertiable has been!

Not even the meanest of concoctions you could devise would suffice to put us down. Harharhar!

I’ve said this for the umpteenth time but I’ll say it again. I-post mo ang mukhang tipaklong mong mukha, baklang mukhang ebak, (baklang mukhang ebs raw, o! Hakhakhak!) for the public to know the reason why you envy our ageless handsomeness! Hahahahahahahaha!

Magtatalak ka man buong maghapon at mag-isip nang kung anu-anong paninira, it’s never going to change the fact that you’re old and ugly and ignominiously uncircumcized.

Yuck! Kadiri!

Tanda-tanda na (you’re 67 years old, grannie, admit it fag! Harharhar!), supot pa!

Kadirs talaga! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Bela Padilla pantasya ng mga lengua?

SHOCKING ASIA naman ang balitang nakarating sa aming sa dinami-rami raw ng mga young actresses sa showbizlandia these days, ang protegee ni Ms. Claire dela Fuenteng si Bela Padilla, the Italian-looking GMA artist, ang peg ng mga lenguas. Hahahahahahahaha!

All the more na excited raw ang mga tiboskis now na magpapa-sexy na ang virginal girlalu. Hahahahahahaha!

Nevertheless, marami naman talaga ang lihim na naiintriga sa luscious body ng young actress na bukod sa flawless na ay well-toned and fabulously shaped pa.

Kaya pakaabangan ang kanyang afternoon soap na Magdalena sa GMA-7 kung saan makasasama niya ang kanyang exciting looking leading men na ang mga bukol ay magpapainit sa inyong afternoon viewing.

Magpapainit raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.coam and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong! 

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