Sobrang tigas ng ulo sa kayuyupyop ng yosi ang dahilan ng pagbagsak ng health ni Ferminata!

SOBRANG naaawa na raw ang friend naming si Peter L., sa mga nangyayari sa ngayon kay Lola Ferminata. Talaga lang ha? Hahahahahahahaha!

In our case, since we know her history a lot better than Peter L., we don’t feel a modicum of pity.

Alam n’yo, you are what you eat, along with the kind of lifestyle that you maintain.

Kung totoong may sakit si Lola Fermi dahil nagku-complain daw pala-palagi ng paninikip ng dibdib, whose fault  is it?

Buntot mo, hila mo!

Di ba’t ganyan naman talaga?

Sa edad niyang ‘yan, expected lang na nagsisimula nang maramdaman niya ang mga pagmamalabis sa kanyang katawan when she was a lot younger.

Kung makayupyop kasi ng yosi ang babaeng ito, honestly, para bang wala ng bukas. Hahahahahahaha!

Nu’ng time na madalas pa kaming nagkakasama ng Oro Cang tanderaketch na ‘to, lagi na’y pinaalalahanan namin siya sa kanyang pagiging chain smoker.

Ang kaso, sintigas ng bato ang kanyang ulo at lagi na’y pinaninindigan ang kanyang chain smoking addiction.

‘Yun na nga lang daw ang kanyang happiness (happiness raw, o! Hakhakhak!), ide-deprive pa namin siya ever? Hakhakhakhakhak! Goooooo!

Sino ngayon ang nahihirapan, aber?

Ako nga itong sobrang maingat na sa aking katawan and not eating like an anaconda na tulad niya ay nagkasakit pa nang matindi may ilang taon na ang nakararaan, siya pa kaya? Hahahahahahahaha!

What you sow is what you reap.

Di ba naman?

Magtanim ka ng hangin at bagyo ang iyong aanihin.

The many years of endless chain-smoking and food-tripping episodes are now taking its toll on her health.

Kung dati-rati’y pinagtatawanan lang ni Lola Fermi ang mga paalala ng mga doktor, now that she’s a lot older and her immunity a lot weaker, she can no longer be blase’ about her ailment and cheap vices. Hahahahahaha!

Maaawa siguro ako kung naging maingat naman siya sa kanyang katawan at di lumalamon na parang Vietnamese refugees during the late 60s. Hakhakhak!

Pero hindi nga e. Bukod sa chain smoker, lamunera pang tunay. Hahahahaha!

Pinagtatawan mo ang pagiging health conscious ng isang aesthetician na saba at kamote lang ang kinakain at bibalot sa foil para bongga ang packaging but look at you now?

Isn’t she in the pink of health?

Ikaw, how do you feel this very moment?

Rotten as hell? Hahahahahahaha!

Feeling mo kasi, you’re invincible. That all you need to do is to devour all the food that you want.

Buntot mo, hila mo, lola! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Period. Ayoko ng tsakaaaaa! Harharharharhar!

***

Cobra pinarangalan ang modern Pinoy heroes

ISANG recycling artist (Mark David “Rubberman” Cerezo) na nagtuturo ng creativity and resourcefulness sa mga bata gamit ang recycled rubber material, pulis sa Davao (P/Supt. Dinisio Abude) na nagtayo ng youth camp save “troubled youth” at dating OFW (Leonilo H. Beltran) who founded a skills-training program, ang mga kinilalang first-ever Cobra Energy Drink Pinoy Heroes.

Lahat sila ay sinagupa ang laban ng buhay para magkaroon ng magandang bukas. Ang tatlong Cobra Pinoy Hero awardees ay tumanggap ng tropeo at cash na P100,000. Napili sila mula sa 2,000 inspiring stories na ipinadala.

Present sa awarding ceremony ang 2009 CNN Hero of the Year na si Efren Penaflorida, Tony Meloto, founder of Gawad Kalinga and Maj. Gen. Renato Garcia, executive director of the Help Educate and Rear Orphans (HERO) Foundation, to which Cobra Energy Drink has committed sizable donations over the next five years.

Ayon kay Abe Cipriano, Asia Brewery’s marketing manager, “Ginawa namin ang kampanyang ‘Cobra Mga Kwentong Tunay na Lakas’ dahil naniniwala kami sa tunay na lakas ng Pilipino. This campaign is our way of taking a step towards nation-building, in order to inspire Filipinos to be everyday heroes.”

Idinagdag naman ni Jef Mendoza, Cobra brand manager na “With this tremendous response from Luzon to Mindanao, it was only fitting that Cobra pays tribute to the men who inspire us to become better as a nation.”

Dapat lang!

***
 
Comparison is odious!

After five decades in the business, Queenstar Vilma Santos deserves a niche solely all her very own at the celluloid firmament.

And why not?

She’s been most consistently hardworking and a pillar of strength to her family and to her constituents in Batangas.

She is not perfect and she never did have the illusion that she is, but Ate Vi has always been most commendable as a public servant and a real artist in its most authentic meaning.

Kaya naman in the five decades that she has stayed in the business, her star has remained brightly shining and has never been eclipsed by new ones whose staying power is basically fleeting and ephemeral.

Indeed, stars come and go but the Queenstar for all Season has remained stellar and emitting a glow solely her own and consistently shining for all the people to ogle at and be amazed of.

Her fabled beauty, after all, comes from within.

Intrigahin man siyang plastic, at least marami siyang pinaliligaya sa kanyang efforts na makilala ang mga baguhang manunulat sa industriya and become dynamic in the process.

Kidding aside, and we are saying this without a modicum of malice or cattiness, mas feel na lang siguro nang nakararami sa industriya ang isang artista na ginagawang obligasyon ang kilalanin ang mga baguhang manunulat kaysa tawagin sila in a highly insidious generic manner. Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun lang!

***

Hangal na supot, akala’y maaapektuhan ako sa mga ka-cheap ang pinu-post niya sa internet

I’VE said this before and I’ll say it again for the umpteenth time, before you have the bravura to say those cheap concoctions at the net, have your smallish vagina (vagina raw, o! Hakhakhak!) be circumcized first, Vavalina. Hahahahahahahaha!

Yosi-kadiri ka, gurang na chaka (gurang na, chaka pa raw, o! Harharhar!). You stink, in all honesty, with your emaciated duldolic body and keps that’s loaded with sapalic (sapalic raw, o! Harharhar!) manifestations. Hahahahahahaha!

Before you have the chutzpa (would you know the meaning of that word, Lolaskang Chaka? Harharhar!) or the temerity to hit me with those imagined stories that you yourself believe in diabolically, why don’t you post your ugly emaciated pic so people would have an idea with regard to your festering with ugliness physiognomy? Hahahahahahahaha!

Panget na nga, otra vez, senorita pa ang kalooban. Hahahahahahahaha!

No wonder, no man would touch you with a ten-foot pole.

Ngetpalites na nga, mabahonga (halitosis, anyone? Harharharharhar!) pa. Hakhakhakhak!

Magbagu-bago ka na, baliw na gurangisita (baliw na gurangisita raw, o! how so very yucky! Hahahaha!) bago mo makaharap si Taning.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Tagabitbit lang kita ng aking laptop, ugly beyond belief na matanda.

Admit it and die in peace.

Die in peace raw talaga, o! Hahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Sir, walang makatalbog!

ON a Saturday afternoon, lahat yata ng teevee sets sa buong kapuluan ay nakatutok sa Showbiz Inside Report ng  ABS CBN. Di kasi baseless ito at factual ang atake ng mga hosts kaya pinaniniwalaang tunay. Hahahaha!

On top of that, how could you resist not to watch the winsome Carmina Villaroel in action with her luminous beauty and intelligence in full gear? Hahahahahahaha!

Also, Janice de Belen happens to be in her elements the very moment she would discuss her subjects with her cool smartness and regal bearings.

Pambalanse siyempre ang wackiness ni Pareng Ogie na mabentang-mabenta sa masa, at maraming barako naman ang nakatutok kay Tsong Joey Marquez as he talks about the topic for the week with cool machismo. Hahahahaha!

No wonder, on a Saturday afternoon, right after It’s Showtime, nakatutok na ang mga otaw sa Showbiz Inside Report. Ang showbiz oriented program na may K!

Ang umangat, magiging dead ringer ni Bubogski. Hakhakhakhakhak!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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