Bulong halimaw strikes again!

FOR some reasons totally baffling and allien to us, this cheap matrona named Bulong Halimaw (what a name! it suits her diabolical personality to a T! Hahahaha!) has always been most antagonistic towards us and has been badmouthing us repeatedly behind our back.

Ang talagang bone of contention pala-palagi ay kung bakit raw may soft spot sa amin si Senator Bong Revilla gayung binobola lang naman raw namin ito. Whaaaaat?

Igaya ba sa kanyang dupang sa pera kaya palaging nakasahod ang mga kamay. Pwe!

In a way, magkapareho silang dalawa ni Bubogski (may common denominator kasi, both are repulsively old and ugly! yuck!yuck!yuck! Hahahaha!

Ang hindi alam ng cheap and obese matronang ito ay mid or late 80s palang ay kakilala na namin itong si Senator Bong who was then an appealing young actor (he still is and more! Hahahahahaha!) and was not the famed politician that he has become today.

Hindi naman masasabing super close kami, but in the few times that we would have an encounter, I am totally floored with this guy’s sincerity, kindness and terrific PR.

Minsan kasi ay medyo nakanti rin namin siya sa aming somewhat acidic na panulat but far from reacting negatively, nginitian pa niya kami, the next time we met, nang pagkatamis-tamis at niyakap in a brotherly fashion.

Kung ganyan ang isang tao, would you still have the temerity to hit him again or say some unkind words in your columns? No way, di ba?

Pero nagnanaknak nga ang itim na budhi nitong si Bulong Halimaw dahil parang may fondness raw sa amin ang machong actor/politician kaya kahit ano ang masabi namin in reference to Papa Bong’s character or the kind of movies that he gets to do, Bulong Halimaw would always put some negative meaning or implications to it.

Nito lang nakaraang Metro-Manila film festival, talaga namang speechless kami sa ganda ng pagkakagawa ng action-packed fantasy movie niyang Panday, when asked to comment about it by the crew of GMA7, we just put into  words our enormous feelings of admiration for the kind of movie that our idol had painstakingly dished out.

Dahil matagal na-play ‘yun sa GMA while the festival was ongoing, iritang-irita ang satanic na si Bulong Halimaw at talaga namang nag-overboard raw kami sa pagri-review ng pelikula at halatang sumisipsep (itulad ba sa kanyang very much in question ang credibility and every inch obsessed with dough? Puhleeeezzzzeeeeeee! Hahahaha! cheap!) kami kay Papa Bong. Talaga lang, ha?

Anyway, since the festival will soon unfold, nagngingitngit na naman ang insekuridang matanda na sinaksakan na ng milyones na stem cell churva, wala pa ring nagbago sa mukha at hitsura. Hakhakhakhak!
Pa’no kasi, beauty is skin deep.

Halimaw ang kalooban, ano pa ba ang makikita mo sa kanyang panlabas na kaanyuan?

Anyhow, pati ba naman teevee guestings na wala namang talent fee ay hinaharangan ng halimaw na ‘to?

Dati-rati, paborito kaming imbatahan para maging guests sa Tunay na Buhay at sa Ang Pinaka.

Pero dahil sa demonic na pag-uugali ng matronang syobaers na ‘to, biglang hindi na kami ini-invite para mag-guest sa nasabing shows gayung malaking factor rin ang guestings namin sa Tunay Na Buhay kung bakit naging hot ito lately apart from the fact that its host is really talented and good natured. Pero okay lang.

Harangan mo man kami nang harangan, it doesn’t really matter.

Talbog namang lahat sa tikbalangic mong pagmumukha ang masasama mong gawain. Hahahahahaha!  Yuck!yuck!yuck!

The Lord never sleeps and He’s basically aware of the diabolical things that this obese matrona has been doing to us for many a good year now. Go, lola! Goooo!

Go to hell where you rightfully and truthfully belong! Hahahahahaha!

***

A young kid on the block!

MAY talent itong si Rei Yagami, ang 12-year-old protege ng kaibigan naminng si Ronald Duka.

Born in Japan with a Pinay mom and a Japanese father, she’s been able to record an album featuring the tou- ching single My Mama, My Papa, along with Inay and May Himig.

Nagkaroon ito ng impressive album launch last September 8 sa Master Showman ni Mr. German Moreno where she’s been given the chance to perform side by side with Jake Vargas.

Pretty soon, she’ll be doing some mall tours and the first one is tentatively scheduled on November 12. Do watch it for it!

***

Showbiz Inside Report, unkabogable!

THE time has really come for Showbiz Inside Report to shine.

Kaya nga super afraid si Bulong Halimaw dahil ramdam niyang ito ang maglilibing sa kanyang show into extinction.

Into extinction raw, o! Hahahaha! How cheap!

Pa’no kasi, intelligent at sensible ang approach nina Janice de Belen, Tsong Joey Marquez, Pareng Ogie Diaz at Ms. Carmina Villaroel na lalong humuhusay as time goes by.

They have never been boring in spite of the fact that they don’t delve so much on cheap sensationalism but more on the raw facts of the issue.

Carry mo ba ‘yan, Bulong Halimaw? Hahahahaha!!

I’m sure you can’t because you’re so obsessed with money and your whole life revolves around it. Hahahahaha!

Apart from that, you’re not appealing to look at, too. and is most vitriolic in lambasting people who are not giving you money. Hahahahahaha!  Cheap!

Anyway, sa SIR nakatutok ang buong sanlibutan on a Saturday afternoon right after It’s Showtime.

Pa’no naman, attention grabbing ang hosting style nina Pareng Ogie, Tsong Joey, Mareng Janice at Mareng Carmina, di ka talaga mabo-bore. Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Kaabang-abang sina Lovi, Rocco at Papa Luis sa Yesterday’s Bride

SA totoo, ang ganda-ganda ng triumvirate nina Lovi Poe, Rocco Nacino at Luis Allandy sa Yesterday’s Bride ng GMA na talaga namang riveting ang dating. Kung may chemistry sina Rocco at Lovi, enthralling naman ang arrive ng tandem nina Lovi at Papa Luis.

Kapani-paniwala talagang magpo-fall sa kanyang machismo (Luis) si Lovi dahil smoldering ang appeal ng aktor.

Rocco, on the other hand, is a good actor and a veritably intense one kaya complimentary ang kanyang personalidad kina Lovi at Luis.

Kaya pakaabangan ang obrang ito (Yesterday’s Bride) ng batikang direktor na si Gil Tejada na galing naman ang kwento sa original concept ni Liberty Trinidad.

Yesterday’s Bride is slated to premiere on October 20 right after Eat Bulaga on GMA Afternoon Prime.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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