Dating hunky, ngayo’y lomodic na!

LAKING gulat namin nitong huli mapanood on TV ang dati’y svelte and trim ang pangangatawang news and current affairs personality sa isang sikat na network.

Kung dati kasi’y lean and hunky talaga ang kanyang pangangatawan, lately, he has become quite heavy and it’s obvious that he has tremendously gained a lot of unwanted poundage, (Hahahahahahahahahaha!) it’s hard to believe that he’s still the same man who was very particular about his body and his health in general. Harharharharharhar!

‘Yan kasi ang hirap sa pagwo-workout na ‘yan. Once na tinamad ka na at itinigil mo, expect the flabs to return with a vengeance. Hahahahahahahaha!

Kahit nga si Richard Gomez na dati-rati’y the paradigm of an Adonis ay hindi na rin singganda ang pangangatawan lately nang itigil niya ang kanyang assiduous workout.

The same thing can be said of Tsong Joey Marquez who used to be supremely hunky and virile but is now slowly wasting away into fats. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Kaya kung hindi rin lang naman mami-maintain, it is best to just go on a diet (eat sparingly my loves…Hahahahahahahaha!) and do some occasional walking exercises if and when you have the time for it.

Kita n’yo na lang ang nangyari sa guy na ‘to na noo’y super lean talaga ang physigue at napaka-trim and sexy pero ngayo’y almost lomodic na ever. Hakhakhakhakhak! Pati nga panga niya’y prominent na at medyo nagsa-sag na prematurely.
Pero ang biggest disappointment talaga ay ang kanyang svelte body na ngayo’y sooo pronounced na ang laki ng tiyanetch, hindi kaya lumiit na si Junior? Hindi kaya lumiit na raw si Junior, o! Harharharharharhar!

I just can’t imagine it becoming smaller because of excess avoirdupois. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Maglakad-lakad ka, p’re. Stop being a couch potato for your own good.

In a way, he must have become grossly disappointed because the network he’s affiliated with seems not to realize his enormous potential and has thrown him into its not so rating cable channel.

Hurting nga namang napaka-promising mo tapos sa cable channel ka lang ilalagay and all because the fags in residence (the fags in residence raw talaga, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!) just can’t fellate you. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na! Cheap!

RIOT TALAGA SINA KIM AT XIAN!

AFTER the ‘traumatic’ pestebal (traumatic pestebal daw talaga, o! Harharharharharharhar!) what a most refreshing change to know that a veritably good movie is going to get shown pretty soon.

Fittingly titled ‘Bride for Rent’, it’s being starred in by the millennium tandem Kim Chiu and Xian Lim.

Follow up ito ng blockbuster movie nilang ‘Bakit ‘Di Ka Crush Ng Crush Mo?’ that was shown last year and had become the surprise hit of the season.

What makes the movie a veritable feast is the presence of Ms. Pilita Corrales, hunky Marin del Rosario and cutie Matt Evans. Directed by Mae Czarina Cruz. I’m pretty positive that the movie’s going to a certified hit once again. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Mamatay sa inggit ang ngetpalites na si Fermi Chaka. Harharharharhar!

Magdukit ka na lang gurangski. Hakhakhakhakhakhak!

NAMAMATAY PA RIN SA INGGIT ANG ISA PANG LOMOD!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I feel so fortunate.

Imagine, I’m not rich and not half as well-connected as this lomodic gurangski and yet every fiber of her being is envious of me. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Pa’no nga, with all her money, Mr. Right is infinitely hard to come by.

Bluntly stated, walang magkagusto sa kanya kaya hurting ang fatso na gurang. Hahahahahahahaha!
Imagine, even her so called minions appear to have become indifferent and not half as cowtowing as before. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Buti nga sa lomodic na gurangski na ‘to na wala nang ginawa kundi mangharang nang mangharang gayong hindi naman siya pinakikialaman namin at wala naman kaming kebs sa kanyang mga eksena.

Kunsabagay, not even her truckloads of money could buy sophistication and elan and the educated tongue that we have and she’s very much wanting of. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Balutin ka man ng ginto, babaeng gagamba, (babaeng gagamba raw talaga, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!) it’s not going to give you sophistication and the kind of education that you’re basically very much wanting of. Idiota!
Tonta! Wah edukasyon! Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Mangharbat ka na lang nang mangharbat. Tutal ‘yan naman talaga ang expertise mo at ang kuflang-bate. Harharharharharharharharhar!
Kuflang-bate raw talaga, o! Yuck!

Abomonable gurangga, well-connected ka mang naturingan, amoy burak ka pa rin at squatteric.
Squatteric daw talaga, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhak!
Period. Ayoko ko ng mal-edukada! Tsupi!

IDEAL MS. CLAIRE

NATAPOS na ang Pasko’t Bagong Taon pero nakalimutan kong pasalamatan ang taong lagi na’y nakaalalay sa amin ni Peter L., ang pabolosa ang kabaitan at kasosyalang si Ms. Claire dela Fuente.

Sa true, kaya good karma ang taong ito kahit na sandamakmak ang mga kontrabidang gusto siyang i-down ay dahil sa likas na napakabait niya.

Kumbaga, walang masamang tinapay sa kanya kaya good karma siyang naturingan.

Kita n’yo naman, kahit sa mga alaga ay napakaswerte niya kaya karamihan sa kanila’y humahataw talaga.

As you guys can very well see, bonggetch lang naman ang showbiz careers nina Yam Concepcion at Meg Imperial. So far, nasa Galema: Anak ni Zuma si Meg Imperial bilang kontrabida ni Andi Eigenmann, samantalang may nilulutong project naman for Yam ang Dos right after her rating soap with Ejay Falcon na ‘Dugong Buhay.’

Come to think of it, maswerte sa kanyang mga alaga si Ms. Claire save for one. Save for one raw talaga, o! Na nakakuha lang ng rich na benefactor ay dedma na sa kanyang manager na nagpakahirap para ma-build-up siya’t makilala. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

On her own, may Mida’s touch talaga si Ms. Claire dahil blockbuster sa rami ng otawzing pala-palagi ang kanyang resto sa Magsaysay Avenue sa Pasay city.

Pa’no kasi, wala namang masamang tinapay sa taong ito kaya lapitin ng grasya.

Dapat lang!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang Kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!


6 Responses for “Dating hunky, ngayo’y lomodic na!”

  1. I am Kristd da Imbecile says:

    HAHAHA! BAKIT GALIT KA RIN KAY LOLIT SOLIS ATE PETE?

    • KriSTD says:

      nyahahahha ay Tanga si imbecile. aka K.R.,,,hahahaha nagtatanong ka pa? halos araw araw inuupakan ng writer na ito si lolit,,,hhahah nagtatanong ka pa? bwahahahha

  2. KriSTD says:

    nyahahahhaha kilala ko yan,,,,hahahahha yung nasa ANC na ngayon,,,hahahahah ganyan talaga sa Katol Network palakasan sa taas,,,,hahhahaha….korek ka diyan mr writer,,,hahahaha the fags in residence,,,,dapat kasing gawin sa nabubulok na building diyan sa Ignacia,,,total Pest Control ang gawin hahahha, tapos,,,i exorcist ang buong building,,ng mawala yung mga evil spirit na mga bakla at tomboy, DOM na nanamantala sa mga batang gustong maging artista,,,hahahah

    • Troy says:

      TO LOOK GOOD IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TV OR MOVIE PERSONALITIES TO THEMSELVES. THAT’S WHAT FAT MEMO IS FOR. AT LEAST MAY WORK PA RIN YUNG NEWS PERSONALITY UNLIKE WHAT SYETAE DID TO THEIR TALENTS.

    • DISWALA says:

      hanggat may mga fantards na katulad nla fake Choco, Troy… mananatiling mamayagpag ang evil spirit na yan!

Leave a Reply

*
nyahahahaha ' kapay' Ilusyon mo lang yan,,,may mag...
KAPAY KAPAY EASY EASY KA LANG .. HAHAHAH NAGLAWAY ...
NYAHAHAHAHA WAHAHAHA KAPAY KAPAY EASY EASY ANG HIG...
PINAGMALAKING MO SEGMENT NA KAKAIBA KUNO STD BUHKE...
AGUYYYYYY AGUY REFORMAT NA ANG ALL STARLETS PARTY ...
Si junior ang composer ng yakap, english ang orig,...
nyahahahah siyempre naman para lalong gumanda ...
nyahahahahah ayy talaga,,sure ka bang binenta nila...
nyahahahah saan? anong lugar diyan sa bisaya? ha...
nyahahahaha saan? anong music stores? bwahahaha...

BREAKING NEWS


© 2010 Remate | Ang Dyaryo ng Masa. All Rights Reserved.