Ang bagong Onemig Bondoc… Bow!

onemig

HAHAHAHAHAHA! We are not mistaken when we wrote in our column that this young actor who is quite the toast of tinsel town these days happens to be a ham actor.

Oo nga’t may appeal siya at malaking batuta pero sad to say, he doesn’t have the talent for acting. Bluntly stated, he is a ham actor through and through.

Pero ‘yun na nga, tuloy-tuloy ang pagdating ng swerte dahil in nga siya sa ngayon dahil nakabola ang kanyang mga gay benefactors na siya ang next big actor in Tinsel town. Harharharharharharhar!

Parang siya na nga ang successor ng aktor na si Onemig Bondoc. Overnight sensation and the fans are visible enamored with his pleasant good looks but as an actor, nada!

Nothing to offer but his big, throbbing dick! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, he is being offered lots of good roles to date. Tinatambal din siya sa young actress na habang nagma-mature ay nagiging dead ringer ng kanyang ina na hindi kagandahan ang over-all facial appeal.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, he should enjoy the attention and good roles that are coming his way because all of these are basically ephemeral.

Hindi siya magtatagal sa industriya dahil he doesn’t have the talent. A big dick is not enough quarantee that you are going to last long in this business.

Dapat ay matuto siyang umarte dahil kapag nag-mature na siya nang husto at hindi na novelty ang kanyang big, throbbing dick, where would he be?

So, enjoy the attention but don’t be too complacent. Magsumikap kang matutong umarte dahil ‘yun ang magiging passport mo to your longevity in the business.

When you’re young, a big dick is a veritable asset. But when you’re a bit older, they demand good acting from you.

‘Yun lang!

MAHINA!

Wala pa raw quarter of a billion ang kinita ng Metro-Manila film festival kaya disappointed ang mga namamahala rito.

Dati nga naman, siksik-liglig ang kinikita nito pero this time, wala pang 250 million ang over-all earnings ng festival.

How so very sad!

Kung bakit naman kasi nagmaganda ang mga festival people at nagdesisyong mga indie movies ang papasukin sa festival.

Hayan tuloy, mukhang nalugi sila.

Good for them. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, matuto na siguro silang mga mainstream movies na ang papasukin next festival season. Puede naman kasing pagsamahin nila ang mainstream at ang indie para masiyahan din sila. But they should not forget that majority of the moviegoers would want good entertainment.

Ang usual topic naman kasi ng mga indie ay mga depressing subjects kaya para mapagbigyan ang gusto nila, paghaluin na lang ang mainstream at indie flicks sa susunod na festival season.

‘Yun lang!

BIANCA UMALI, MOLANG-MOLA ANG DATING!

Na-shock ang mga netizens sa postings ng young actress na si Bianca Umali sa kanyang instagram account.

At 17, dalagang-dalaga na ang projection ng katambal ni Miguel Tanfelix at marami talaga ang nag-like sa kanyang bonggacious na payanig.

Sa totoo, ang bilis ng maturity ni Bianca at puede na siyang itambal sa mga medyo mature actors sa mga pelikulang ang tema ay a bit
bold and daring.

A bit bold and daring raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Totoo ka, puedeng ipa-remake sa kanya ang Ligaw na Bulaklak ni Alma Moreno nu’ng warly 70s. Nasa kanya kasi ang freshness at endowments ni Ness when she was almost her age.

‘Yun bang tipong walang malay at inosenteng-inosente pero all woman na ang dating.

Anyhow, hindi kami magtataka kung ibang path ang tahakin ng dalagitang ito. Puedeng-puede siya sa mga Blue Lagoon type of a movie or the awakening ng isang nagdadalaga.

IBANG-IBA ANG DATING!

Bagama’t hindi katangkaran, lutang na lutang ang sex appeal ni Ken Chan sa soap operang Meant To Be featuring the bubbly Barbie Forteza.

Sa presscon ng nasabing soap, kitang-kita ang pagkakaiba niya sa mga male leads ng naturang soap.

Oo nga’t ini-intrigang very much wanting of machismo raw ang binata pero para sa amin, swabeng-swabe lang ang kanyang arrive.

And very cuddlesome, too! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Parang tipong siya ‘yung klase ng lalakeng any young woman would be proud to bring home to mama.

Palaging nakangiti at grasyoso at hindi male chauvinist pig ang dating.

Hindi raw male chauvinist pig ang dating, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, we are so happy that he has passed with flying colors his effeminate days roon sa isang soap na ginawa siyang transwoman.

Nang makita kasi namin siya sa presscon ng nasabing soap (Meant To Be), wala na ni konting bakas ng pagiging homo ang kanyang dating.

Parang binatang palangiti at bibo ang arrive.

‘Yun nah!

AYAW MAKASAKIT

Grasyosa at napakabait talaga nitong si Congressman Vilma Santos.

Hayan at she had the presence of mind to nix the offer to become one of the jurors at the recently concluded MMFF.

Aware kasi si Ate Vi na baka intrigahin na naman siya dahil may festival entry ang kanyang kumareng si Ms. Nora Aunor, kaya nag-beg off na siya for delicadeza.

‘Yan naman ang maganda rito kay Ate Vi, hindi pa man umuulan ay nagpapayong na siya.

Kaya ang ending, laging iwas-pusoy siya.

Anyway, maraming press people talaga ang hanga sa kanyang terrific PR at kagandahan ng pakikisama sa working press.

Hangga’t makakaya niya o maisisingit sa kanyang hectic working sched, hindi talaga niya pinahihindian ang mga reporters na gustong  ma-interview siya.

Tunay ka, she has always been the paradigm of good PR that’s why she has remained unchallenged when you speak of dedication to her career.

Kaya naman kapag gumagawa siya ng pelikula ay palaging suportado ng kanyang mga tagahanga. Imagine, a part of her talent fee in a commercial she did sometime last year, she openly and willingly gave to the trust fund of her Vilmanians.

Kung ganyan ba naman ang idolo mo, how could you help not loving her?

Love you, Ate Vi. May your tribe increase.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at peteampoloquiojr@gmail.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.
And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!
DAPAT LANG!/PETE G. AMPOLOQUIO, JR.

 

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