Sinabotahe talaga ang movie ni La Aunor

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ARAW-ARAW ay wala nang ginawa ang witch na si Bubonika kundi i-down ang Kabisera ni Ms. Nora Aunor.

Pinalalabas ng tamulmolic na bruha na walang kwenta at basura kuno ang movie ng award-winning actress kaya raw hindi tinao at nilangaw sa box-office. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

For some vague reasons, Bubonika seems to have an immense animosity towards the multi-awarded actress to the point that she keeps on writing endlessly in her cheaply written columns that the movie’s supposedly a piece of thrash.

Really?

Is that sooooo?

Anyway, kahit sa award ay pinagkaitan pa rin ng MMFF ang movie ni Ate Guy. That is the very reason why Sunday Beauty Queen was even able to upstage Nora’s movie at the end of the festival.
Kasukah!

Honestly, if ugly bitch Juana Change did not sabotage the movie, it would have earned millions!

Imagine, a movie like Sunday Beauty Queen that was starred in by nameless actors was even able to upstage Nora’s movie at the end of the festival.

Pa’no naman kasi, it has been exposed and revealed that Liza Dino happens to be one of the producers of Oro, the very reason why Kabisera was not graded by the Cinema Evaluation Board.

Kung graded B lang naman sana, malaki rin ang magagawa nito para ma-curious ang mga tao at panoorin ito.

Pero hindi nga. Hinarangan nila ang isang quality pic na tulad ng Kabisera dahil sa may ulterior motive ang taong involved sa MMFF.

Yosi-kadiri!

Malaking factor rin ang panglalait ng asal demonyang si Fermi Chakitah para mawalan ng interes ang mga taong panoorin ang Kabisera.

Araw-araw ba namang ginawa ng Diyos ay nilalait ng tamulmolic na gurang ang pelikula, sino naman ang magkakainteres na panoorin ito, aber?

Ang general consensus kasi ng mga manonood ay napaka-cheap ng pagkakagawa nang Kabisera ni Mama Guy kaya they have avoided it like the plague.

Karima-rimarim!

Anyway, kung si Nora ay makagagawa pa rin ng pelikula, si Crispy Patah ay wala ng pag-asawang makabalik pa sa telebisyon with her ugly persona and attack and collect scheme.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ano ba naman kasi ang ikinagagalit niya sa superstar gayung nag-apologize na rin naman ito sa kanya nu’ng pareho pa silang nasa TV5?

Pa’no kasi, this ugly witch of a bitch is hankering for money coming from the superstar.

If she was given dough by the actress, she would have been silenced by now.

Pero wala ngang ibinigay na andalu ang superstar kaya bira to the max ang ngangaerang oslang TV host. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Wala ka namang magagawa para patayin ang showbiz career ni Mama Guy impertenenteng ulikba.

Impertenenteng ulikba raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

You can write so many imagined things about her and yet she will always be the highly revered actress that she has always been.

Ikaw ay magmimistulang laos na palaka pero siya’y mananatiling ang nag-iisang supertar. Period. Ayoko ng chakah! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

NAGIGING KAMUKHA NA NI MUDRA!

Hahahahahahahahahaha! Habang nagkakaedad, nagiging kamukha na ng kanyang madir ang isang dati’y magandang young actress.

As she matures, something seems to be happening to her face. It seems to lose it’s natural allure and resilience and is fast becoming bulky and similar to her mom’s bulky and gross-looking face. Harharharharharhar!

Dapat siguro’y mag-diet muli ang young actress na ‘to dahil nagiging sooo lapad ang kanyang dati’y oval physiognomy.

Pa’no na lang kung lalapad pa ang kanyang mukha lalo na’t malalaki pa naman ang kanyang mga kapatahan. Hahahahahahahaha!

Beware!

Okay lang sana kung she would be aping her auntie’s comely face. Pero hindi nga e. Parang nagiging sooo lapad ang kanyang mukha ever.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

SUPER CLOSE TALAGA!

Matindi palang talaga ang intimacy nina Jodi Sta. Maria at Ian Veneracion. Imagine, kasama pala siya at ang kanyang pamilya nang magbakasyon sina Jolo Revilla at Jodi sa Iceland.

Kay Richard Yap ay hindi naging ganito ka-intimate si Jodi.

Anyway, speaking of Ser Chief, mukhang malaki ang kanyang disappointment dahil si Robin Padilla raw ang makakasama nito sa susunod niyang project sa ABS CBN.

Sa totoo lang naman, may arrive pa rin ang tandem nina Jodi at Richard kung ikukumpara lang naman sa Jodi and Robin tandem.

Ang mabuti pa para walang samaan ng loob, why not make it a Jodi, Richard and Robin triumvirate?

Parang mas maganda pa at fierce ang dating, di ba naman?

‘Yun nah!

PURO RAW PANLALAKE ANG INAATUPAG

Sa lahat namang naging international beauty titlist, parang ito lang namang morenang beauty queen ang wala na raw inatupag kundi mang-hipat ng lalake. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Since na makuha niya ang korona, hindi siya natulad kay Megan Young na pawang mga charitable causes ang pinagbuhusan ng panahon.

Ito yatang babaeng ito ay puro mga ombre ang pinagkakaabalahan. Parang dick-hungry raw ang dating ever. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Hay, naku, tingnan natin kung wala ka na sa posisyon kung makahihipat ka pa ng mga lalake.

‘Yun nah!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at peteampoloquiojr@gmail.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!  DAPAT LANG!/PETE G. AMPOLOQUIO, JR.

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