Mga demonyong nilalang ang nakatitikim ng lait sa amin

NAHAHAMBAL raw ang isang mabait na politician/actress kapag nababasa ang aming column rito sa Remate.

According to the good-natured politician/actress, she finds our writings ‘scary’. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Well, honey, I am only uncouth and cavalier to those who are equally demonic individuals like Lolita Buruka who is, beyond doubt, the paradigm of haughtiness and being thick-skinned in the business.

I will never tire in writing about how condescending she was to us (still is if I may say so! Hahahahahahahaha!) during the 80s when I was but starting to build a name for myself as an entertainment writer.

Napaka-ilusyunada talaga ng mukhang chabokang ito during that time at kahit naman ngayon.

Hayan at ang barya-baryang kinikita namin noon kay Bhoy Navarette ay kanyang hinarangan pa at tinigbak.

Ang kapal!

Over sa kapalllllllllll!

Apart from that, napakamainggitin pa. Sinabi lang ni Lorna Tolentino na hanga siya sa way of writing namin, katakot-takot ng paninira ang ginawa.

Makatarungan ba naman ‘yun?

Is she being fair?

Kaya ni katiting na respeto ay wala kami sa mukhang vavalina at chabokang gurang na ‘to.

Mukhang vavalina at chabokang gurang raw, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

I don’t fucking care if she’s loaded and infinitely moneyed. Para amin, mal-edukada siya at walang pinag-aralan at never na magiging ka-level namin sa larangan ng pagsusulat.

Excuse me, noh? Unschooled ang gurang na ‘yan na sa Sampaloc Elementary School yata nag-aral.

Sa Sampaloc Elementary School raw nag-aral, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

How gross! Hahahahahahahaha!

Just look at the way she talks, isn’t she is almost an illiterate? Harharharharhar!

Money cannot buy you good education and breeding, honey.

Kita n’yo naman, sa rami ng andalu niya, cheap na cheap pa rin siya at walang breeding kung magsalita at kumilos.

Yuck!

Good breeding is not something that you palpably get on the street. It’s something that you acquire in the process of going to a good school.

Kaya look at Buruka’s bearing, so very baduy in spite of her much-vaunted opulence. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Di na baleng mahirap ako basta’t I have my dignity intact.

For what good is money if you are being looked down by some people primarily because of your being exceedingly cheap!

Kaya sa ‘yo na ang yaman mo Buruka. For what good is money if you have no one to share it with?

Que miserable usted! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Babu!

ELMO MAGALONA, INI-INSIST NA FRIENDS LANG DAW SILA NI JANELLA SALVADOR!

Feel daw sanang ligawan ni Elmo Magalona ang ka-loveteam niyang si Janella Salvador. Ang kaso, hindi pa raw ready ito to plunge in a relationship.

Pinakadiin-diin ni Elmo na wala pa raw silang relasyon ni Janella.

Sa isang presscon, he was asked by TV Patrol reporter MJ Felipe if he and Janella are into a relationshp already.

His answer was a resounding no!

Aware raw kasi niyang plunging into a relationship is not one of Janella’s priority.

Inasmuch as Janella’s mature enough to plunge into a relationship, but she made it clear that it’s not her priority as of the moment and he supposedly respects that.

“Hindi ko siya minamadali, but I’m just happy na meron kaming… we’re both happy,” he said, trying to keep his emotions in check.

Jenine Desiderio is quite strict with Janella and she is vocal about their disagreements on her Facebook account.

As a matter of fact, minsan na ngang na-involve si Elmo sa disagreement ng mag-ina.

Si Elmo allegedly ang pinatututsadahan Jenine sa kanyang Twitter post na, “who looks & pretends to be decent but sneaks behind my back.”

Of course Janella said that it was not Elmo her mom was alluding to.

“Hindi, no. It’s just, really, si Janella, hindi pa siya ready in a relationship, and I totally understand that.”

KEN CHAN, WALANG INTENSYONG MAGING THIRD WHEEL SA RELASYONG BARBIE FORTEZA-JAK ROBERTO

Ken Chan has made it clear that he doesn’t have an iota of an intention to be the third wheel in Barbie Forteza’s relationship with Jak Roberto.

Naging sweet man daw siya sa kanyang leading lady sa movie nilang This Time I’ll Be Sweeter but it’s strictly on a professional level only. But he was quick to admit that he was once attracted to Barbie, pero mas nangibabaw raw ang kanilang friendship ni Jak.

Once in a while, he admitted that he comes to regret his decision of not courting Barbie when she was single and very much available.

“Minsan, naiisip ko, ‘Ba’t ba hindi ko ginawa? Bakit hindi ko…’

“Hindi ko alam, kasi siguro mas naniniwala ko run sa… ayokong masira ang relationship namin ni Barbie bilang magkaibigan.

“Kasi, kapag pinasok namin ‘yung relationship namin na mag-on, mag-girlfriend-boyfriend, e, may posibilidad na masira.”

Forever na lang ba silang magiging magkaibigan?

“Hindi ko naman sinasara yung… sinasabi din naman niya na hindi niya isinasara ‘yung pintuan niya para sa lahat.

“Siguro, kasama na ako run para sa akin.

“So, in time… hindi natin alam, bahala na.”

At this point, kinontra naman niya ang allegations ng press na hinayaan raw kasi niyang mapunta sa iba si Barbie.

“Hindi ko naman hinayaang mangyari ‘yun,” he said in earnest. “Na kay Barbie naman kasi.

“Parang sabi ko nga, mas gusto kong mapanatili ang friendship namin ni Barbie, kaysa maging boyfriend-girlfriend kami.

“Kasi naniniwala ako na may forever sa friendship.”

Hindi naman kaya mag-react na si Jak sa kanyang revelations?

“Sabi ko kay Jak, ‘Bro, pahiramin mo muna ako, ha?’”

Sabi naman daw ni Jak, la raw silang problema roon at suportado niya ang tandem nila nila ni Barbie.

“Basta ako, masaya ako sa pagiging magkaibigan namin ni Barbie at sa working relationship naming lahat.

“Alam naman niya na sobrang close lang kami ni Barbie, na parang magkapatid na kami.”

JASON ABALOS, BINANATAN ANG BABAENG NANG-INTRIGA SA KANYA SA FACEBOOK!

A couple of months ago, a female netizen’s allegations of malice against Jason Abalos went viral.

Kung tutuusin, siya pa nga raw ang dapat magdemanda but he chose to have it ignored.

So far, all of those incriminating posts, the girl chose to have them removed. He waited for a subpoena but nothing came.

Simply stated, their allegation was not credible.

Jason explained, “Medyo sensitive ‘to, kasi inakusahan ako, di ba?”

Isa sa inakusa kay Jason ay ang “indecency” raw ng aktor na ang gusto raw ay magkaroon sila ng sexual inter-action.

Pinakadiin-diin ni Jason na “fabricated” ang palitan nila ng Facebook messages ng nasabing netizen.

“Ang gusto naman ng mga ‘yan talaga, mapansin sa social media, e,” he deliberately said. “Kumbaga, hindi na dapat pag-usapan pa.

“After a day, nawala na yung issue.

“Lahat ng post nila, tinanggal na rin nila.

“‘Yung mga kabatan ngayon, hindi mo alam kung anong trip sa buhay, e.”

At this juncture, sinabi ni Jason na it’s palpably clear that he doesn’t know this woman who said that he was insisting that they have sex. Wala rin daw ideya ang aktor kung bakit ginawan siya nito ng isyu.

Nilinaw rin ni Jason at this juncture that his relationship with his girlfriend and ex-Pinoy Big Brother: All In housemate na si Vickie Rushton is still going strong.

***
And with that, ito po ang Kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nhong! DAPAT LANG!/PETE G. AMPOLOQUIO, JR.

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